What To Do When It All Seems Like Too Much To Handle…

For those who don’t know, yesterday marked exactly 31 years since I first entered this world.

I know, I know… I do look great for my age. Thank you. The secret is to moisturise twice a day. It’ll do wonders for those crows feet.

It’s at times like these, I like to sit back, take a good, long hard look at where I am now, and think back over where I was at this time over the last few years.

Just to see how things have changed.

My life at my 31st birthday is about as far as it’s possible to get from my 29th and 30th.

(NOTE: The big lesson is right down towards the end of the post. If you don’t want to read through everything just skip down)

 

Turning 29 was a scary moment for me.

I was working 25 hours a week at the same bar I’d been at for the last 5 years, still doing this AI thing part time, and really, just enjoying myself.

But on my 29th Birthday, I distinctly remember sitting down and really thinking about my situation.

I had no savings, no career prospects, no plan for securing my future, and a serious doubt about whether or not I could fix any of these.

I was scared. Very scared.

“Is it time to just give this whole AI thing up and actually get on with building a sustainable future? I’ll be 30 next year and I have nothing to show for the last 30 years except for a lot of great memories, a shitty car, and a half finished degree!”

The only thing I could think of was: “The last 5 years have been a HUGE waste…”

I did what I normally do at times like this and went to the beach by myself. I sat on the sand, by myself, for a long time thinking about this.

“Do I get a real job?”

“Do I give up on this whole AI thing and fall in line with everyone else?”

“Do I let go of the dream of living a life of freedom and adventure and conform to what everyone else is doing?”

As I was sitting there, running through all these different scenarios, imagining the future I would face if I followed the ‘normal’ path, I made a decision:

“A life of strict conformity and frustration isn’t what I want. I’m going to make it work. I don’t know how, but I’m going to do it. Now that I’ve tasted what my future could be like, there’s no way I could ever just fall in line with everyone else.”

And so I did.

I didn’t know how I was going to do it so I started there. I read, I learned, I studied, and I practised.

I grew as a coach, I challenged myself as a teacher, and I pushed myself to become the best I could possibly be.

And it all paid off.

That was the year I really started to understand what it takes to become a great coach and how I can help guys experience the freedom, power, and potential inside them.

 

My 30th birthday had a very different flavour.

It was the birthday of “Can I actually do this?”

My birthday arrived just a few short months after Steven left AI and I took over everything. I went from the part time coach who got a big kick out of helping guys to the CEO, CFO, COO, and every other C-something-O you could think of.

I was SO far out of my depth that it wasn’t even funny.

I didn’t even know how much I didn’t know about.

I had no idea about the operational procedures, accounting structures, or automation funnels.

I was so far out of my depth and I couldn’t even see the bottom.

The only thing I could think of was: “Is this even possible?”

So, once again, I made my way down to the beach and sat and thought.

“Maybe I should just pull out. Maybe I should just hire someone to do all of this. Maybe I should just sell the company, make a little bit of money, and use that to start again.”

But, just as it happened this time last year, I started having visions of those futures… Of the boring, mundane life I would condemn myself to and the pain and frustration I would have to go through.

So I made a decision: “I’m just going to make it work. I’m going to overcome every barrier and I’m going to grow through every challenge.”

I didn’t know how I was going to do it and I had no idea where to go next, but I just committed to doing it.

I started by talking to everyone I knew and reading more than I had ever read. I needed to find out everything that I didn’t know so I could make a plan for making it happen.

After 3 months, I had a sniff of what was possible.

After 6, it felt like things were starting to take shape.

And after 12, I feel like I now more than ever, I could be thrown into any situation, in any environment, with any challenges and any difficulties, and I could not only make it work but blossom through it.

 

So, what’s going through my head on my 31st birthday?

“I wonder what’s next?”

I know that I’m moving towards the future I want.

I know that I can handle anything that’s thrown at me.

Now, it’s just a matter of finding the next challenge to direct it towards.

I’m already in the process of learning how to teach the next generation of instructors at AI and that’s an incredible process.

Even just thinking about the new challenges I’m going to face teaching brand new teachers excites me.

What’s beyond that? It could be one of many different things.

Foreplay (The ‘Outergame-ish’ workshop) is still in development, there are 4 books I want to write (and yes, The Art of Dying is one of them), and that’s all before I focus on how to be a better businessman.

It’s going to be an exciting year.

 

If you only learn one thing away from this…

I hope that it’s that you’re only going to experience the power, freedom, and fulfilment that come from being the complete master of your reality by moving towards fear, not away from it.

The strength that comes from knowing you can take on any challenge doesn’t happen when you back away from challenges.

The confidence that comes from knowing the future you desire and knowing that you’re making great strides towards it doesn’t come from running from the life you want.

The freedom that comes from living your life on your terms doesn’t happen when you just fall in live with what everyone else says you should do.

To become the Man of your dreams, you have to find YOUR dream and follow it relentlessly.

You don’t need to know how you’re going to get there or what you need to do, you just need a drive and passion to make it work.

Once you have that, then everything will come from there.

 

In Conclusion

It’s all in your hands.

You can choose to feel lost, confused, frustrated and alone or you can choose to feel powerful, directed, confident, and assured.

You just have to decide how you’re going to live your life and everything will flow from there.

Thanks to all the guys who’ve been a part of this journey so far.

You’ve been a great source of motivation and inspiration.

It’s been a huge pleasure to have you along for the ride and to be part of your ride. I’m excited to see what we can create in the future.

Thank you.

13 thoughts on “What To Do When It All Seems Like Too Much To Handle…”

  1. I’ve been living in a similar situation.
    I’m working in a boring, shitty 8-to-6 job, and studying something I don’t feel any pleasure for.

    I was afraid to follow my truest dream: being a writer.
    The same thoughts rushed through my mind. Also, the insecurities of the carreer: “But I’m so young! And there’s so much wannabe writers walking around that I’m going to starve to death. I’ll never be able to fulfill this dream!”

    But I thought about it. It was my truest passion. Nothing could fill me more than writing. Creating stories. Putting words to make people think. Laugh. Vibrate. To live the stories I tell.

    Nothing was stronger in me than this. If I threw away my towel, I could as well kill myself. No other dream would make me as fulfilled as this one.

    Now I’m leaving university. I’m going to study to be a writer. And I’ll get there somehow. I feel the same fears you felt when decided to take a real compromise in AI. I don’t know how I’ll do it. But I’ll do it.

    My life is going through changes. And you, Leigh, and all of the AI dudes have a great deal of guilt in this process.

    For that I’m deeply thankful, you son-of-a-bitches (:

    P.s.: Happy Birthday, Leigh! Cheers, success and beers!

    Reply
  2. That was an awesome read,

    I had a similar feeling when it turned 2012. A feeling that this was going to be a big year for me, and I have never had that feeling about a new year before. So far its turning out that way, it will be interesting to see what barriers I face in the up and coming months.

    Happy birthday for yesterday old man!

    Reply
  3. Congratulations my friend!

    “I hope that it’s that you’re only going to experience the power, freedom, and fulfilment that come from being the complete master of your reality by moving towards fear, not away from it.”

    Nothing more to add 😉

    Reply
  4. Close to tears again.

    On one side I’m so happy for you. By making this choice, you showed exactly what you believe in, what you stand for and what you teach us. Proud of you mate!

    On the other hand I feel sad and lost, because I can’t share that feeling of yours. I can only imagine how it must feel like. Because I am no where near where I imagine my life could be. I don’t have a passion that drives me. Because I don’t know where I’m heading. I only start to see what I don’t want to be doing…

    Keep going Leigh, the world needs more guys like you!

    Reply
    • I know what that feels like mate. And all I can say is that when you feel like that, then you have a choice – to sit and wallow or to stand up and make a difference.

      Starting Get Real is a big step forward for you and I’m glad to have you in the program but now it’s in your hands. Use that feeling to either squash you down or drive you forward.

      Your choice.

      Reply

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