The Best Way To Approach Women

Question: What’s the best way to approach a girl for the first time that you know nothing about, or have not talked to before? And how long should a good conversation last?


Answer: The ‘best’ way to approach a girl is both a difficult and simple question to answer. Why? Because it depends on you.

The ‘best’ way is dependent on what you want to achieve.

If you want to start a relationship (whether that be overnight or long term) with woman where you’re stuck in your head all the time, hiding what you’re really thinking and really feeling, just so that she’ll hang out with you…

…then just take some kind of bootcamp, learn some cheap tricks, spend months (if not years) trying to internalise them, and you might find a girl who is silly enough to fall for your tricks.

But, if you want start a relationship (once again, overnight or long term) where you’re just free to be yourself, then the ‘best’ way to approach a woman is start it like that.

If you see an attractive girl and want to talk to her, simply say that.

If you see an attractive girl and want to talk to her but don’t know what to say, say that.

If you see an attractive girl and want to talk to her but you’re nervous about what other people think, then say that.

I’ve got a thread on my forum on this exact thing.

Learn how to approach women naturally here

Now, a lot of guys worry about looking ‘weak’ by doing this: “I can’t just say what I think and how I feel. If she knows that I care about what other people think, she’ll think I’m not manly enough…”

If this is what you think, consider this:

Does it take more strength to pretend like you don’t care what other people think or to do what you want to do, despite the fact you care about what other people think?

Does it take more strength to hide who you are or express who you are?

Something to consider…

One thing I need to make clear. I’m not saying that this approach will get you every girl, every time.

This approach will help you just be free, happy, and open around women without being stuck in your head trying to impress her.

How much would your success with women improve if you able to be free, open, and happy around them?


Now to the second part of your question: how long should a good conversation last?

A good conversation should last as long as it needs to last to achieve it’s outcome.

Yes… I know… Ambiguous shit again… but think about this:

If you have an idea in your head that a conversation needs to last 10 minutes for it to be successful, then you’re going to try and hang in there for 10 minutes, regardless of what’s going on.

What if she’s in a hurry?

What if she’s with her family?

What if her boyfriend is coming back?

Conversely, what if you’re in a hurry?

What if you’re with your family?

What if your other girlfriend is coming back?

And more importantly, what if you could leave her wanting more by walking away before the tension had time to die off?

A good interaction lasts as long as it needs to last to achieve the desired outcome.

What’s the desired outcome?

You want to know what kind of woman she is, you want her to know what kind of Man you are, and if you’re compatible, you want to find a way to contact each other again.

That’s all you need.

How long does that take?

Well, in most cases, she’s already sized you up before you open your mouth.

I know it sounds rough but it’s usually true. High quality women have been hit on by enough guys to be able to tell whether or not you’re the kind of Man she is willing to give a shot before you squeeze out your “Hi, I’m…”

This is actually the best thing possible for you.

Why? Because you can’t convince her to like you. She’s already made up her mind before you speak so there’s really no point in trying to change her mind.

Stop focussing on changing her mind and just have fun. You can’t change her mind so give up on it. Spend your time learning how to have fun, how to laugh, how to enjoy you time with her, regardless of whether she comes wants to be with you.

That way, you’re going to win no matter what.


Now, everything I’ve given you here is the ‘what’ you need to do. It’s a quick tool you can use to start things off.

Now for the ‘how’ you to make this change…

There’s an underlying layer that governs everything in your interactions with women. It determines how easy, effortless and free or difficult, painful, and frustrating things are.

It determines everything that goes on and unless you change it, you’ll be searching for tricks to help you be more attractive to women for ever.

You can read about it in Seduction Community Sucks.

Download it for free from the right hand side now.




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3 Responses

  1. dave

    Alex – Maybe fewer and fewer guys are approaching women these days because they are waiting longer, hoping, later in life, to avoid the “games” when women can no longer afford to play them. If more women approach, I imagine that it will be easier for men.

    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Sure, things might be easier. But they might not be easier either.

      Women, especially the high quality, in-demand women most guys want, might never get to a place where they ‘can no longer to afford to play games.’

      You can keep asking “When will things get easier?” if that’s the way you want to live your life but how much of your life are you willing to put on hold, waiting for things that might never eventuate?

      How many of your precious days are you going to sacrifice in the hope that one day, you won’t have to try so much?

      You can either wait for things to be easier or you can learn to enjoy the challenge. Which sounds like a more rewarding and fulfilling way to live your life?

  2. pablin

    1 – You say that “A good conversation should last as long as it needs to last to achieve it’s outcome” so, that means that there are not such thing as buying temperature? That also means that with a “party girl” who want excitement the escalation can be very quickly if you give her what she want?

    2- You say that the outcome in the interaction is: “You want to know what kind of woman she is, you want her to know what kind of Man you are, and if you’re compatible, you want to find a way to contact each other again” so, in a certain way you ask things about her and say things about you AT THE SAME TIME that you give to her excitement or connection (depending what she want in that moment)??


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