——————

NOTE: I’ve left the ‘how to make the transformation’ part out of the end because I’m having difficulty putting together a useful guide in anything under 50,000 words. I’ll update you with the second half as soon as it’s ready.

——————

Here it is! The one I’ve been promising for a while now.

This article was originally titled ‘Do looks matter?’ but that didn’t last very long.

Why? Because after spending 3 days trying to write it, I realised it was a completely redundant article.

Of course your looks matter.

Whether or not a woman finds you physically attractive has a HUGE impact on whether or not she wants to talk to you / flirt with you / give you her number / date you / sleep with you so writing that article felt like a MASSIVE waste of both your time and mine.

So, instead of writing 6000 words on something that’s already a forgone conclusion, I’ve decided to write 6000 on something FAR more useful.

Enjoy.

(And as you can probably guess, this has the usual AI twist in it).

NOTE: In this article, I refer to ‘what women want’ a lot. When I do, I’m not talking about all women. That would be dumb. I’m talking about the kind of woman – the confident, feminine, and real woman – that I want in my life. Yes, there are other women out there who’re shallow, needy, and only value superficial looks, money, and cars but as that’s not the kind of woman I want in my life and I’m assuming that’s not the kind of woman you want in yours, I’m not going to waste time talking about them.

 

How To Be Better Looking

 

There’s a common belief that in order for women to find you attractive, you need to be blessed with the perfect blend of height, heritage (ie. non-Asian), eyes colour, hair colour, facial structure, and build.

This, to put it simply, is wrong.

If you haven’t had swarms of beautiful women paying money to lick honey off your bare chest and you know you don’t look like Brad Pitt, then it’s easy to blame your looks.

But are Brad Pitts genes responsible for him being the Hollywood heart throb he is today?

This photo says: Yes

How to be good looking

But this video says something else altogether.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5ynoStZsnw
(Can’t embed this one)

Same looks, same genes, yet how many stunning women do you think would be lining up to bear that guys children?

Edward Norton is another good looking, Hollywood A-List celebrity.

how to be better looking

But how many A-List celebrities would be fantasising about bearing this guys children?

What about this guy?

how can I be better looking

And how many women are lining up to bang him during this?

I think you’ve seen enough now to get the message:

there’s far more to physical attraction than the chromosomes your mum and your dad were nice enough to pass down to you.

But what is this more? To understand that, there’s something else you need to know.

 

What Women See

 

I have a secret to tell you – you don’t actually live inside the internet. I know this might be shocking but you’re not currently inside a computer. There’s more to you than the 2 dimensional avatar you attach to your forum profile.

Why am I telling you this? Because it’s important.

Women don’t just see the socially acceptable, confident and exciting front plastered your Facebook page. Women see the dynamic and interactive version of you. They see the emotions that scroll across your face as the world around you shifts and changes, and they see the way you react when those emotions register.

Women see your confidence, your fear, your anxiety, your happiness, your reactions to confrontation, your experience of challenge, they see everything about you. They read beyond the surface and see exactly how you experience, engage, and interact with the world around you.

And all this goes into how ‘good looking’ they find you.

Are you saying Women are all mind readers?

No. I’m saying that feminine women have far more space in their brain dedicated to communication than masculine Men. This means that they’re able to read your non-verbal communication with far more ease and simplicity than you can read theirs.

I’m not saying they get it right every time, but they do get a very fast and very comprehensive picture of what kind of Man you are, far before you’ve opened your mouth.

Obviously, this is a MUCH larger topic than can be covered in one blog post but if you want to get more information on it, here’s what you can do.

If you want to understand more about the snap judgements and reads we make about people, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell is an amazing exploration about the snap judgements that we all make and how the impact they have on our lives.

Read more about Blink here.

If you want to understand more about female brain structure and the underlying developmental patterns that govern the growth of the non-verbal communication centres, check out Endgame by Me. This brain development section is crucial for understanding the basis of attraction and how you can attract more women.

Learn more about Endgame here.

 

What does this mean for you and for becoming better looking?

 

If all that women every saw of you was a flat, 2 dimensional, posed photo of your face and hair, then your genetic makeup would determine how physically attractive you are because that’s all they would ever know of you.

But, as you exist in 3 dimensions, in the real world, where you’re more than just a floating head in space, your genetics only determine part in how attractive women find you.

That’s right – for all you guys who’ve been whinging about how your genetics have let you down and how it’s not your fault, I’m about to spoil that for you.

Because you’re more than a floating avatar, there are actually three major contributing factors to your ‘looks’ and whether or not women find you attractive. They are:

 

1. Your genes

Your genes are the genetic building blocks handed down to you by your mother and father. They determine everything from face structure to eye colour to finger length.

This is usually the first thing that women will notice about you, simply because it’s the most obvious element. Your hair colour, your eye colour, your ethnicity and your height are the easiest and simplest ways to differentiate people because they’re on the surface.

Why is this important? I’m sure you could explain this through some kind of evolutionary psychology phenomena or something similar but I like to make it simple.

It’s important because just like you, women like to look at nice looking things.

 

2. Your presentation

Your presentation is the way you dress up the genes that were handed to you by your mother and father. Your presentation is your haircut, your muscle-to-fat-to-height-to-weight ratio, how you dress, your personal hygiene, etc… It’s how you package your genes and the nice, neat bow you wrap them in.

This is usually a pretty close second (or even first some of the time) on the list of things that women notice about you. Why? Because it’s an easy way to differentiate people. Humans are lazy, we’re always looking for short cuts. This is one of those short cuts.

Why is this important? Just like above, I’m sure there is some deep rooted, neuro-chemical explanation for this but once again, I like to keep it simple.

It’s important because just like you, women like to look at nice looking things.

 

3. Your experience

And finally… Number 3. This is the single MOST overlooked element that determines how attractive you appear to women.

Your experience, put simply, is how you feel.

It’s how confident, strong, powerful, and connected, or insecure, powerless, weak, and alone you feel.

Why is this important? Because attraction is a feeling.

Women are attracted to Men who make them feel the way they want to feel – safe, secure, sexy, appreciated, challenged, and excited. You can’t make a woman feel safe and secure unless you feel safe and secure. You can’t make a woman feel excited unless you’re comfortable chasing excitement yourself.

(This is obviously a brief explanation. If you want to get a full run down of what women are looking for, the underlying neurological mechanism that determines this, how that mechanism works, and why it works, check out Endgame.)

Because of the 3 dimensional world you and the beautiful women you want to attract exist in, all these three elements interact with each other.

For example:

You’re genes determine the size of your ears, your haircut determines how noticeable your ears are, and your experience determines the whether you carry them with confidence and strength or whether you carry them as a burden.

Your genes determine (to a certain extent) your build, your clothes determine the areas of that build you accentuate, and your experience determines whether you move with power and grace or you struggle along with shame and remorse.

 

Which one of the three factors plays the biggest role in how attractive you are to women?

 

Without thinking about it, most people would say ‘genes’ without skipping a beat. But from the videos above, you know that’s not true. So what is it?

What’s the difference between the photo of Brad Pitt and the video of Brad Pitt?

Is it his genes? No. It can’t be. He’s the same person.

Is it his presentation? Yes, definitely. He’s wearing different clothes and has a different hair cut.

Is it his experience? Without a doubt. Look at the photo, what do you think he’s experiencing when that photo was taken? What do you think his experience of life was at that point in time?

And how is that different from what he’s experiencing in the video?

But which one is MORE important out of presentation and experience?

If it was presentation, it would be very difficult to be considered good looking in doctors scrubs.

If it was experience, it would be very difficult to be considered good looking whilst being a stark, raving, mad, lunatic.

Which one do you think is more important?

Can’t work it out?

Try the same questions with Edward Norton.

And once you’re done, try them again with Sean Penn.

STILL can’t work it out? Try this:

Imagine yourself standing in a bar packed with beautiful women. As you’re making your way from the bar with your drink in your hand, your eyes scan to the entrance where three guys have just swaggered into the room.

Which one do you think is going to have the most success with women?

Guy 1 looks like the love child of Kate Upton and George Clooney. When he popped out, angels started to weep for his beauty. Whilst Guy 1 doesn’t have bad fashion sense, he obviously hasn’t been worked on by an A-List Hollywood stylist.

Guy 2 wasn’t born with the same genetic miracles that Guy 1 was, but wow, this guy can dress. He knows what he’s got and how knows how to dress it up so that it sparkles and shines like the sun.

Guy 3 is different. He doesn’t have the same superior genetic code of Guy 1 and he can’t dress it up like Guy 2. He’s what you’d call ‘average’ in every way possible. An average haircut frames his average looking face and his average clothes hang averagely from his average frame.

Which one do you think is going to attract more women? Which one is going to have hordes of feminine beauty begging to be taken and ravished as ‘Last drinks’ are yelled out from behind the bar?

The logical answer is to pick Guy 1. The hot guy in the room always wins, right?

Well… It’s actually impossible to tell because I’ve only given you two (genes and presentation) of the three factors that determine how good looking women find you.

So here’s the third: experience.

Guy 1 perceives the world as a battle ground. In order to feel secure, safe, and certain, he needs to increase his status and put himself above those around him. A mindset left over from growing up in the hyper competitive modelling industry.

The drive and determination to win at all costs that was instilled in him as a child has given him a proactive and empowered take on this perspective but also makes him incredibly volatile.

Whilst things are going well, he’s happy, calm, and cool. But as soon as he feels like someone is challenging or threatening him, it quickly flashes to volatile and destructive. He’s prone to throwing tantrums as soon as it looks like things aren’t going to go his way.

If he perceives a woman as being lower status than him, he can come off as charming and fun but as soon as he thinks she could be higher status than him, things fall apart. He gets nervous, needy, and jittery.

Guy 2 is a different kettle of fish. But not completely different. Whilst he can dress to impress and turn on the charm, he still perceives the world as a battle ground. The difference between Guy 1 and Guy 2 is that instead of fighting for status and power, Guy 2 is battling against the forces of rejection and isolation.

Once again, he has a proactive attitude and has become reasonably effective and eliciting positive responses from drunk and gullible women but anyone of real substance sees through his charade.

As Guy 2 is only able to trick the women he’s not really interested in, he carries around a lingering sense of loneliness and desperation that grows with each failed attempt to find the kind of women he truly desires.

This comes through when he’s talking to women. Most women don’t see it because by the time he’s built up the courage to talk to them, they’re too drunk to really pay attention to what’s going on, but any woman who’s got her wits about her can smell it straight away.

Guy 3 is different. And this time, it’s a real difference. For Guy 3, the world isn’t a battle ground where he has to get his status above that of other people and he doesn’t have to trick people into wanting to connect with him. For Guy 3, the world is opportunity after opportunity to create the world he desires.

Because Guy 3 has realised that the world is in his hands and he’s tasted just how incredible life can be, he has an internal drive to take on any challenges that come his way. This drive, combined with the skill to create the experience he desires, regardless of how the world responds to him gives him an unshakable inner confidence that shines through in everything he does.

This inner confidence is particularly noticeable in his interactions with women. He talks to whichever woman he wants and most of the time, won’t bother talking to a woman unless he feels slightly intimidated or nervous. When he’s talking to her, there’s no hint of pretence of fakeness because there’s nothing in his life he has to hide. Because there’s nothing to hide, he’s not stuck in his head trying to be someone he’s not or remember what steps he needs to follow. He doesn’t need to get anything from her as his life is internally fulfilling and rewarding and so can just share the happiness and satisfaction that he has with her.

As he’s proven to himself, over and over again, that he can take on challenges and overcome them with ease, he’s started to look for more challenges in his life – especially in his relationships with women. He thrives on playing with the tough women than would drive most men insane. He plays with them, pushes their buttons, doesn’t take any of their shit, and loves nothing more than when they push back.

(For those who’ve read Endgame, yes, these do correlate with the levels of consciousness)

Now that you have all the information, it’s time to answer the question again:

Which guy do you think would have more success with real, confident, feminine women?

Which one do you think is going to make women feel safe, secure, loved and appreciated?

Which one do you think is going to make women feel sexy and excited?

Think about it.

Am I trying to tell you that genes aren’t important?

I’m not in any way suggesting that your genes aren’t important. If you were born with one eye on the back of your head and your nose inside your mouth, you’re going to have a hard time attracting women. I’m sorry, btu that’s just the way it is.

What I am suggesting is that all your genes do is set your base. They set the groundwork that everything else is built upon.

A guy with good genes, average presentation, and a negative perception, attitude, and experience will appear FAR less attractive than a guy with average genes average presentation and a powerful perception, attitude, and experience.

 

“This is all very interesting but what does this mean for me?”

 

It means two VERY important points:

1. How good looking a woman perceives you to be isn’t set in stone because you were handed an average set of genes.

2. Yes, you can try and change our genes and you can change your presentation to be considered better looking but the most effective and powerful way is to change how you feel and what you experience around beautiful women

 

How To Be Better Looking

 

Now, onto the fun stuff.

 

Step 1: Get plastic surgery

No. I’m kidding.

I just put it in there because I know some guys are thinking this. This is actually the LEAST productive way of becoming better looking.

Can you guess why?

If you get plastic surgery to make yourself more attractive to women, what are you doing? You’re changing yourself in the hope that women like you more.

Sounds logical, right?

It does until you consider this: Do you really think that strong, beautiful, confident, radiant, in-demand women want a guy who changes himself just so that they’re going to be more attractive to her?

Think about it.

AND… Even worse, if you DO manage to get more success with women through getting plastic surgery, what basic idea are you reinforcing in your head?

That the only way to get people to hang around with you is to change the superficial parts of yourself.

Does that sound productive?

Does that sound like it’s going to help you become the powerful, internally validated, confident Man that confident women want?

Think about it.

 

Step 2: Change your presentation

Whilst this might seem like a simple topic to deal with on the surface, there’s a lot more going on underneath the surface.

So, all I’m going to say right now is that there are many people, FAR more qualified than me to give you advice on this. (My wardrobe consists of a few promotional t-shirts, one pair of jeans, two pairs of shorts, and a few promotional hoodies and I haven’t had a hair cut in 6 months.)

As changing your presentation is something I’m not very interested in at all, I don’t have any good links for it. If anyone reading this knows of any great sites that are in line with the AI philosophy, please post their links below in the comments.

 

Step 3: Changing your experience.

THIS is what really matters. THIS is the real shit.

If you can become strong, powerful, and exciting, and radiate the confidence and charm that comes with that internal strength and excitement, then women are going to find you far more attractive.

But how… How do you do this?

Your experience of life is made up of two separate elements: your perception and your attitude.

Your perception of the world is the framework you view your reality through. It’s whether you view it as scary and confronting or challenging and exciting or loving and accepting. It’s the paradigm you put around the events and actions that happen around you.

Your attitude is the way you engage the world as you perceive it. If you view it as scary and confronting, do you take on that fear and confrontation or do you sit back and let it determine how you live our life? If you perceive it challenging and exciting, do you step up and take on those challenges or do you back away? If you perceive it as loving and accepting, do you embrace the love and surrender to it or do you close yourself down and hide from it?

The way to change your experience of life is to first change your perception and attitude.

So lets start with that.

But, before I get onto ‘how’ to change your perception and attitude, you first need to know the different kinds of perception and attitude.

 

Two kinds of perception

 

There are lots of different perceptions of the world we could cover here but there’s not much point. Why? Because in the end, they all boil back down to one common core:

 

Who is responsible for your experience of life?

 

Who do you perceive is responsible for how you feel and what you experience?

Who do you perceive is responsible for how satisfying, fulfilling and rewarding your life is?

Who do you perceive is responsible for how free, connected, and powerful you feel?

This question can be answered from two different perspectives:

Are you responsible for your experience of life or is someone or something outside of yourself responsible?

Is it your fault that you feel powerless when you see a beautiful woman or is it your parents fault for the way you were brought up?

Is it your fault you feel alone despite the fact that you’re surrounded by thousands of people on every side or is it other peoples fault for rejecting you?

Is it your fault that you hold back and restrict yourself is it the fear and anxiety that makes you do it?

Is it your fault that your life isn’t fulfilling and rewarding or is the media’s influence on you to blame?

Now, there’s no ‘correct’ answer to either of these, but the answer you choose does play a massive role in determining your experience of life.

Let me explain:

In any problem you face in life, there are going to be two elements:

1. The external factors that contributed to the situation (people, outcomes, events, weather, etc…)
2. The internal factors that contributed to the situation (your decisions, beliefs, and mental filters)

Where you choose to direct your attention determines how in-control and powerful you will feel in your life.

If you focus on the external factors, then you will see yourself as a victim of the external environment and the BEST you can EVER hope to do is manage the problems that the world throws at you. You will never be completely in-control or capable of experiencing the confidence and passion and certainty you desire because there will always be a possibility of more problems around the corner.

If it’s your anxieties fault that you can’t approach and your anxiety is created by what other people think of you, then there’s nothing you can ever do to eliminate it. You’ll forever be the victim of your anxiety and be powerless when it comes up.

If it’s women’s fault that you feel lonely then you will be forever be powerless to change anything. You will forever be a victim of their opinions and never get to experience the connection you desire.

But, if you simply focus on what you contribute in any situation, then you will see yourself as the creator of your life and have the capacity to recreate your life in any way you want. Instead of having to deal with all the problems the external world throws at you, you’ll be able to eliminate the problems from the core (you) and then never have to worry with them again. You’ll be confident, strong, and free.

If you acknowledge that anxiety doesn’t actually stop you approaching women, and that the only thing that prevents you from taking action is the choices you make when you experience anxiety, then you can learn to make new choices and be able to approach regardless of the anxiety.

(If you currently blame your anxiety for your inability to approach, check out Approach Anxiety Annihilation that comes as a bonus with Endgame. It’s specifically designed to help you make this flip over to being able to approach, regardless of the anxiety you experience)

If you acknowledge that women aren’t to blame for your loneliness and that it’s actually the way you’ve been trying to experience communication that’s the problem, then you’ll be able to find a real and powerful, long term solution to this issue.

(If you currently feel lonely and are looking for a way to deal with it in a way that puts you in control, check out this article. It has the scientific formula for connection and will show you exactly why you haven’t been building deep connections with women and what you can change so it becomes second nature.)

For example:

If you walk up to a woman and she tells you to get lost, then there are both internal and external factors at play here.

The external factors are: Her feelings, her emotions, the events that have occurred throughout the day, her past experiences with guys, etc…

The internal factors are: You approached her, you didn’t notice her mood when you walked up, how you present yourself, how you feel, etc…

You COULD just focus on all the external factors.

You COULD just turn around and blame her for being a bitch. You COULD just say “It’s rude to talk to people like that”. You COULD just blame the media for you being a needy nice guy.

You could just keep running into the same problems over and over and over again and experiencing the powerlessness that comes with not being able to eliminate a problem.

Or….

You COULD just focus on everything you contributed.

You COULD learn to pay more attention to how a woman is feeling before you approach. You COULD learn to deal with your neediness so that it’s not an influencing factor. You COULD acknowledge that you being a nice guy is a decision you’re making and learn to make a new decision.

You could eliminate the real core of the problem and experience the power and confidence that come from knowing that you’re in control.

NOTE: I’m not saying that you can guarantee that no woman will ever be bitchy to you again. I’m saying that you could eliminate all the issues that you contribute to women being bitchy to you and eliminate the possibility of missing out on meeting the woman of your dreams because of your neediness / clinginess / dependency.

Which perception is going to empower you more?

Which perception is going to help you become strong, confident, and powerful?

 

Two kinds of attitude

 

Just like perception, there are hundreds of different attitudes we could discuss and just like perception, it’s pointless because they all boil down to one common core:

 

What are you going to do about it?

 

Are you going to sit on the sidelines and wait for things to drop in your lap?

Are you going to wait in your room hoping that someone calls you?

Are you going to hold your hand out and wait for someone to place your happiness and fulfilment in it?

Or…

Are you going to stand up and take control?

Are you going to get out in the real world and go after what you want?

Are you going to put your hand down and get to work building the life you desire?

There’s no ‘correct’ answer to this question but the one you choose has a HUGE impact on your experience of life and therefore, how attractive women find you.

If you have the attitude that things should be given to you by the world around you, then you’re going to face all the challenges and problems that come from having to wait for things to land in your lap.

You’re only going to experience deep connections with people who are willing to open up and be real with you, despite you being closed off.

You’re only going to feel in control and powerful when everything works out exactly the way you want it to work out.

The other 99% of the time, when the world around you doesn’t happen to exactly match your image of perfection and people aren’t as open and obliging as you want them to be, you’re going to feel frustrated and powerless.

But…

If you have the attitude that you’re going to do what it takes to create the life you want, regardless of what’s going on around you, then things are going to be very different.

Your openness and willingness to share with other people will give them the space and courage to share and you’ll be able to experience the depth of connection that they’re willing to follow you to rather than being stuck waiting for them to make you feel like it’s ok to open up.

Your determination and drive to create the world you mean you’re taking action and pushing through your fears and barriers every day. This constant progression towards the life you want combined with constantly proving to yourself that you can do whatever you want, regardless of how scary it is, means you’ll feel powerful and in control.

Sure, things aren’t always going to go your way, and sure, people aren’t going to always want to open up to you, but your attitude of personal responsibility and your drive to continue to move forward will give you the ability to keep going to find what you desire.

 

Perception, Attitude, and Experience

 

As I said before, your perception and attitude combine to create your experience.

Here’s a general breakdown of the 2 perceptions and 2 attitudes and how the kind of experience they generally create.

1. If you perceive that you’re not responsible for your life or life situation and your attitude is to wait for someone to give you what you want, then your experience is going to be disempowered, lonely, and restricted.

You’ll feel like a victim of your life circumstance and unable to change things because the world hasn’t handed you what you want.

How good looking do you think you’ll be with this experience?

2. If you perceive that you are responsible for your life situation and your attitude is to wait for the world to hand you what you want, then your experience will be empowered but empty at the same time.

You’ll feel in control of your life but because you’re waiting for the world to give you what you want, you won’t experience the richness that you’re looking for.

How good looking do you think you’ll be with this experience?

3. If you perceive that you’re not responsible for your life situation but you have the attitude that you’re going to go out and take what you want, then your experience will swing wildly from empowerment to frustration to anger to superiority to inferiority.

How good looking do you think you’ll be with this?

4. If you perceive that you’re responsible for your life situation and you have the attitude that you’re going to create the life you want, regardless of what’s going on around you, then your experience will be empowerment, fulfilment, connection, and confidence.

You’ll feel in control of your life because you know it’s all in your hands, you’ll experience fulfilment because you’re moving towards an internally rewarding future, and you’ll experience connection, and because you’ve proven that you can create every experience you want, you’ll experience the confidence that comes from being the complete master of your reality.

How good looking do you think you’ll be with this?

 

How this played out in my life

 

When I first decided to get this whole ‘meeting women’ this handled, I was a total nice guy. I’m not afraid to admit that I was a total pussy. My perception was that I was in control but my attitude was to wait for things to fall into my lap rather than proactively creating them.

This left me feeling alone and whilst I had an empowering mindset, because I didn’t actually take action, I felt powerless and scared.

This resulted in me approaching women like this:

Please don't hurt me

Definitely not a winning attitude.

This lead to me getting rejected left, right, and center and I progressed to this:

ouch

Then, someone told me that the best way to be interesting, was to appear interested in women.

This set of a lightbulb in my head and I got straight into it, resulting in this:

please tell me more

This was slightly better because now I was talking to women, but they still weren’t attracted to me.

I tried and tried and tried some more and after getting rejected over and over again, I ended up like this:

please

Which often resulted in this:

please don't hurt me

This obviously wasn’t working so I tried a different tactic:

And after getting rejected once again, it turned into this:

But this was where the big change happened. Instead of turning that anger outwards, I turned it inwards. I got really annoyed with myself ans realised that I had to change.

It wasn’t a quick process and it wasn’t simple but slowly and surely, I started to make a difference to my life.

And after dedicating myself taking control and becoming the kind of Man I always knew I could, regardless of what was going on around me, things changed to this:

And even this:

 

Why am I showing you all this?

 

No, it’s not because I’m a raging ego maniac that likes to see his face plastered everywhere.

Every single one of these photos has the same genes and the same presentation. The only difference is the experience.

And as that expereince changes, so does how ‘good looking’ I am.

And, before you run off and say “But you’ve got good genes, it’s different for you”, keep in mind that I didn’t kiss my first woman till I was 21.

 

“But this doesn’t apply to me, I’m too ugly / my ears are too big / I’m Asian / I have a big nose. I’ll never be as attractive as Brad Pitt.”

You know what? You’re probably right. You’ll probably never be rated as physically attractive as a guy who’s been voted into the ‘hottest Men of…’ more times than I can count.

But so what?

You don’t need to be Brad Pitt to find the woman of your dreams. You don’t need to be George Clooney to attract a confident, interesting, loving, feminine woman.

Yes, life would be easier if you did look like some kind of male model, chiselled from stone and polished into the image of perfection. But it’s not necessary.

Does that mean you have to do more work than Ryan Gosling to have women find you attractive?

Maybe.

Does that mean you’ll never get there?

Only if you think it will.

I know one guy who’s considered FAR more attractive than 90% of Men I’ve ever seen and he has HUGE nose. ENORMOUS nose. It almost looks like a practical joke.

And yet women are cueing up to curl up next to him at night.

His secret? He flaunts it. He owns it. He wears it boldly and proudly. He’s stopped basing his sense of self worth on the size of his physical characteristics and he’s created a rich and rewarding life despite them.

What’s the difference between you and him? Why couldn’t this be you?

No, it’s got nothing to do with your genes.

 

 In Conclusion

 

There are three major elements that determine how ‘good looking’ you are to women: your genes, your presentation, and your experience.

Whilst genes and presentation are important, the one that makes the real difference is your expereince.

Are you strong, confident, powerful, and free or restricted, insecure, needy, and dependent?

If you want to become better looking, you need to change your experience around attractive women.

The way you change your experience is by changing your perception and attitude.

As this post just cracked 6000 words, that will be the subject of the next blog post so keep your eyes on the blog.

 

 

Leigh

 

P.S. If you’ve gotten value out of this or know someone who blames their looks for their lack of success, don’t forget to like, +1 or tweet this >>>>>>>>

 

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20 Responses

  1. Jammer

    The common thread in the “community” is to brush up on PRESENTATION, and that experience will take care of itself. The material I look at and dish out focuses on changing from the inside, with how we are EXPERIENCING the present moment.

    I knew you were Postmasculine influenced or vice versa when I read this: “So, all I’m going to say right now is that there are many people, FAR more qualified than me to give you advice on this. (My wardrobe consists of a few promotional t-shirts, one pair of jeans, two pairs of shorts, and a few promotional hoodies and I haven’t had a hair cut in 6 months.)” – makes ol’ Mark Manson’s wardrobe look like Brad Pitt’s and mine like the Master of Disguise’s.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      I completely agree mate. The PUA community is very heavily focussed on presentation but really miss the underlying layers.

      I haven’t read much of Marks stuff but I’m definitely aware of his ideas. I’ll have to check it out more.

      L.

      Reply
  2. Severance

    This article can be summarised by a simple concept, I think.
    If you are Brad Pitt, you get adored for your look, but this is not the way to find the right girls.
    With Brad Pitt appearance you can work as an actor, but the right mindset lead you to the goal DESPITE your genetical base, as you are creating productive interactions that define who you REALLY are, not what appearance can suggest.In fact, is also breaking someone else’s conditionings…
    …I’m right?

    Reply
  3. Notachode

    As far as presentation goes, practice proper hygiene and try to wear clean clothes. I mean if you are coming back from construction work and see a woman you like and approach her, she should understand. But you shouldn’t go around smelling like crap and looking like crap. Won’t help you at all. Good article

    Reply
  4. Bart

    The examples of Guy 1 & 2 in the bar will both receive IOI’s from women in the bar, but those 2 guys will most likely not be receptive to them & thus, fail to acknowledge them. It won’t matter for guy 3 if he gets IOI’s or not, because he’s going around giving good vibes and value to people, therefore that will make him a high value and an approachable person whom girls love to just be in the presence of.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      I’m glad to see you connected with it mate. I was worried guys were going to miss the simplicity of the article but it seems like you got it.

      Reply
  5. Balance

    This is what is needed to be taught in school. Guys should be TAUGHT that they are Men AND HAVE CONTROL OF THEIR LIFE. Simple.
    I’ll make sure any Man who is willing to listen will know this!
    I’m tired of suspense and I’m tired of the lies!
    I noticed within myself how dishonest I can be… About my day, goals, feelings, etc.
    Better to notice now!
    Men of the Attraction Institute, find out what you REALLY want out of this life! Look at yourself. Pause and look at yourself in the mirror.
    WHAT KIND OF MAN DO YOU WANT TO BE? – Logun

    Reply
  6. Kapil

    well i do agree with most of the contents in this article, only i have a question, that here, guys 1 & 2 were assumed to be strikingly handsome and having a tremendous fashion sense respectively, and guy 3 was supposed to have average looks, but what if guy 3 had looks below average or in plain words ugly(i don’t mean having an eye at the back and nose inside his mouth though!), his personality being unchanged, would he get the same kind of response from women in that case? after all, the first impression we get about a person comes from his/her face, and if it makes us interested, then only do we try to connect with that person or going to a date with him/her.assuming guy 3 has got a great personality, if no women are interested to connect with him, how is his personality going to help him?

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Of course, this is entirely theoretical, so it’s really hard to say. But even if he is genetically challenged, he can still improve the hand that was dealt to him by changing his expereince around women.

      How far can he go? Can he attract his ’10′? To be honest, I don’t know. And I can never know. All I can ever do is make guesses.

      I think the better question here is: are we talking theory or are we talking about you?

      Do you think you’re this hypothetical below average ‘guy 3′?

      Reply
      • Kapil

        no i would like to put myself in the average category, but i have got a few friends who according to me fall in the below average category, who atleast i feel are pretty much confident and also seem to have a good personality, but not many women seem to be attracted to them.

      • Leigh (LoGun)

        Ok, I just thought I’d see if it was you.

        In my expereince, some of the guys I know who are the best with women, are also fairly average when it comes to looks (genes). What they really excel at is presentation and expereince. I’ve never met a guy I would consider ‘below average’ that couldn’t be transformed into an attractive guy by working on presentation and experience, but then again, I don’t know your mates.

  7. vivek

    I am currently working on the get real program, so i consider this guy up there as my God.( too much expression!!)
    But , i guess everyone doing the program might have same feelings.
    As i am progressing thru the program, i am getting close to my goal of being free & powerful around people . This feels great.
    I guess its on similar lines of this article.

    And …The expressions are awesomely hilarious Leigh, you should try acting as well.:)

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Thank you for the kind words my friend. It’s the first time I’ve been referred to as a god and I think more people should start doing it :-)

      Great to hear you’re seeing so much change through Get Real. You’ve been going at it for a while now so it’s really good to see that your dedication is paying off.

      Reply

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