It’s time to say goodbye

There are moments in your life when the reality of your existence and the inevitability of choice stares you square in the face.

These are the moments where you have to make the tough decisions.

Today, I made mine.

Let me explain:

The Attraction Institute philosophy contains many different ideas, angles, and parts. But when you strip all of them back to the bare basics, there is one message at the core:

Find your sense of fulfilment, significance, freedom and connection through the way you live your life, not through the way the world responds to the way you live your life.

This idea, regardless of how accurately or completely it was articulated, has been present right from day one.

The way to stop caring what other people think, to stop being needy, to stop striving for acceptance from those who have no desire or interest in giving it to you, is to fulfill your desires from the inside out.

It really is that simple.

This is what I’ve spent the last 7 years teaching and 10 years practising. This has been my life and my life’s work.

Of course, it wasn’t always this way. I still remember the pain of being denied the acceptance I craved and feeling trapped when the permission I needed to be free was withheld by the people I gave the power to grant permission.

But now it’s different.

This new way of living has become so deeply ingrained that going back to the old way of thinking – of doing things because I’m supposed to rather than because I want to – just doesn’t work.

I simply end up loathing the object of my labours and eventually, myself.

This is why it’s time for me to say goodbye.

You see, when I started AI, it was my passion. It was my drive. There was a pain in the world that needed to be solved and I was the one with the solution for it.

I had the answers, I had the tools, and I was going to rid the earth of this injustice.

I cared more than I ever admitted to myself or anyone else about the suffering in the silent, defeated sigh at the end of a long and lonely night, filled with frustration and, in a lot of cases, desperation.

Helping guys gave me the sense of significance, power, and connection that I was craving.

I could feel their pain in my own memories and their delight when they found the freedom and joy they were looking for.

There was nothing greater than the experience after a long night spent posting on the forum, receiving a tentative email from someone I’d never met before saying “Thank you, you changed my life.”

Because I knew what that meant. Because I knew what that felt like.

But after 7 years, hundreds of blog posts, thousands of hours on the other side of the Skype coaching line, and more long, deep, private conversations than could ever be counted, the same reward isn’t there any more.

It first started a few months ago.

I don’t know exactly where or exactly when, but at some point in time, it just stopped pushing the right buttons.

Coaching went from being empowering and rewarding to routine and mundane.

Then it became boring.

Then it became frustrating.

I found myself tuning out and my mind wandering.

I didn’t know why. I thought I was just in a bad mood.

But then it happened again. And again. And again.

I stopped writing articles and I stopped responding to emails because they had gone from the most exciting and rewarding things I’d ever done to a mundane and repetitive task.

It took a bit of soul searching to work out why, but it was obvious once I saw the two main problems:

1. There was no challenge in it

With all the coaching I’ve done over the last 7 years, I’ve reached a point where I can watch a guy interact with a group of people for 30 seconds and tell you most of his life story.

Not in the specifics of what he’s done, but why he did it, how it felt, and what’s going to happen until he changes the core issue he’s facing.

I can see the problems he has with women laid out as plain as day and come up with a game plan of steps of what he needs to do to eliminate them within a minute or two.

This isn’t challenging any more and helping guys see what I see without much effort feels like I’m wasting hours of my life.

This wouldn’t be too much of an issue if it wasn’t for the second problem:

2. The problem isn’t significant enough

In the last 12 months, I’ve travelled more than I have in the previous 31 years combined.

I’ve been on 4 continents and in a dozen cities, seeing the images and hearing the stories that weren’t sensational enough to make it to push the tale of Ms. Jones and her rowdy neighbours off what we call ‘the nightly news’, but contained more real pain and suffering than I ever thought possible.

And let me tell you, if you’ve only ever spent time wrapped up in your first-world cocoon, sheltered from what’s happening outside the neatly weeded sidewalks and trimmed lawns of your middle class suburbs, there’s a lot you’re missing.

There are so many people who have so many problems and pains and fears and challenges that stretch so far beyond your inability to ask the cute barista who makes your morning coffee to the barbeque you’re having this weekend.

You can’t ask the secretary from three floors below out because you’re afraid that everyone will laugh at you?

Well, at least you live in a city that’s safe enough that people can still go to work without fear of being killed. And to make it even better, your country is doing well enough to be able to create employment opportunities.

I want you to stop for a second and think about all the incredible things that had to have happened in your life for you to be able to put not being able to flirt with girls as your biggest challenge.

You have a roof over your head. You have money. You have food. You live in a world where you don’t have to worry about whether or not the next time you put your foot down, it’s going to be on a land mine.

The fact that you can worry about your relationships with women puts you in the top 20% of the luckiest people in the world.

Now, I’m not saying this to try and diminish the size of your problems. Your pain is your pain and no amount of wishing or attempting to recontextualise it is going to make it go away.

It’s the number one thing on your list for a reason and it’s going to stay there until you have the tools to solve it.

I’m simply trying to tell you why I don’t find the same sense of reward and satisfaction in coaching any more.

Whilst it pains me to hear the frustration and disappointment in the emails and through Skype, seeing the real size of the challenges and issues this world faces means that I can’t throw myself into solving women issues without thinking that my time could be better spent.

This is why it’s time for me to say goodbye.

It’s time for me to move onto bigger challenges. It’s time to up the stakes.

At this point in time, it’s hard to say what that’s going to be.

I have a vague idea of the direction that I need to move in, but at this point in time, it’s just a vague plan.

But you can be assured, that as soon as anything is locked down, you’ll be the first to hear about it.

What will become of AI? That’s harder to say.

Eventually, it might be rolled into a new project that I have in mind.

Or, it might stand alone so that its message remains clear and concise for anyone who wants to find it.

I honestly can’t tell you.

All I can say for sure is that there are two final pieces that I leave you with.

1. The Endgame Addendum

The Endgame Addendum has just been finished and has been sent out. If you’ve bought either the PDF, softcover, or hardcover in the past, check your inbox now.

If you’re one of the guys who’ve bought the softcover in the last 3 weeks and I’ve told you to hang on, I’ll be ordering those tonight and sending them out.

2. One Final Hurrah!

I know there are a few guys who’ve been sitting on the fence about whether or not to jump into Get Real. They know they want help, but they just haven’t committed because of various excuses they’ve been telling themselves.

Well, I’m giving you one more chance.

I’m opening Get Real up to the public for the first time in at least a year if not 18 months.

We only accept 10 students at once and every time we’ve had a vacancy, it’s been filled by someone on the priority list.

Now, to give everyone who wants to ready to get to the core of their issues the chance to get personal, one-on-one coaching, and step-by-step guidance to solve their issues, I’m opening up 7 places.

Just 7.

One for every year that AI has been running.

These will be the last 7 places available to the public before it’s shut down.

If you want to get your hands on one of these 7 places, head to the Get Real page now.

 

Thank you’s

This is a journey I couldn’t have done alone.

There are a few incredible people that I have to thank for their guidance, support, wisdom, and honesty on this journey.

I’ll try to include them all here, but if I’ve missed anyone, please let me know and I’ll tell you to get lost 🙂

Jonno – for believing in us right from the start. When AI was just two dudes fumbling around in the dark trying to make a difference to the world.

Scott – for giving me the kind of business advice and guidance that you can’t get from books.

Jermaine and Andrew – For putting up with the endless hours of coaching calls, and aborted assignments.

The incredible women who challenged, pushed, and denied me, who have all contributed to me being the Man that I am today.

Everyone who’s ever commented on or shared an article, or contributed their thoughts to the forum. Without your participation, we never would have been able to touch the amount of lives we’ve been able to over the last 7 years.

Then there are the rest of the crew – Dobek, Marcatilli, Zach, McConaghey, Sly, and everyone else who’s helped or challenged me along the way.

But there’s one person who without him, none of this would have even existed for others to help with: Steven

Without you, there would be no AI.

I had the ideas about what and who and where and why, but you were the one who drove this to become a company and pushed me to challenge my limitations and use what I had to help others on the same journey I was on.

Without you, I would just be some dude, getting in pointless arguments with other keyboard jockeys on closed forums behind immature usernames.

 

So, that’s it. That’s all I have to say on this matter.

Me, stripped bare.

The last 7 years have been incredible. I’ve grown and changed in ways that I can’t even begin to describe and I’m sure this journey will continue.

If you’ve previously purchased a copy of Endgame, keep an eye on your inbox for the new version.

If you want to be one of the last 7 guys to Get Real, grab your place now.

And if you want to see where this journey heads next, make sure you keep an eye on the blog or on my personal website for any news.

It’ll arrive when it’s ready.

Thanks for all your time. It’s been incredible.

See you on the flip side.

 

 

 

Leigh

 

 

 

 

 

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About The Author

30 Responses

  1. Zach

    Glad to have been of service to the place that changed my life.

    Only wish you well on your next venture.

    Zach

    Reply
  2. Jan

    Leigh,

    On the behalf of myself and probably most guys here I would like to thank you for all you have done. You know how much your work means to us. For those few guys who were fortunate enough to stumble across AI and got to know you (even if that’s only through articles or Skype convos), you have made a huge difference in our lives.

    I wish you all the best for whatever crazy fucked up road you’re gonna go down next 😉 As for me, I’m gonna thank you in person with a beer. That I promise.

    Cheers mate,

    Jan

    Reply
  3. Raf

    I don’t have much to say but know that what you did changed my life too, and the life of many others. I’m sure that whatever next adventure you jump into will be just as awesome and significant if not more !

    Have great times !

    Raf

    Reply
  4. Jonno

    Mate,
    What can I say? This is huge news… and yet, not surprising at all.

    I think we all knew this day would inevitably come.
    But 7 years?! I think it’s more than perhaps we all deserved.

    I watched as you slogged your guts out, giving it your all, and not once did you ever stop loving every minute of every challenge (even when it sucked balls, even when you wanted to give up, and even when it all broke down): that was part of the game for you, and you took it on like no motherfucker I’ve ever known.

    I wish I knew so many people with a fraction of the passion you had for this work.

    And that’s why I’m not sad for you.
    Because I know how long you must have been rolling this decision over and over in your mind. And I know that this is just one of many incredible gifts you will bring to the world… you’ve shaken out of your cocoon, and now it’s time for Leigh to go Super-Saiyan.

    I’d wish you a smooth transition, but I know that it’s the fire that you thrive in, so I wish you this: the patience to endure, the resilience to overcome, and the flexibility to love the shit out of the ride.

    You’ve been a gift to us all, and you’ve been a massive influence on my life and the man I am today.

    Thank you for showing me that I never needed this to begin with :). For that, I am most grateful.

    Much love to you brother, and keep me posted of your adventures, you cunt ;).
    Jonno

    Reply
  5. Damian

    No amount of words can explain the impact you’ve had on my life.

    But you know

    Thanks mate, and all the best with your next adventure
    Damian

    Reply
  6. Christian

    Leigh, we haven’t really spoken too much, but in essence we have. I want to thank you for doing what very few have the balls to do – Living your truth. So many of us have grown beyond the fears and limitations that we’ve created because of the work you’ve done. You said you wanted to change the world, you have my friend. I’ll be seeing you someday, on the path you’ve decided to start up on. Hell, I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of us.

    To everyone getting all sad about the end, don’t. Life has beginning and ends, Leigh could have ended this ride a long time ago, Seduction Community Sucks was already a leap forward in our perspective on dating. Dating… Sounds mundane doesn’t it ? In this beautiful labyrinth of information, you’ll find the key to every possible issue you’re facing with women. When the information here doesn’t answer the questions you face, start looking into yourself – That is how Leigh discovered all that is AI after all – You are everything you need, that’s been the point of this journey, for us to realize this.

    Lying dormant in the heart of AI, and many of it’s participants is a feeling: SOMETHING BIGGER AWAITS

    -C

    Reply
  7. Eyal

    t’Was a pleasure, thanks!

    Are you planning on closing down the websites and such? Because having gone through Get Real I feel the need to kind of come back to it from time to time and it would be much easier if it would be available as an ebook – especially if you’re thinking of taking the site down..?

    Reply
  8. Lauris

    Leigh, you are a great, great man. You remind me of my own need to find the challenge and purpose, and contribution I can make to this world. What MATTERS.

    Reply
  9. Markus

    There is a saying that goes somewhere along the line sof:
    “You always search the things that will eventually heal yourself”

    I did. Startet in the PU Community, came here, changed my life.

    Even big words can’t describe what you’ve done, so I’ll use simple ones:

    Thank You!!!

    Reply
  10. Jammer

    Thanks Leigh, and let’s leave AI as is. Move on together with our lives. I hope to meet you one day, and continue to stay updated with your life and material.

    Reply
  11. viimapoika

    Thanks from my behalf too. AI was life changing for me too. Not that you asked it or need it but you totally get my respect. I hope to hear from your next project sometime. Perhaps something with wildlife ‘cos you give kind of surfer-dude impression.

    Reply
  12. Vallin

    I’m a Camelot-baby (Washington DC-JFK-RFK), and more recently a 9/11 witness (NY security officer no less). And a cutting-edge interracialist/polyamorist in 70’s-80’s NC. While I bought one of Ross Jeffries first pamphlets (with a MONEY ORDER, y’all!) most of what he was saying (except for that NLP-eyeball-watching voodoo) was old material for this veteran mall cowboy/college graduate/Rock-Star. Then I met and married (and divorced) a real Heavy Metal Voodoo Queen and moved to Brooklyn. So you can see why I see Leigh’s point here. I just wondered how long it would take him. Good Luck, Leigh!

    Reply
  13. Jack

    Many thanks, End Game is the greatest book I’ve ever read and has changed my life.

    Jack

    Reply
  14. Leir

    I thank you for all of the changes your work brought to my life.
    I hope your path bring the changes you want too, Leigh.
    Right now I am following the life I want, and I’m happy for it. And I’m also happy for you to be doing the same.

    When it comes to following a new path, we need strenght. And when it comes to strenght, all I can think is that the sun that rises again and again, and shed its light on a new day is the sign that the future is bright.

    Therefore,
    http://img.hsmagazine.net/2012/07/doublesunpower.jpg

    Reply
  15. MV

    Gracias Dom Leir,

    Thank you for your time, for your passion. I am very thankful for the fact that there are people like you. As long as you don’t lose your passion for helping people, whetever their problem is, go for it!
    Although I trully thing I wasn’t prepared to rethink my life when I joined AI, I met a big buddy of mine here and started my journey of freedom…
    I could say that AI made me more harm than good, since I started a non-stop thinking depression and couldn’t stop questioning my life. But I wouldn’t be honest if I stopped here.

    I came here trying to figure out how to get good with women and sundely (after a few blog posts) I was trying to change my whole life. I had something like an overdose of thinking and started riding a crazy downward spiral. I thought I needed more and more information. Read all the books and started even started a program (which I thank you very much, because you gave it to me for free). One day I started crying thinking I wasn’t happy and couldn’t do my most basic shores. This day my family called and told me to stop thinking and start doing. This is something you always repeat to your students but I only (really) got it when I reached the rock bottom.
    I am not criticizing your work. I simply wasn’t prepared to rethink everything. After I abandoned AI and started seeking my goals, I truly understood what you were saying… Doing instead of thinking. Started getting good with woman, although this ‘success’ is costing me a lot in my studies (but hey! At least I made this decision). The woman I got costed me a lot of work: I started getting out everyday to meet people, especially girls. Got a lot of no’s, lot’s of rejections. But that was my dream and just like you say: If you do something you love or really want to improve, you will start to have success and be happy. Now I understand that and I thank you. But I don’t thank you because you thought me the right path…
    The greatest contribution you had in my life was showing me that my fate was in my hands. I got this very quickly here. In the beginning I felt bad, but then – after the crisis – everything clicked.
    Maybe I am an isolated case. Many people here say you saved their lifes, which is awesome! Keep these comments in the front of your mind and keep helping people. The way you want. As you say in the EndGame: Create something.

    Thank you,

    MV

    Reply
  16. juan esteban

    Hi Leigh may not remember am I of Colombia . whether around here has also made with your vision a better world , just like to express my brother that among all of you is the only author who helped me a lot is the more I am in love with me and Units proposed and what I have no doubt to tell someone that you are the best there is in terms help you see your problems not only that you have the most exquisite approach and I have known you a more consistent genius my brother , just tell him that I have to accept the decision I took because I was excited about the idea of ​​someday being instructor IA over here in Colombia and to show the guys what I’ve seen make me feel about to mourn that God bless you and your family and because I do not love my brother let my deep gripped respect you and value in my conscience, hope in your new project I go excellent and superstructures all these challenges , you’re still helping kids to be free even that is no longer exactly the same way , I hope someday to thank you in person so please keep updating what your whereabouts when I have a chance to come see you , Leigh THANKS !

    Reply
  17. ted19

    Hey, Leigh! (and everybody else in here)

    I wanna thank you for changing the way i’ve been perceiving the world around me since i found your stuff.. Here i found all the tools i needed to drastically change my life, and even though I still have a very long way to go, I, in the present moment, am happier than ever :-). And it’s all thanks to you, man..!
    So, thanks for everything and for willing to make such a difference in peoples’ lives!!

    Reply
  18. Shyaam

    Thank You Leigh.

    You have always pointed out to what’s true and what’s important.

    Wishing you all the very best!!!

    Reply
  19. Mario

    Even though it may not have been initially intended this article may be the most powerful article you have written to date, it’s shown (not directly expressed) the kind of man you need to be attract the women you dream of. Leading by action Leigh, such a great lesson I’ve learnt here and it’s my turn to do the same.

    Leigh, words can’t describe how much of a real impact you’ve had.
    These are life skills you’ve brought here that will help us become the kind of men who will in turn give their gift to the world and if it’s anything like what you’ve brought, mate you’ve set in motion something absolutely beautiful and powerful.

    I know you mention that it’s something small compared to problems in the world and yes there are huge issues that need to be tackled, but this was an issue that needed to be tackled and nobody else tackled them but you! As you grow through life you realize it’s not about women it’s about life and that is a huge, huge thing!

    Yes it seems small when you’re worrying about whether this girl you’ve spent so much time with likes you anymore, or you can’t express yourself fully or approach this or that girl but these things are for the people that struggle with it a limiting thing, something that’s holding them back from being their fullest self and bringing their gifts to the world and YOU have provided the tools for helping them overcome that. The tools and solutions you’ve provided seem so obvious and sometimes counter-intuitive but they are I believe the tools and solutions at their truest form and that is why they are so powerful and life changing.

    As you go through life you realize that the problems with women weren’t the problems you were facing at all, it was all about you not being your best, you playing it small realize after a while that the problems with women if anything show you that you have been playing it safe, playing it small and comfortable and that it’s time to step up find what’s emotionally compelling for you, what you love to do and what your passionate about and the problems you thought you had with women fade away.

    Thank you very much Leigh, all the best in the future and keep us updated!

    Mario

    Reply
  20. Bas

    Hey Leigh,

    Thanks for everything. AI and End Game helped me discover the knowledge I so desperately needed. I deeply respect and understand your move and I am happy you have decided to give your gift in places where it can not only change lives but also save lives.

    Your journey is and will always be an inspiration to me! May the force be with you 😉

    Bas

    Reply
  21. Rhys

    Thanks a lot mate, you’ve really made a difference to many people. It may feel insignificant right now but I think the essence of your work is much deeper. Wish you all the best in your future pursuits, you’ll kill it.

    Reply
  22. Deem

    Leigh,
    Thanks for being the perfect example of how to challenge oneself and move on despite the pain.
    Best of luck in your future projects!

    Reply
  23. .

    Hey,

    I ordered Endgame via Lulu in 2010.
    How can I get the addendum then? I just logged in to Lulu again, and discovered that I can’t even download the Endgame-pdf anymore. There seems to be some error with that… (Which isn’t too bad for me since I still have the pdf on my computer, but I’m still wondering about the addendum part)

    Reply
  24. Leigh (LoGun)

    Hey guys,

    Thanks for all the kinds words and the support. It’s really good to know that everything we’ve been doing here has made a real difference to the world and that you guys have gotten something out of it.

    I’m still not 100% sure what’s going to happen next but I have two ideas that are sitting at the front of my mind. I’ve just posted an article about it here: http://leighloueygung.com/a-fork-in-the-road/

    If you have a sec, I’d be really keen to hear any thoughts you have on either idea.

    Till next time,

    Leigh

    Reply
  25. Lucian M

    Leigh,
    When I read End Game, more than 3 years ago, it changed my life. After just a few months I was a new person. Moving to Courage, and then beyond that changed everything! Funny enough, now I myself am studying to become a trainer (and probably a coach) too. 🙂
    Thanks so much man!
    Lucian

    Reply
  26. Anish

    All I’d like to say is thanks mate. This project has helped me personally out more than I can say. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours brother.

    Reply
  27. Daan

    Sad to see you leave. Inspiring text about your motives.

    I don’t get it though. You say AI is over and the 23rd of November the last participants for Get Real where accepted. (Which now says SOLD OUT)

    I clicked on the program and just got an email that there are two places left if I reply with ‘Touch me in the morning, and last thing at night’

    So what’s the deal?

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Hey mate, you might want to check the date on that email. It was sent on the 7th April… I still replied to your email though. Check it out and let me know your thoughts.

      Reply
  28. Edgar

    Logun, I am happy that you are doing what is best for you, and I am at the same time also sad that the information that’s in here might get lost, its just too pressiouse. We have never talked, but I can honestly say that you are the best self development (coach, helper, guru, master, student, or whatever) that I have ever learned from in my entire life!
    PS: If your passion for this is ever back, don’t esitate to come back. Even if it is just for a month, I will be the first to follow you. 🙂

    Reply
  29. Jorge

    You are a big inspiration to me, you helped me a lot.
    Im reading that you modified Endgame, Ive already checked my Mail but is not there, I payied for Endgame the last year, my name is Jorge and my Mail is Jorgemanuelnorma@hotmail.com could you please send me the new copy?? Im very interested in reading it, once again you are a big inspiration to me thanks for everything and good luck in your new journy.

    Reply

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