Just cause you got her number, doesn’t mean she likes you… Leigh (LoGun) Dating and Relationships 11 Comments I’m sitting on my couch at home, listening to one of the funniest conversations I’ve heard in a while. My girlfriend is talking to her good friend about her night out on the town. “I went out, flirted, had a great night, and met a big group of guys.” As she went to leave, one of the guys happened to leave as well and they walked home together. This is where things got awkward. The conversation moved from light, fun, and cool to deep, FAR too quickly for her liking. He shared, he opened, he divulged his deep, darked secrets. He let it all out and let the chips fall where they may. Unfortunately, the chips fell in the “I don’t care” pile. As they stood on the steps of her house, he opened up more: “I’ve had so many issues with meeting girls and I feel like we have such a deep connection. We should keep in touch. Can I have your number?” “Sure…” She replied with a polite smile and gentle nod. She didn’t give it to him out of desire, connection or lust. She gave it to him out of pity. “He’s had so many troubles. I didn’t want to make him feel worse by saying no. So I just gave it to him! He hasn’t called me yet… I hope he doesn’t…” She’s not mean, she’s not a bitch. She genuinely cared about this guy and didn’t want to hurt him. Unfortunately, she just wasn’t attracted to him. She’s the kind of woman who likes strong, powerful guys. And whilst she doesn’t quite know it yet, she likes guys who’re able to be strong and take control. This guy just wasn’t for her. The funny thing about this is that this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this from women. An ex-girlfriend once told me that whilst we were together, she gave her number to two or three guys, just because she didn’t want them to hurt their feelings. “They tried so hard and they were sweet guys, I didn’t want them to feel bad.” My current girlfriend has also given her number out to guys, just to encourage them to keep going out and flirting with girls. “I felt bad… I couldn’t crush them like that…” Girls do it all the time. Maybe it’s because they feel sorry for you, maybe it’s because they feel pressured and want to get away from you, maybe it’s because they think you tried really hard and don’t want to discourage you. Women will give you their phone number for lots of different reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to see you again. So what’s the point of all this? It’s to get you to do one thing: change your focus. Working to get a girls number is pointless. It’s not a powerful goal to aim for because at the end of the day, it really doesn’t mean anything. It’s like heading out with the purpose of trying to guess a woman’s shoe size – at the end of the day, it’s not going to help you get closer to your goal. It doesn’t mean she likes you, it doesn’t mean you’ve done well, it doesn’t mean she wants to see you again. All it means is you have a set of numbers in your phone that may or may not ever be answered. “So what’s a better goal to have?” I’m not your boss and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but if you really want a suggestion, try focussing on: Giving her a great experience. Become the kind of Man who can let go of trying to get things from women and who needs the validation of lots of hot women’s numbers in his phone and start focussing on giving. What would change about your interactions with women if you walked into them with the goal of helping her have an amazing experience? What would change if instead of getting stuck in your head trying to memorise a series of steps and tricks, you focussed on what she was going through and helping her feel more beautiful, loved, appreciated, excited, and challenged? Do you think you’d be plagued with such intense anxiety? Do you think you’d be as scared of bad reactions? Do you think running out of cool and impressive things to say would be a problem? Something to think about. “But how do I make the change?” Well, first step seeing exactly what’s really preventing you from being THAT guy. (And no, it’s got nothing to do with your lack of knowledge or information) There’s a core element that runs through not only your relationships with women, but with your work, your friends, your family, and your leisure time. It’s the cause of your frustration, your disappointment, your confusion and your pain. If you want to find out exactly what that is and start the process of eliminating it for good… …download your FREE copy of Seduction Community Sucks from the sidebar on the right >>>>> L. Join over 25,000 subcribersDownload your FREE copy of Seduction Community Sucks now and get in-field videos, subscriber-only articles, and exclusive podcasts delivered directly to your inbox If you're ready to become the kind of Man that attracts confident and in-demand women without trying, then I have a gift to start you on that journey. Seduction Community Sucks is your 159 page kick-start to becoming the kind of Man that makes women go weak at the knees. Get your FREE copy, as well as access to other subscriber-only articles, podcasts, and video footage, now. Get your FREE ebook, hidden articles, in-field videos, and exclusive podcasts here: 11 Responses Vodka November 29, 2012 It is also true that it is a way to discourage boys, Leigh. Exactly, because there are many external reasons because those girls give you their number, is that you have to focus on the what you want. There have been days where I got a lot of numbers and all with what you say. Then other days where I got many numbers full of attraction and do not know what to do with so much. Others where they did not like I at first, spoke or date with me and the girls were attracted. I care about that? No, I was focused on what I wanted and went after that. However, with experience, now I have several filters to even know if she is the girl who I will call. If I get your number and she is not, then I’ll delete it after. I know before calling, before asking her number. I can be the guy most powerful and strongest in the world, but even I will meet women who will give me their numbers with others that are not attraction. I can not control it, try to control it is a waste of time. However, with all of AI is a good opportunity to increase your probabilities of her numbers are by attraction or something very near to that and everything without doing anything, without effort, all this happens in automatic. Reply Zach November 29, 2012 your girlfriend doesn’t know that she likes guys who are strong and in control? Reply Leigh (LoGun) November 29, 2012 No dude, my girlfriends friend doesn’t know it yet. She’s still working through that part of her sub-conscious. Reply Zach November 29, 2012 how old is she? Leigh (LoGun) November 29, 2012 Mid to late 20’s… Notachode December 1, 2012 Why would it matter if she was conscious of it or not? You are attracted to who you are attracted to. Reply Leigh (LoGun) December 3, 2012 It’s not a problem, it’s just a statement. If she knows the kind of person she’s attracted to, it makes it easier to start to find them. She can start to hang out in places where she’s more likely to meet a guy who’s the kind of guy she likes. If she’s not, she’s just relying on luck. Reply Jammer December 3, 2012 Attraction first, rationalisation second. Reply Frank June 27, 2013 Hey boss, hate to break it to you, but your girlfriend IS mean and immature, and IS kind of a bitch, even though she doesn’t realize it, as is every girl who has ever done this. It’s not done out of genuine compassion for the guy. It’s done because the woman doesn’t want to feel like “the bad guy” by rejecting him. If she genuinely cared for him, she wouldn’t waste his time by giving him false hopes; she’d simply save him the time and avoid giving her number. Thus, it’s really out of selfishness. Women want to feel like good people, and so they avoid doing things that make them feel otherwise, even if those things ultimately cause immense frustration and anguish for others. Reply Leigh (LoGun) June 27, 2013 I would suggest that your completely incorrect statements about the kind of people these women are has more to do with you blaming other people for your lack of satisfaction, fulfillment, and connection than anything to do with the kind of people these women are. Reply Scott June 27, 2016 I don’t know, Leigh; he’s kinda got a point there. I mean, maybe he’s shifting the blame and focusing on the wrong things here, and these women may well be great people who sincerely didn’t want to hurt those guys. But he still makes a valid point; I know I’d really hate for a woman to give me her number just out of pity because she didn’t want to hurt me, and then be given false hopes that some connection might be there that really isn’t. I’d much rather just have her reject me outright and not lead me on or waste my time. I think that honesty (even if it hurts) is much more preferable to pity and “not wanting to hurt my feelings.” I say, go ahead, hurt my feelings and be honest. I’m used to it and I’ll get over it. I always do. And I respect honesty even if it’s painful. But it’s necessary. To the women out there reading this: please, I implore you by all that is good and holy: don’t give us your number out of pity. When we eventually find out that you don’t feel the same way about us, we’ll be far more “crushed” than if you would’ve just politely declined to give us your number in the first place. Please give us honesty, and it’ll avoid a lot of problems. Just something to think about. Peace Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.