What is it that makes picking up women hard?

Is it really that hard go pick up women? Or do we just make it out to ourselves that it is?

After the dating gurus promised to turn pickup into a “simple science”, we saw an influx of product, after product, after product…

…offering one “step-by-step seduction method” after another.

What actually happened was the evolution of these “seduction methods” into a convoluted maze of steps, signs, PUA routines and techniques.

And all to be mentally masturbated over, as one PUA lair member slugged it out with countless “RAFCs” in “theory wars”.

How about we filter this whole pick-up science down into its simplest, most concentrated concept, and work from there.

What IS “picking up” a woman?

It’s the phenomenon where you approach a woman, she likes what she sees/hears/experiences…

…and you end up “hooking up” with that woman in some way (in a way of a one night stand, short-term fling, long-term relationship, marriage with kids etc).

So what’s physically involved in carrying out these steps of picking up a woman?

- Walking over to her and her friends
- Opening the mouth and saying stuff
- Hearing what she has to say
- And communicating what we’d like to do.

Physical steps of picking up a woman seem simple enough, eh?

So why can picking up women often be so hard?

For starters, we let our minds get in the way with “what if…?”, and “I’m scared”, and “I’m not in state”…

…all of which are excuses that irrelevant, in the greater scheme of things. But in that very moment they are OH SO REAL.

Try this on as an exercise…

When you’re out, picking up women, sarging, hanging out … (whatever is your thing) … when you see that woman who you want to approach…

You may feel a pang of anxiety at the thought of picking her up.

That is OK, and it’s normal.

Most guys will at this point try to lock down on that anxiety. They’ll try to suppress it, by either ignoring it, or blocking it out.

And they’ll talk to the woman, trying to “act normal”, while doing their best to keep a lid on their nerves. This usually results in what seduction community labels as “uncalibration” or, from a woman’s perspective…

“That guy is weird.”

Instead of doing that, I suggest you try this: bring your awareness to your anxiety. Feel your nerves. BE with your nerves. What do your nerves feel like? Where in your body do you feel your nerves?

Become curious about your experience.

Do it more than once. Make it a habit. Whenever you’re in a situation which ’causes’ you nerves – rather than trying to suppress them, feel INTO them.

What you should find is that once you develop your relationship with your nerves, you’ll be able to act IN SPITE of them, rather than being dominated by them.

I’m sorry if you’re a bit disappointed I didn’t just give you a “magic pill”.

I’m sure by now you realise that those don’t exist.

But by putting in a little bit of effort you’ll be able to experience profound improvements in your life…

…in your ability to be the master of your emotions (rather than a slave to them), AND, of course, your ability to pick up women.

Let me know how you go with this exercise.

 

Jonathon

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