Ask Me Anything Episode 2 (Podcast) Leigh (LoGun) Attract Women 15 Comments Ladies and gentlemen… For your listening pleasure… I present: Ask Me Anything Episode 2! Yes, save the round of applause. I know it’s far later than it should have been but I just love making you work for it. It’s shorter than the last one (coming in at just under 40 minutes) but it’s still jammed full of solid advice. Enjoy 🙂 (Right click here and select ‘save as’ to download) Here the list of links to things we talk about in the podcast: – Got a question you want answered? Post it here: Ask Me Anything – How to be a better looking Man – The Capacity to Love – Endgame A few of the guys who were the test subjects for this podcast have already asked me about what they can do to get a mentor to help them spot their own blind spots. If you feel like you’re also ‘missing something obvious’ or just want personal feedback on your issues and challenges, check out the personal coaching page here: Your own personal mentor The first 20 minute consultation is free and you get the chance to work out exactly who you want to work with. Here’s a breakdown of the questions and what you can expect to learn: QUESTION 1: How can I give women what they want without losing my internal focus and straying away from what I want? – The foundations of attraction – What it really means to ‘give’ to a woman – What you need to do to get to a place where you feel you can give to women – Can you give all the time? – The important of taking care of your own shit first – How I structure my life so that I can give to the women in my life – That Jermaine is a liar QUESTION 2: How can I make women attracted to me whilst I’m balding? – The secret food to that will keep your hair from thinning – The simple solution to making sure no more of your hair falls out – The role that hair plays in attracting women – Why this is the wrong question to be asking and what you should be focussing on QUESTION 3: How do I deal with women who want respond to me in a nightclub? – The simple way to handle it to make sure it doesn’t ruin your night – How to use rejection to form deep connections – The one response thats worse than a cold shoulder (not what you think it is) QUESTION 4: What is love in your point of view? What role does it play becoming confident? How does it relate to sex? – What I think love really is – The role that American society plays in limiting love – Why sexual desires take on morphed and deviant forms – The way love is portrayed by popular culture and what they’re really talking about – What’s required to be able to give women complete freedom QUESTION 5: How do find your blind spots? How do you deal with them when you find them? I still have a long way to go. Should I approach women now or wait till I’ve got my shit together? – The key indicator that will tell you when you’re lying to yourself – The different forms that indicator can take as you move through your life – The Gatorade / Water analogy That’s it gentlemen, I hope you’ve enjoyed it. If you have questions about anything that’s covered in the podcast, feel free to leave them in the comments below. If you have a question that’s not related to what’s covered in the prodcast and would like it answered, make sure you leave it on the Ask Me Anything thread on the forum here: Ask me Anything Leigh Join over 25,000 subcribersDownload your FREE copy of Seduction Community Sucks now and get in-field videos, subscriber-only articles, and exclusive podcasts delivered directly to your inbox If you're ready to become the kind of Man that attracts confident and in-demand women without trying, then I have a gift to start you on that journey. Seduction Community Sucks is your 159 page kick-start to becoming the kind of Man that makes women go weak at the knees. Get your FREE copy, as well as access to other subscriber-only articles, podcasts, and video footage, now. Get your FREE ebook, hidden articles, in-field videos, and exclusive podcasts here: 15 Responses guillermo September 4, 2013 Hi. I was the one who asked the 3rd question. What Jermaine said was interesting. When you relate to her despite she is “rejecting” you. Never happened to me, I didn´t quite understand him. how could I possible feel connected to someone who is rejecting me? When Andrew said “I don´t have a good time by hanging around people who don´t want to talk me” is true, but also put you in a position of minimizing effort interacting with women. Despite we want to be our best selves and create an amazing world, we also have to go through pain if we want to change our interaction with women. I don´t agree with Andrew because that is the kind of “maximize the input by minimizing the output” mindset (like “ok, I´m chill in the nightclub, but if I start interacting with women and they start rejecting me, I might loose some of my good feeling that I had before and I may have problems to get it back, and I didn´t come here to have a shitty night. I came here to have fun and if I feel in the mood to interact with women, I`ll do it”. It´s a distortion because despite you can feel good doing amazing things in your free time and enjoying every day, that is tested when you interact with women and they start rejecting you. Leigh. I think in order to become the person you are today you had to experience a lot of pain when you got rejected and embarrassed, despite following the philosophy that is known in AI . And I think you had moments when you just wanted to give up because you had to manage the pain you were willing to take and I don´t think you found the answers by going out one or two times per week. The last thing you said (when she gives you something to play with you follow trough but if not you leave) you do it in order to not to loose the good feeling that you have inside you or is an expression of you saying what you tolerate and what not? Another point. I think a good idea for the updates of the page would be posting “newbie missions inside the nightclub” (apart from working on your propose, focus and actions) Great podcast. Reply Leigh (LoGun) September 4, 2013 Hey mate, Just to make sure I don’t misfire on your question, could you try shortening it down into one or two specific questions? I’m getting lost in the details here. Reply guillermo September 5, 2013 Yes. 1) How could I possibly feel connected to someone who is rejecting me? 2)Andrew said “I don´t have a good time by hanging around people who don´t want to talk me” and you agreed with him, but I don´t totally agree because I see it as a way of avoiding pain while you are being rejected, and pain is a key element. I think that in your journey to be good with women (apart from working on yourself) you had to approach a lot but also you had to suffer a lot of pain while been rejected. In your case, how did you manage that pain?when you felt it you kept approaching until you couldn´t handle it anymore and then you started again, or did you only keep going if you felt good? Leigh (LoGun) September 5, 2013 1) Have a read of this and see if that makes sense: http://www.attractioninstitute.com/overcoming-loneliness-101/ 2) From what I can tell, the reason this doesn’t make sense to you is that we’re coming from two totally different worlds. You’re trying to find a way to become better at dealing with all the emotions and expereinces that you perceive the world causes you, and we’re talking about becoming better at creating the experience we want. Two totally different things. I can’t tell you how to stop getting rejected or manage the pain that comes from it. AI is about helping you get to a place in your life where you don’t care if people reject you and therefore, there’s no pain associated with it. Does that make sense? guillermo September 5, 2013 Thank you for your answer. 1)I´ll check that article. 2) A little bit. I understand what the philosophy of AI is. I´m not in the search of the “3 funky steps of how to deal with your rejection” but a simplify version of how you were dealing with pain in your journey, because what Andrew said (I don´t have a good time by hanging around people who don´t want to talk me) is truth. If you want to reach a place where you don’t care if people reject you, you must immerse into a process where pain is an element when interacting with people and they reject you . It´s not a straight line between point A and B. If B looks like you said (not caring about the rejection) and A looks like I said (“I´m working in myself to be a better person but at the same time I want to approach women, despite if I feel like I have to be this kind of self actualized man first, but I´m trying to have a boundary when they are rejecting my and I feel pain which are: 1) Stop when I can handle it anymore,rest and begin again and 2) Keep going despite If I don´t feel in a good mood to approach them”) what is in the middle? I don´t know Andrew and I´m not here to bash anyone, but for what Andrew said I don´t see him taking a lot of action in their interactions with women and I think this is a common think with the guys of AI. You could be pushing yourself in areas of work, friends, meditation, self control, freedom, but all of that is tested when you are interacting with women and start get rejected and feel like shit. And you think “but I don´t need women to be good with myself. Look at all the things that I have been working on (meditation, work, food, breaking daily routines,etc).Look at how much I improved. Lets focus on that”. And they stopped approaching (I read the article “misconceptions about the game” and what you said is truth: “you can work on yourself and try to be with women at the same time”) I remember feeling really good with myself because of what I achieve one day(how good I felt when I challenged my reality in work or how good was breaking my daily routine,etc), but if that day I hit the club and began approaching and get blow out a lot I feel like Andrew said and I think “ok, what´s happening here?. I´m challenging and I don´t feel that power I felt when I did the other things that day”. It´s like playing tennis in different surfaces:you could be good at playing in clay, hard courts but not in grass. If you want to be good at playing in grass of course you´ll have a period when you feel like shit, self doubt, pain, etc apart of having that “small” feeling of power because you are challenging yourself,but I think I´m missing something. You are telling me: “in my world I don´t experience pain because rejections don´t matter” (a.k.a point B, you made it) and I´m in point A. How does it look being in the middle of A and B with pain? More precisely.I´m working with “Empowermen”. I´m catching myself being more and more free, but at the same time I´m experiencing pain, self doubt, embarrassment, and the feeling of saying “fuck this shit, let´s focus on other areas of my life instead”. Did you experience the same things in your journey?how did you manage that pain? Took long, but I hope you can understand the idea. DecisionTime September 4, 2013 So are people who get married necessarily dependent on their spouses? If someone gets married for the “right” reasons, is he just making a promise to selflessly give to his spouse for the rest of their lives? Clearly, there must be some experiential benefit to anyone who seeks or attempts to maintain a relationship. What separates dependence from the personal, experiential benefits being in a relationship? To Leigh, specifically, this is what I was getting at in the “Ask me anything” thread when I asked about finding a balance between what is given to and taken from the world. For example, people pay you for Endgame, coaching, etc. because, assuming that your intentions are as you say, in order for you to give something to people who visit the site, you need to ensure that you can meet your basic needs so you have to take something in return. Back to women, is your definition of dependence wanting one woman above others? If so, where does preference end and dependence begin? Reply Leigh (LoGun) September 4, 2013 This is going pretty deep here but I’ll do my best to answer it. A dependent person needs another to create the experience of life they want. An independent person can create the experience of life they want without demanding that anyone change the way they live their life. Two dependent people in a relationship need the other person to fill a hole in their life. Two independent people in a relationship don’t need the other person, but enjoy being around the other person. Being independent isn’t about having everything you’ve ever wanted all the time. It’s being able to create the experience you want, when you want to. Does that make sense? Reply DecisionTime September 5, 2013 That doesn’t really answer the question. If you have a partner, it’s because you have chosen her and continue to choose her over other women. I think it’s pretty obvious that the way that you are choosing to create the experience you want, at least in part, is by choosing her. So even if you are in the relationship for the sole reason of giving to her and assuming that giving to her enhances your experience, couldn’t it be said that, to some extent, the quality of your experience is dependent on her her? The reason that I’m pointing this out is that I think it is potentially critical of the natural relationship that each of us has with his environment. I pointed out people paying for coaching and Endgame because it’s a more obvious example of how dependency on externals is unavoidable. Assuming that your body is excluded from the external environment, if all you ever did was give to your external environment and never took anything, you’d soon be dead. This is a question that I’ve asked myself for a long time and I still can’t figure it out. Does real independence from externals equal death? Not that you’re necessarily trying to convince anyone of what mindset they should have, but I think the mindset that you can’t be dependent potentially sets up roadblocks in the minds of the people listing to this recording because it gives them another standard against which to measure themselves. I think a better strategy would be to try to accept the fact that, as a living thing and a mammal, you are dependent on your environment to some degree (but even that could be taken as a standard). Leigh (LoGun) September 5, 2013 Ok, I think I see where you’re going with this. Yes, if you choose one partner over another, it’s because they help you experience what you want. But the difference between a dependent person and an independent person is their baseline capacity to experience what they want. A dependent person CANNOT experience what they want without their partner. Because of this, they NEED the other person in their life and are dependent on them. They pressure their partner to give them what they want and therefore, feel shit when they don’t get it. Their cup is half full (or empty) and they need the other person in their life to fill it up. An independent person can experience what they want without their partner. Because of this, they don’t need the other person in their life and they’re independent of them. They give their partner the freedom to be whatever they want and therefore, don’t feel shit when they don’t get what they want from their partner. Their cup is full and so they don’t need the other person to fill it. In saying all this, theoretical conversations about what may and may not be are totally pointless and no-one grows from them. We could have hypothetical conversations about this till the cows come home and neither of us will be better off for it. The only time you’re going to grow is when you take the theory and apply it to your life. Is there a specific situation you’re having issues with or did you just want to have a theoretical conversation? DecisionTime September 5, 2013 I went back and listened to the part that led me to make a comment. Speaking from personal experience, the “dependent” kind of love can be a powerful force to pull a person in the RIGHT direction. As I see it, the issue is not the desire itself, but whatever force, which is probably always based in fear, that prevents the individual from fully acknowledging the power of that desire by maintaining the distance between the individual’s consciousness and the desire. When that distance is closed, the individual can more accurately see what the desire is all about so that he can turn his focus from results to action. I also don’t think it’s a misnomer to call it love. It’s the same underlying force that creates the healthy and unhealthy forms of love, but the unhealthy form results when other problems are present and it’s not love that’s at fault. To say it another way, “independent” love is unimpeded love, “dependent” love is repressed love, but both are love. Speaking more broadly, regardless of whether you consider this theory, it’s where I am. As I’ve pretty much said, we’re all dependent on the external world and the people in it inasmuch as we want to act within that world and have relationships with those people. Figuring out how to simultaneously be indestructible in the world (or at least losing concern about being destructible) AND live a life that makes sense to me, which I think requires purpose, which necessitates action in the world, is pretty high on my list of priorities. Maybe that whole mindset is bullshit. Maybe all of this is bullshit. Time will tell, but in meantime, concepts (“theory”), though very limited, are unavoidable if this shit is to be discussed. I’m just passing on what I’ve learned. For an individual who is not fully mature (in terms of understanding desires, role in life, etc.) such as myself and the overwhelming majority of people here, to try to move completely to a place of action from a place of non-action is to operate, at least to some extent, out of fear and disconnection. Ceasing to act out of fear is, in my experience, the first step to learning to act with purpose. It’s like dumping out your cup of water before it can be refilled. That’s not to say I don’t act. All of my actions currently have essentially the same purpose, to increase my capacity to feel, which I’m doing constantly, including making this comment. Can you see how I might be doing that? Leigh (LoGun) September 7, 2013 Sorry mate but I don’t quite understand what you’re trying to communicate here. Can you try and make it more succinct for me? I’m getting lost in the words. DecisionTime September 8, 2013 Regarding “independent” versus “dependent” love, what I’m saying is that it’s the same underlying force, that creates both forms. Here’s an analogy – let’s say you have a flashlight, a clear lens, and a blue lens. If you shine the flashlight through the clear lens, the light maintains its original color. If you shine the light through the blue lens, the light that passes through is blue, but the light coming out of the flashlight, before it hits the lens, is the same regardless of which lens you use. To criticize dependent love is to miss the power and beauty of the underlying force that creates it. If anything, the thing to criticize is the fear (the blue lens in the analogy) that causes love to actualize in its dependent form. I can say from experience that accepting the power of the underlying force can be life changing, even if actualizes itself as the dependent form of love. However, in my case, because I had ideas about how I was supposed to feel, i.e., that I wasn’t supposed to feel dependent, there was a period where I tried to bury the way I felt and it almost drove me insane. Part of the webcast came across as critical of dependent love, which I think could be detrimental to the goal of becoming a more healthy and powerful person and thus detrimental to finding love. Regarding your point to me about action versus theory, my point was that if you’re in the right place, action is the inevitable result of desire. Desire + Understanding ==> Well-directed action ==> Satisfaction of desires However, if you lack understanding, both of your desires and of who you are in the world, you won’t know how to act in a way that leads to satisfaction. If you lack understanding of your desires, the action that you do take is is not the result of desire, but fear. Leigh (LoGun) September 8, 2013 Ok, I think I get what you’re saying. The force behind dependent love is the same as the non-dependent love – the desire to experience. If that’s what you’re saying, then yes, I agree. juan esteban September 5, 2013 sincerely friend and teacher, recently wrote in this blog that AI taking a different approach to what came to be the same, I leave you with a question what will happen to the programs scheduled to take wing had light? : Addendum Endgame, InSight, Bullet Proof, Foreplay that is the question that I have because I agree that the research behind these programs seems very interesting, useful and powerful for a future thanks Reply Leigh (LoGun) September 5, 2013 Hey mate, They’re still in the works. The addendum should be released soon. InSight, is coming along and has been tested. It just needs to be uploaded. BulletProof and Foreplay are still a long way off but they’re coming along. Keep an eye on the blog for updates. 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