What don’t you ‘get’ about women?

I’m writing a big article to help guys understand women more and I need your help. I’m struggling to come up with ways that women are different that confuses guys and I need a hand compiling a big list.

The more things that are on it, the more comprehensive and thorough this article’s going to be.

So, to help out, can you please complete this sentence:


“The thing I don’t get about women is…”


Here’s a couple to get your brain in motion.

The thing I don’t get about women is…

– How they can talk on the phone for hours
– Why they’re so indecisive
– Why when they do make up their mind, they change it 30 seconds later
– Why they still stay with guys who don’t treat them well and ignore me when I’m such a good guy
– Why they need 20 pairs of shoes

Just write your response in the comments below.

Thanks for the help.


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About The Author

35 Responses

  1. Zach

    I’d like some more information on why women stay with bad boys.

    I get the whole nice guy thing, just wondering about women who stay with guys who treat them badly. I guess it’s the whole some sense of power thing? cause they kinda sorta seem like they do what they want and don’t care about what others think of them.

    Maybe it’s their sense of low self esteem too? which factors into it. cause i guess real women would never settle for guys like that.

    just some more info on that would be cool.

  2. Zach

    Oh, and some more clarification on why a woman who loves the things a guy does and is really attracted to him and the things he does (like praise them, compliment them, do nice things for them) doesn’t express it through words or through obvious means, at least in my experience.

    i mean you can see it come through in their body language with certain things, but other than that the women i’ve experienced don’t obviously express their gratitude and appreciation.

    some clarification on this stuff would be cool.

  3. Marcos

    I also have those questions Leigh (and I’m sure all men those questions as well).
    As far as they being with badboys, I believe it has to do with character. A badboy might have negative things in his personality but its his strong character/atitude that is attractive to women. The way I see it is this: you can’t be bad/asshole and have a strong character at the same time (well maybe you can but its hard for me to imagine that).
    On the other hand, nice guys have positive things in their personalities (which women like) but they don’t have a strong character (they are weak which kills the attraction)

  4. Marcos

    As far as what I don’t get about women:

    -why do are they SO interested in having a good communication in a relationship but when they are mad, they don’t want to communicate their fellings? Its like they want you to tell everything but they are not willing to do the same when they are pissed. Sure she loves you and she doesn’t want to break up but she is not doing anything to solve the uncomfortable moment with you
    Me: honey, that’s wrong?
    She: nothing (pissed face/voice)
    Me: come on, is it because I did X?
    She: no, I’m fine

    -why do they expect that you “guess” their fellings?
    She: I wanted (whatever she was expecting) from you and you didn’t give that to me…and I don’t want to have to tell you everything.
    Since when we men are mindreaders?

    -why they spend so much time trying to be perfect before going out?

    I’ll see if I can come up with more questions

  5. Marcos

    -why my GF behaves a little whinny to me when I do what she says (or leave my stuff aside to be with her) but behaves more respectful (more likely to give me a BJ) when I ignore her a little and/or “manhandle” her?

  6. Marcos

    One more:
    Why my GF sometimes is a pain in the ass?
    I know a lot of guys also struggle with their girls/GF/wife. Basically we’re having a great time and suddendy, out of the blue, she throws a critic or a negative comment about me. Other times she complains about very small mistakes I make (I’m not perfect) and I never critize her mistakes (not because I don’t want to but because I really don’t feel like doing so). I already talked with her but seems like it is part of her nature. I would love to read a AI type of answer on this because this is also talked in “The Way of the Superior Man” but his language is way to new agey and he’s basically saying “swallow whatever your woman throws at you and always give love…if you complain, then you’re mediocre” WTF??

    • Jammer

      Hey man, my perspective on that is to just not argue with what she’s saying, get all defensive about it. She’s just testing you to see if you’re the man who’s on track with his life. Some ways to get over the hurdle may be:

      – Keep going with whatever you’re talking about and BARREL OVER what she says (Tyler)
      – Say “Thanks, I’m glad you like it” (David DeAngelo)
      – Say “I’m sorry you feel that way. Would you like to clarify what you said or can we just accept that we both have flaws and move on (Jammer, with some Leigh)
      – Smile at her, look her in the eyes and kiss her (this is giving love, it’s what I do MOST of the time. I may say “You’re so cute when you complain”, and on odd occasions I get defensive and defend my mistakes or attack her, but this is a manifestation of fearful energy)

      Oh, and I’d advise busting on her mistakes in a joking way rather than flat-out criticising. In the above paragraph I talked about manifested fear as being a bad response, in opposition manifested love is a good response e.g. kissing, agreeing, joking. Most every “emotion” can be broken down into two: fear or love, in a ying-yang relationship. Anger is fear, assertion is love. Anxiety is fear, courage is love. Energy levels remain the same.

      • Marcos

        Hey Jammer, thank you very much for your response!! I definetly agree with you when you say “she is testing you”. However I have a problem with those answers (I might use the first idea from Tyler tho). And I’m saying this because something that drove me crazy in the past (when I was trying to pick up girls with PUA methods) is that I was not being real with them and I was not saying what I really wanted to say. Those emotions I didn’t express made feel really bad over time…REALLY BAD. So while I really would like to kiss my GF when she is being a pain in the ass, that’s not what I really feel and repressing those feelings (example “why don’t you shut up”) is not gonna be healthy for me. Many times in the past I tried to remain calm (like you suggested) but later on in the day I couldn’t get out of my head because of the unsolved situation (she would think “problem fixed” but it wasn’t like that inside me).
        So, if I say something along the lines you or David Deida suggested, it has to come from my heart…I really have to feel the words I say (and I’m not feeling them now). Finally, to avoid making this any longer, using the AI philosophy I would say “what do I have to do in my life to remain honestly unaffected so my love towards her comes naturally even when she is being rude???” Unfortunatelly I haven’t find the answer

      • Jammer

        You’re getting it man, it’s both a long slow journey and a piece of cake. I’d say keep building yourself as a man. Never say “I’m good enough already to quit” because you’re not, I’m not, Leigh’s not and no one breathing is. We’re only AS good as we are in the moment but it’s our potential that dictates our future and the actions we take in the present moment.

        The more you work on yourself and your inner psychology, the more your fearful emotions will be replaced with loving ones. A lot of guys (PUA included) get caught in the trap of “working on” women and “flirting/playing with” themselves and their own emotions, oscillating between fear and love like a pendulum on crack which leads to unconscious manifestations of fear.

        Keep your head up man, you’re going well. If you need more advanced knowledge I can recommend some to you, but it’s less personalised than AI.

      • Marcos

        Hi Jammer, thank you very much for your reply!! I’ll keep working on myself because I really want to be out of my head and in control of my thoughts/feelings in social situations (specially when those sharing those momements with my GF). Yeah, I’m interested that advanced knowledge as at the same time I’m also thinking about signing up for “Get Real”

  7. Joonas

    Why women seems so cold and inflexible sometimes? I’m working in a big warehouse of daily consumer goods, we drive with forklifts and this one time I was blocking a way from a girl in collecting corridor with some other lad so I asked politely if she wanted to pass and she replied yes with a voice that sounded like there is no other possibility. Other times woman might tell “But I want this” in a very inflexible way where a guy saying the same thing would start to negotiate if our needs were to collide a little bit and thus being more flexible.

    • Jammer

      Just work stresses dude, we’re all a bit like that sometimes. I wouldn’t bother trying to negotiate if on-the-job, maybe if she’s in your personal life. But did that affect YOUR state, or didn’t it? That is the question.

      • Joonas

        Hmm. I got in a little bit whining mood. I guess that I’m been so long trying to please them that I feel so heavy after a single hint that woman wants something from me. After reading other posts made me think that maybe there might be some test if i’m in the right track I want to be. And yes, for a people pleaser it is distracting 🙂

      • Jammer

        Be the cause, not the effect
        Be the star, not the planets
        Be the water, not the rock

  8. José Jara

    Why them depend of the opinion of their girl friends?? They are stupids, superficial, evil and borings… (I think the true is my fault and my responsabilitty for choose to stay with a girl how choose that kinds of friends, because that want mean that she in real nature superficial, stupid, and boring… that for now 😀

    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Hahaha.. It’s coming mate. I’m just finishing off the ‘be better loooking’ article and I’ve got one about using honesty to attract women (and why most guys fail) and then it’s the next big one on the list.

  9. August 23, 2012

    While I agree with the most insights on this site, I find it a little feminist/womanish.. like man are the only one responsible for the interaction, “it take two to tango” and every man can ONLY do his part/share, also I don’t have to take care of any emotional issue she has.

    • Leigh (LoGun)

      No, you don’t. And I’m not suggesting that you do. What I am suggesting is that you take care of everything you can effect before you start putting resopnsiblity onto women.

      Sure, she might have been a bitch when you approached but she might have been a bitch because you were being needy, dependent, and fake. And until you take care of everything you can take care of and become strong, powerful, confident, and giving, then you’ll never know.

      You’re right, it does take two to tango but until you were the best partner possible, you’ll never know whether it was you were to blame or she’s honestly just a shit dancer.

  10. Doruk

    The thing I dont get about woman is why they use millions of tricks and small games to start a conversation rather then just saying hi and diving in to the topic they wanna talk about. For example the girl I talk recently almost never texts me as hey what are ya doin’. She usually sends some interesting tweets she found on twitter or retweets or favorites one of my tweets. Or sends interesting and funny pics she found at 9gag. And yeah I can sense she just wants to initiate(start) a conversation

  11. Doruk

    I have been thinking and it flashed in my mind. Badboyz live their own life. Do whatever they want. They have the life they want(mostly). They feel powerful strong and they dont need woman. They dont chase woman they just do what ever shit they want. If the girl they talk to does not care them then why would they care her? And woman may be attracted to that power freedom. Badboyz arent needy and it doesnt matter if they have girl or not. Thats the reason some woman want to be with them. Woman crave safety and they think they can get it from badboyz. They try to be something for badboyz. Badboyz do not even try, some woman just come to them. But I dont think the woman go after badboyz are strong confident real woman. Strong beautiful real woman wants more. She wants power and protection but love too. She wants safety and freedom but to be cared too. I am no master of it but it seems logic to be. What do you guyz think ?

    • Jammer

      Amen brother. You’ve answered your own question. The first reply was a reaction seeking wuss, the second was a man who’d just had an epiphany. The “logical” thinking is 100% right, it’s just that most men who join the community have limiting beliefs about things such as “Why doesn’t she start conversations?” or “Why do women hate me?”. The problem is most men leave the community worse than they join because they don’t do anything themselves, instead they seek to please women by being “badboyz” while leaving out the inner logic of attraction psychology.

  12. myself

    Why don’t women stay on topic? And why do they sometimes avoid saying what is on their head?

  13. Balance

    The thing I don’t get about women is… the words they use.
    I know we lie sometimes… I accept that.
    But it sucks when it’s dishonesty after dishonesty just to cover up what you really want from me.
    For example, I want to give you a great time, but you try too hard to make me feel bad.
    People in life are forces of energy.
    And it’s up to us on how to use it and/or abuse it.
    Don’t “invest” your time on finding out the next comeback …
    Invest in giving value to people that need to be reminded that we are in control of our feelings and in life.
    Do you want to use life or abuse it? Use or Abuse…
    I want to use it, with mistakes and all 🙂

  14. Josh

    why do they take ages sometimes to reply to a really simple, platonic text message.

  15. phoenix

    I like Doruk’s idea above. Makes sense. 🙂

    My question is what do you do when the one you love attacks you, doesnt explain her frustration, argues and shouts and has the skill in turning anything you do into something wrong and anything she does into the perfect truth! in other words she is always right and I am always wrong. Is that emotional abuse? Or am I missing something in not being able to ignore it?

    • Zach

      why do you have to ignore it man?

      why do you put up with it?

      why not get your shit together and find someone who treats you well instead of taking that.

  16. phoenix

    Stuff I’ve read elsewhere, Things I’ve felt, stuff she said. The whole compromise thing. I began to wonder whether taking her on and trying to put my view forward was worth it by the end. I couldn’t do right whatever I tried to pacify her.

    I put up with it (and i said that to her – that’s when she walked out. Is honesty such a good thing!) cause I loved her..she was magnificent in her affection and happiness and spirit. Then I discovered more and more this volcanic side to her which freaked me out. I wanted a way to cope with it so I could enjoy the rest of who she was. I felt, I feel a failure for not making the relationship work. There were of course many things that contributed to the collapse of the relationship. Her weakness, mine of course! Annoyingly that was the best relationship I’ve ever had though. 90% of the time was awesome, it’s just the 10% misunderstanding seemed to mess everything up more and more.

    Well in deed Zach, she quit. Maybe I should have done it. Then we seemed to have spent since then not being together but close and it’s just been a mess. You’re right of course, I’ve just found getting my shit together incredibly near on impossible. She gave me so many highs! Yup, trying to find someone – it’s just a hard business!

  17. James Miller

    I don’t understand why women keep testing men even as these men already passed her stupid tests. Apparantly they will never know for sure if it’s the right guy for them.


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