How to Attract Women: What They’re Not Telling You Leigh (LoGun) Attract Women 44 Comments Attracting women is simple, straight-forward, and even logical – when you know how. And if you want to take the hard work out of turning accidental eye-contact into, flirty smiles and even a feminine hand resting casually on your arm, the first thing you need to do is forget everything you’ve ever been told about attracting women. Here’s why: According to the ‘seduction bibles’ floating around the internet, mischievously traded between confused 14 year olds in seedy internet chat rooms, to attract a woman, you need to activate her attraction switches. Yes, that’s actually the way they talk about attraction, like women were some piece of Ikea furniture you could ‘turn on’ by following the instruction manual and making sure all the screws were in the right places (pun intended). This is actually a load of crap – made up by some confused little boys who couldn’t tell the difference between what they did that made a specific woman attracted to them at a specific point in time and the actual mechanism of attraction. Saying that you have to flick 5 / 9 / 14 ‘attraction switches’ to attract a woman because they were the things you did to attract one woman is like saying you need to kick a ball forward, then backwards, then with your right foot, then your left foot, then really hard with your right again to score a goal in soccer. What you did once to achieve an outcome doesn’t mean that that’s how you achieve that outcome every time. If you walked onto a soccer field and just kicked the ball the same way you did the last time you scored a goal then you’re going to miss 99.999% of the time. And if you blindly follow this flawed ‘attraction switch’ theory, you’re going to miss out on attracting the girl, time and time again. This is because the theory of attraction switches ignores the most fundamental rule of attraction: attraction is a feeling, not a thought. If you can make a woman experience what she wants to experience, then she will be attracted to you. If you can’t, then she won’t. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. If a woman wants to feel excited and alive and you can give that to her, then she’ll be attracted towards you. If a woman wants to feel safe and secure and you can give that to her, then she’ll be attracted towards you. If a woman wants to feel free and unrestricted and you can give that to her, then she’ll be attracted towards you. When you can give a woman what she wants, she’ll be drawn to you like a magnet. If you can’t, then at worst, she’ll be neutral and at worst, she’ll be pushed away from you. Now, you’re probably thinking: “So what? This isn’t revolutionary. And this doesn’t say anything about attraction switches.” And you’re right, it’s not revolutionary. Which makes it even more puzzling how the guys who came up with the attraction switch theory missed how obvious this is… The fact that attraction is a feeling makes the ‘attraction switch’ theory completely wrong on two counts. Attraction Switches are a Load of Crap Reason 1: Women want different experiences Do you think the follow women want the same experience? The 18 year old party girl who’s just broken up with her high-school sweetheart and is exploring all the possibilities that comes with moving away from home to college for the first time The 27 year old book worm who just started to explore her love affair with Edgar Allen Poe and other great literary geniuses The 35 year old cougar who craves the attention of younger men because he husband of 11 years spends more time on the Xbox than he does with her The 29 year old who’s been trapped in an unsafe relationship with an abusive boyfriend for the last 2 years and has finally found the strength to move on Do you think you could just flip the same switches with these women and they’d be on their knees unzipping your fly? Do you think you could just follow the same manual to turn all of these women into blubbering messes? No. Of course not. The party girls wants to taste freedom and so to attract her, you’d have to give her the experience of freedom The book worm wants to experience a depth of connection so to attract her, you’d have to give her the experience of connection The cougar wants to feel appreciated and important so to attract her, you’d have to give her the experience of appreciation The abuse victim wants to feel a sense of power and control over her life and so to attract her, you’d have to give her the experience of power and control Each woman is different and each woman wants a different experience. This means there is not step-by-step set of switches you have to flick because each woman has a different set of ‘switches’. Just in the same way you want different things out of life than your parents and your mates, women also want different things. But, it doesn’t just stop there. This goes even deeper… Attraction Switches are a Load of Crap Reason 2: The experience women want changes day-by-day, and even moment-by-moment Answer this: when you woke up this morning, did you crave the exact same thing for breakfast as you did for lunch? Or, over the course of the day, have your desires changed? Of course you didn’t. Why? Because people change. All the time. Every day. And that means that the experience they’re attracted to changes as well. The party girl who wants to taste freedom might see her ex-boyfriend making out with another girl and all of a sudden desire to feel significant and important The book worm who craves connection might get her fill and all of a sudden desire to do something exciting and outlandish The cougar who desires to feel appreciated and important might find her sense of significance and then crave an adventure Women (just like guys) change. Their thoughts change, their feelings change, and their desires change. You can’t just follow one set script and process to attract women because even if all women did desire the same experience at one point in time, that desire is going to change. And when that desire changes, what they’re attract to will change. But that’s not all. There’s one more point you need to know about attraction switches There’s no one exact set of tools or switches you can use to attract any woman because every woman is different. Every single one. Different women want different experiences at different times of the day and to give them the experience they want (and have them attracted to you because of it), you can’t just follow a script or a prescribed set of actions. So now comes the usual question: “How do I attract a woman by giving her the experience she wants?” This is where most pickup books would just in with techniques about to demonstrate this and how to internalise that, and frankly, once again, they’re all crap. Why? Because the actions you take don’t determine how you make women feel. You can introduce yourself in a way that makes her feel creeped out and you can introduce yourself in a way that makes her feel excited and alive You can tell a story in a way that makes her feel pressured to laugh and give you a positive response and you can tell a story in a way that makes her feel excited. You can ask her for her number in a way that her feel unsafe and unsure and you can ask for her number in a way that makes desired and appreciated Your actions don’t determine how you make a woman feel. And no, it’s not your haircut, your style, your knowledge or your bank balance. It’s something far simpler… Think about it like this: Which kind of people do you feel most excited and alive around? Is it routine, boring, monotone, safe people or is it exciting people who’re living on their edge and pushing their boundaries? Which kind of people do you feel the most safe and secure around? Is it nervous, anxious, and flighty people or is it calm, confident, and strong people Which kind of people do you feel more connected to? Is it closed off and standoffish people or is it open and expressive people? What you experience determines what the women you’re interacting with feel. What you experience determines whether or not women are attracted to you. You can’t give women the experience of safety and security until you feel safe and secure yourself. You can’t give women the experience of excitement and really living until you feel excited and alive. You can’t give women the experience of freedom and openness until you feel free and open. It’s just that simple. This means that… The Secret to Attracting Women is… …first giving yourself everything you want. It starts with creating a life that’s exciting and challenging, where you feel powerful and strong and open and free and connected to people around you. It starts with challenging your insecurities rather than letting them you challenge you. It starts with moving towards your fears rather than moving away from them. It starts with opening up and sharing yourself rather than closing down and hiding. Becoming the kind of Man that women are naturally and effortlessly attracted to starts by becoming the kind of Man that you want to be. To attract women, you first have to become attractive. And that means becoming attractive to yourself. Now, I’m not saying that pickup artist tricks can’t work. Of course they can. You can learn to hide and conceal and pretend and manipulate and get short term results with gullible women. But if you’ve ever dreamed of getting long-term results with intelligent, self-aware women, then there’s only one way to do it. But how do I do this? This is a good question – because if becoming the kind of Man you’ve always wanted to be was so easy, you would have done it by now. It might surprise you to know that the process is actually relatively straight forward, but to make it straight forward, you first have to know what you’re dealing with. It’s a little more than I can share with you here but if you want to know all the details, you can read all about it in my FREE ebook Seduction Community Sucks. Download your free copy from directly below this post. In it, you’ll learn the one thing that’s stopping you from becoming the kind of Man that women are naturally attracted to and the one thing you need to change to start being that Man. Join over 25,000 subcribersDownload your FREE copy of Seduction Community Sucks now and get in-field videos, subscriber-only articles, and exclusive podcasts delivered directly to your inbox If you're ready to become the kind of Man that attracts confident and in-demand women without trying, then I have a gift to start you on that journey. Seduction Community Sucks is your 159 page kick-start to becoming the kind of Man that makes women go weak at the knees. Get your FREE copy, as well as access to other subscriber-only articles, podcasts, and video footage, now. Get your FREE ebook, hidden articles, in-field videos, and exclusive podcasts here: 44 Responses john August 21, 2011 although it seems familiar (to what you wrote in the past), it’s a golden advice. Will try it tonight. Ps Does this article has something to do with “Foreplay”? Reply LoGun August 21, 2011 Very good question… Yes. It does have something to do with Foreplay. I’m still in the process of developing it but I’m very excited to see what we can achieve with this little baby. L. Reply Mariano August 23, 2011 What are you guys talking about? LoGun August 23, 2011 Foreplay is another workshop that’s I’m putting together. It’s going to involve a lot of live coaching with female coaches and a lot of exercises and practices. If you want to look at it through the pathways that I talk about in Endgame, this would be Creating. And specifically, creating in your relationships with women. Get excited. VERY excited It wont be ready for quite a while yet as I’ve got a lot of other priorities, but it is planned. Keep your eye’s peeled. L. Mariano August 23, 2011 Ooooooh nice Max July 19, 2015 Yes, this article has some real golden nuggets. Reply John Fitipaldi August 25, 2011 I Logun, i really like your things and your materials, but, just one thing, really i cant understand why you destroy the hability of create strongs beliefs..?? Why? Thats a very important thing, in lot of aspects in life, in PNL, in hypnosis, in all…and you with your book SCS destroy the skill and the capacity of believe in any strong some idea.. Why your ebook made guys looks like in a sleep state, and absolutely asexual?? are you the Evil? Are you working really for CIA – mental destruction section? why your primal objetive is become guys in retardars and stupids? And please, public these note, dont be a coward, What could I did for recover my belief hability? I will pay all what you want…have a nice day… Reply LoGun August 25, 2011 Hi John, Thanks for your comment. I’m sorry that you feel so lost but I’m not sure what you’re talking about. If anything, I encourage you to have very strong beliefs. Yes, the ideas in Seduction Community Sucks are designed to help you see the limitation of the ideas of the seduction community, but they’re also designed to help you see that there’s a different and more powerful way to transform your relationships with women. A way that involves taking responsibility for your life, owning who you are, what you stand for, where you want to go, and pursuing that. I don’t want you to be asexual, I want you to be ultra sexual. I don’t understand where you got this idea from. Can you let me know what part of the book led you to the belief that I want you to be like that? Leigh P.S. I can neither confirm nor deny that I work for the CIA but that’s a topic for a later discussion… Reply Andreas August 27, 2011 I can see what he is talking about. I`ve read your SCS from a getting perspective and I felt then what he is feeling now. If John downloads Endgame maybe all becoms much clearer. At least it did for me LoGun August 27, 2011 I agree with you here. If you’ve spent your entire life operating with one end point in mind and then see realise that that endpoint isn’t what you really want, it can leave an emptiness. Lottie April 15, 2014 Dag nabbit good stuff you whanserppippers! Vince August 25, 2011 I agreed with the first half. Then the 2nd half I don’t know if I am getting this right, but it feels like I need to adapt myself constantly? (What happened to being myself?) and keep trying to analyse and think what she needs to make her feel better? Whats the difference between this and “saving” her? a trap lots of ‘nice guys’ fall into? Reply LoGun August 26, 2011 Hey Vince, Great question! I was wondering how long it was going to take before someone asked that. The reason you’re confused here is you’re not making the separation between the end point and the pathway for getting there. The ultimate end point I’m attempting to help you achieve is to become the kind of Man who naturally gives to everyone around him because he’s so happy, fulfilled, and satisfied with his life that he’s able to give completely without asking anything in return. The pathway I’m suggesting you follow is one of being completely selfish and totally internally focused so that you are completely fulfilled and satisfied with your life without her in it. When you reach this place, you can give freely without asking for anything in return. If you try and give before you reach this place, there’s always going to be an element of neediness, wanting to get something back for your giving. The difference between this pathway and ‘saving her’ is if you’re totally fulfilled and happy with your life, you’re probably not going to be attracted to someone who needs saving. I can’t say this as a conclusive statement because I can only speak from personal experience but now I’m on the path of personal fulfillment, women who need saving simply don’t do it for me. I want to fill my life with people who are strong, free, powerful, and moving forward creating the life they want. I don’t want it to be weighed down by people who are only interested in taking from me. Does that answer your question? L. Reply Shyaam August 26, 2011 Simply awesome post! Reply John Fitipaldi August 26, 2011 Helloo! These is the part of your book that make me lose lot of confidence, power in magic and money, because i normaly just create the reality that I wish to want… And I don´t know why the next day when I finish that book all my old ideas dissapear, and my mind become blank… Cap.9 of SCS. WHY DOING AFFIRMATIONS (TO DEVELOP POSITIVE BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF) IS BAD FOR YOUR CONGRUENCE Confidence and positive beliefs are very closely intertwined, but as there’s such a huge emphasis placed on them in the bla,bla,bla,bla,bla and more bla, and my set of believes was absolutely destroyed… Include my sexual tension, again, dont be a coward and publish these comment, have a nice day Agent Logun… Reply LoGun August 26, 2011 Ok, so I think I get it. You had a map of the world that told you that getting power and money was the way to live your life. It was the ‘right’ way to live. Then you read SCS and all of a sudden you see that living that life isn’t going to make you happy fulfilled or satisfied with your life. If this is right, I think I can see what’s going on here. If you’ve spent your entire life chasing money and power, there’s a good chance you’ve been letting other people dictate what you should work towards in life. Now that you’ve read SCS and seen that those things aren’t important, you don’t know what you need to work towards because for the first time, you have to think for yourself. Is that accurate? I’m not trying to put you down or make you feel bad, I’m simply trying to understand what’s happening here. L. Reply Pascal July 9, 2015 Actually I didn’t even read this guy’s question, only your answer here and I’m wondering if i am not in that position exactly. I used to be myself when i was younger, sparky and full if life, i was also arrogant and had an attitude and all if that attracted girls alot. I still get messages from girls telling me how much they wanted me when we where in high school. I grew up, made my career pass in front of everything, had relationshits with two narcissists, and sex here and there with a bunch if women. But since my last relationship i feel like i have no more drive, i lost myself, it took me a while to get back on my feet and i don’t even know if I’m completely recovered from all that emotional turmoil. And now i feel like if i want to atteact a woman i need to show money and power, because i feel empty. I dont know if I’m explaining that the right way but i just feel that it’s the inly thing i can do now. Buy a Mercedez, go to the gym and act like i’m on top of my game. Pitiful.. MT August 27, 2011 Is it common to feel happy and fulfilled yet when seeing a beautiful women, there is still a desire of wanting her as girlfriend, which then traps me in a getting pathway that makes me insecure a needy for that moment? If you know what I am talking about? Reply LoGun August 28, 2011 I don’t know if it’s common but it’s definitely possible. Think back to the work you did in Get Real – what’s the sensation you’re seeking behind your desire to have her as your girlfriend? And what’s a way you can expereince that through the actions you take rather than through the outcome. L. Reply MT August 29, 2011 what’s the sensation you’re seeking behind your desire to have her as your girlfriend? —– How can I describe it? By seeing her everyday, watching her smile, listening to her laughter, feeling the softness of her skin…..It is a sensation of comfort, a rush to the heart feeling fulfilled and loved. I guess that’s the best I can do to put it.. How would I experience that sensation through actions instead of outcomes? I am a bit confused.. Do you mean the action of ‘making love’ with her to experience that sensation vs outcome as ‘She likes me’? Thanks LoGun August 29, 2011 Think back to your Get Real work. The two core desires – which one are you chasing? It sounds to me like you need a refresher… Week 2, I think it’s Friday or Saturday. John Fitipaldi August 28, 2011 I will think your words… again my loved and hated at the same time favorite love guru Reply LoGun August 28, 2011 Wonderful mate. Let me know what you come up with. Reply Maky August 29, 2011 I am totally confused… I mean i dont know what to do, i am trying to establish the confident inner me but still i am seeing no results Reply LoGun August 29, 2011 Ok, so what I’m reading in this is that ‘I’m trying to be more like the kind of guy that I think women will be more attracted to by trying to be more confident. The problem is that no women are attracted to me.’ Is that right? Reply Kit Quiton November 18, 2011 Humans by nature are selfish that is why we tend to think more of our needs rather than our partners. It takes a real men to know the needs of a women and be able to provide and satisfy them. Nice article. Good job man! Reply Dawit December 5, 2011 Just a tip. You should maybe consider mentioning that the book is free because when i read your article, I ignored the link to SCS because I thought it was some sort of product you where trying to sell. Then I realized it was a free E-book, and that turned on my curiosity. Great article, always good to have those kinds of logic and simple but still important tips! Reply Leigh (LoGun) December 5, 2011 Will do mate. Thanks for the heads up. And I’m glad you enjoyed the article. Check out the rest of the site if you want to find more info along the same lines. L. Reply Darren December 7, 2011 I knew a lot of the stuff already, but I actually learned something new thanks. ps. nice blog my friend Reply Ed January 6, 2012 Even though I don’t have a lot of experiences with women I did kind of understand what the main points were about women and why sometimes they can be so complicated. Reply Alex Stevens February 2, 2012 I’m glad you emphasised the point that attraction is simply a feeling. I don’t care what your circumstances, ugly, broke, boring, you can attract hot women. It’s all about knowing 100% in your heart that YOU ARE THE MAN, and you can pull any chick you want even 10/10’s. Once you have this mindset, attracting women will be of ease. Alex Stevens Reply roger February 9, 2012 good very good more at Reply Jon February 9, 2012 hey how do I know what realy want to feel, I can make her feel the way she want if I know it but how can i exactly know it what she realy want to feel? Reply Leigh (LoGun) February 13, 2012 You’ve asked a couple of big questions there. It’s probably more than I can answer here without going into a long conversation. Can you sign up on the forum and post your question there? It’ll be a lot easier to have a productive conversation there. You can access it here: Attraction Institute Forum Reply Mark Maddington August 15, 2012 Not many posts get me interested, however Im going to download the e-book and have a read. All information is good information – It looks interesting anyway. Seduction and attraction can be tricky concepts and you definitely need some inner thinking to get it all worked out in your mind. Reply Stephanie October 10, 2012 This is hilarious I am a woman and the key to getting is to be interested in you is to allow us to see all the foos in you. What makes you attractive that you already have inside. We get hit on all the time we don’t want to be approached by another guy who wants to buy is a drink in hopes of getting laid. All we ask is you are fearless and want to engage in a great coversation and joke around a little and don’t sweat possibilities of rejection. We are humans just like men and when men don’t take the step to engage with us chances are they will miss out. Just thought a female perspective might be nice. GReat job L. Reply Leigh (LoGun) October 10, 2012 Great to hear from a woman on this. Thanks for the feedback. If you’ve got thoughts on anything else on the site, feel free to share it. Leigh Reply Paul January 10, 2013 Words of wisdom and clarity finally on dating. I remember coming out of a 10 year marriage and realised I was no longer the confident man I used to be, in fact I was no longer me. I started down the David De track and it was a good primer, I also enjoyed many of his dating gurus. When I read all the different ways guys were attracting women… it dawned on me. ‘shit! I’ve done that” A bit of an aha moment. I never had trouble meeting and attracting women before I got married. Perhaps I didn’t qualify enough but what the heck, I probably didn’t know what I wanted anyway…lol So now I’m feeling more and more like my old self but more like a new self. My confidence is back because I’m no longer focussed on me. I focus on making women laugh & smile, I’m genuinely interested in them and find it easy to create rapport with… anyone, male or female. You’ll attract a woman, as a by product of being who you are, for real. If you’re not attracting any women, perhaps you’re not interesting enough or think highly enough of yourself (not in an ego way). It also helps to be interested enough to learn the arts of seduction your woman deserves the best. Go for the women who you feel attracted to on many levels. Some of the coolest women I’ve ever dated were way under what guys would consider 10. I never gauge a woman on her looks alone, if you do, your are missing out on some beautiful women out there. Looks and body parts are over rated. A Woman last week asked me (before we met up), Her: What type of breasts do you like? Me: Depends who they are on (this is true for me) Her: Now come on, don’t you like big boobs, most guys do! Me: Well, I do feel for women with large boobs, all that extra weight and back problems Her: What would you call large boobs? Me: …..You know, bigger than 12D Her: Well I’m sorry, you miss out, I’m 12F Me:.. (laughing by now) Let’s not quibble about a few millimetres I’ve been dating online since 2003 PS I like that left brain right brain analogy its really opened my mind to being aware of ‘whats’ in control of me at any one time. Great stuff, dialling it in this weekend. Reply Leigh (LoGun) January 12, 2013 That’s awesome mate. Good to hear you connect with it. Have fun and let us know how you go. Reply Paul January 23, 2013 The date went well and I’m glad I qualified this woman a bit more as I decided not to continue with her. She said had I played my cards better I could have shagged her.. awe.. who cares. Now I’m dating an absolutely gorgeous artist. Things are going great, a little too good in fact… lol I have to keep in mind your great advice, not to make a woman more important than your life. I probably pickup your book so I can reheat some of those great mindsets on being a man. So easy to fall back into old ways. Leigh (LoGun) January 23, 2013 Beautiful to hear mate. Keep up the good work. And yeah, you’re right. I still find it easy to slip back into old habits and have ot keep reminding myself of the basics. It’s a never ending game but it’s also the most rewarding game you’ll ever play. Good luck, Leigh ez_attraction January 23, 2013 I do agree that some of the advice out there about attracting women can seem overly complicated and over the top. I try to tell guys to start with making themselves more ‘attractive’ people in the first place. In other words, I tell guys to work on developing themselves and trying to improve their own lives so that they can become more ‘attractive’ to women. Reply how to meet a girl February 14, 2013 Greate pieces. Keep posting such kind of information on your blog. Im really impressed by it. Hey there, You have done a great job. I’ll certainly digg it and for my part suggest to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited from this web site. Reply Morten Olesen April 18, 2013 Great post about this subject. Taking action and believe in yourself is the best thing really, because if you try things and fail you learned a valuable lesson and you are one step closer to becoming successful Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Name* Email* Website Comment Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.