AI Myths and Misconceptions: BUSTED

If you’ve found your way to this post, I’m sure you’re aware that the Attraction Institute philosophy is very unique.

Because it’s so unique, there seems to be a bit of confusion about what we really stand for.

To help clear that confusion, I’ve put together a list of the most common misconceptions and why they’re completely wrong.

1. You will get better with women just by reading

The issues you face in creating incredible relationships with amazing women have NOTHING to do with the amount of information you have.


If that was the case, you could walk into a library a dud and walk out a stud. This isn’t going to happen.

You could read and read and read and all you’ll be better at is reading. If you want to change the way you interact with women, you need to interact with women.

Yes, it’s important to find the core barrier that’s preventing you from having effortless and easy interactions with women (if you don’t know what this is, check out ‘Seduction Community Sucks’), but you can’t change that core barrier by sitting on your arse.

You need to get up, get out, and take action.

This is a perfect lead on to point 2.


2. Going out to meet women is a bad idea

Some guys think that because AI is more focused on taking control of your life and changing your purpose that going out to specifically meet women is a bad idea.

This is one of the more ridiculous ideas.

You’re here to change the way you interact with women. How can you do that if you don’t meet any women?

Should you go out and use deceptive and manipulative tactics to seduce women? If you want to create effortless and open interactions with incredible women, I would suggest not, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out to meet women.

Go out, play with women, have fun, laugh, meet new people, do crazy things, but do so in a way that’s real and open.

Create the excitement, happiness, fun, and connection you crave through the way you interact with people, not through the way they respond to you.

Live your life by what you believe to be right, not what’s going to get you the best short-term results.


3. Meditation will make you better with women

Sitting in a dark room and listening to whales making love will not make you better with women. Why? Because to change the way you interact with women, you need to interact with women.

Can meditation help? Oh shit yes. It can provide an amazing benefit, but only when you apply it to your interactions with women.

In Get Real, we use a 4 stage progression to help you apply your meditative practice to meeting women, but you can do it in any way you want, as long as it involves actually interacting with women.


4. You need to have your shit together before you start meeting women

After reading through Endgame, some guys get the impression that you need to be fulfilled, happy, free, powerful, and open before you contemplate meeting women.

This is incorrect.

It’s not possible to get your shit together before you start meeting women because a lot of your shit is due to the way you currently interact with women.

So many of your old habits, patterns, and personal limitations are bound up in the way you currently interact with women and can only be undone by interacting with women.


5. When you get your shit sorted, women will fall into your lap without you doing anything.

I don’t teach magic tricks or voodoo spells. Getting your life together will not make women jump out of cupboards and throw themselves on your cock.

Women are not watching you through a telescope waiting for you to finally sort your shit out before they throw themselves at you.

Getting your life together is a step, not an end point.

You still have to meet and talk to women.


6. Having an ego is wrong

The good old male ego seems to get a bad rap around here. But it’s completely unjustified. Your ego isn’t bad, it’s just a thing. It’s a skill you’ve developed to help you feel the way you want to feel.

Don’t hate on a brother, it’s just doing what you wanted. Just because you don’t want it now, doesn’t mean it’s ‘wrong’. It’s just not useful any more.

There’s no point in fighting it or trying to push it away, it’s just a habit.

If you find it’s not helping you right now, then great. Find a different way to experience what you want. But don’t hate on your poor, little ego.


7. Anything is wrong

Whilst we’re on this tangent, I should include this one as well.

Nothing is wrong in the same way that nothing is right. It’s just different.

Right and wrong are all dependent on purpose.

The ‘right’ thing to do in any situation is contextual to what you’re trying to achieve.

Is it right to use a scripted opener? It all depends on purpose.

If your purpose is to hide how you feel and what you really think long enough to trick women into sleeping with you, then yes, it would seem right.

If your purpose is to experience more freedom, openness, and connection in your interactions with women then I would suggest that it’s not ‘right’ because it’s not going to help you get there.

Is Mystery Method right or wrong? It all depends on your purpose.

Is RSD right or wrong? It all depends on your purpose.

Nothing is right or wrong. It just is. Stop trying to categorise, label and judge people and just get on with living your own life.


8. Anything I say is ‘True’

The final piece of the ‘right or wrong’ puzzle is ‘truth’.

Please be aware that nothing I say is objectively ‘true’.

Yes, it’s true for me and my ideas appear true in the examples that I have in my life, but that does not make them objectively true.

I am just as one-sided and narrow minded as everyone else. I have my own set of filters that I’m constantly using to reinforce the ideas I have in my head. It’s called confirmation bias. People naturally filter out information that doesn’t align with their belief structure and will give extra weighing to those events / actions / objects / interpretations that do.

Have my ideas helped me transform from a scared little boy to taking steps towards becoming the Man I know I can be? Yes, without a doubt.

Have they helped thousands of Men around the world take the same steps? Definitely.

Does that make them true? Definitely not.

They’re just ideas. They’re just ways of looking at the world. If you find they help you and ring true with your own experience, then great. Please use them to change your life.

But just because they work for me and you, doesn’t mean they’re true. It’s just our perception.


In summary…

Stop reading and get out of the house. Go out and meet women. Try something, fail miserably. Come back, work out why you failed and then do something different.

If you continue to fail without being able to work out why, come here and ask a question. I’m always here to answer them.

You can reach me at leigh at attraction institute dot org.



This is all I can think of off the top of my head. If you have an impression of AI that doesn’t make sense to you, please let me know and I’ll add it in here.

If you need anything clarified, please ask your questions below.


Additional Myths:

This is where I’ll add any extra in that I think of…

9. The AI philosophy is a series of tricks you can use to pick up chicks

As you know, the basis of becoming naturally and effortlessly attractive to women is being able to be open, free, and honest. If you just use the principles you find on AI as a set of tricks to pick up chicks, your success may go up, but not by much.

Here’s why:

If you live your life by running away from things that scare you, hiding your emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and not doing things that are intrinsically rewarding, what’s your open expression going to be when you’re interacting with women?

It’s going to be “Oh.. My life sucks.. It’s boring, nothing exciting ever happens, all these things and people in life stop me from doing what I want and I feel shit…”

Do you think the happy, free, confident women you want are going to be attracted to that?

If you change the way you live your life so that you’re openly expressing what you desire, what you think, and taking steps towards creating the life you want, how will your open expression change when you’re interacting with attractive women?

It’s going to be “My life is great! Today, I did all these exciting things. I did what I wanted, when I wanted to. Sure, there were scary things but I did them anyway. I feel strong, powerful, in control of my life, and on my journey!”

How do you think that would change your interactions with women?

If you use the ideas you learn at AI as a way to tricking women into sleeping with you, you will get very little benefit. If you take these concepts and apply them to your entire life, you’ll be happy, fulfilled, and excited, regardless of how women respond.

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12 Responses

  1. Ben

    Hey Leigh, lovely post. Theres one thing I’d like you to clarify though…

    “Create the excitement, happiness, power and connection you crave through the way you interact with people, not through the way they respond to you.”

    I know you talk about task over outcome, but using it in that way isn’t clicking in my head?

    • LoGun

      Glad you liked it. Before I answer that question, I need to know something: have you read Endgame?

      Getting, doing, creating… Pathways… etc…

      • LoGun

        Ok good. I’ll see if I can do this via blog comments…

        Why are you here? Why do you come to this website? What are you looking to achieve?

        And how would you feel if you achieved it? What sensation / expereince would you have?

      • Ben

        Hm… By coming here, I hope to overcome everything that stops me from living an AWESOME life. I want to be sound as a person, and free around people.

        If I achieved that? Well, I’d be thrilled. I mean, if I was able to get everything I’ve ever wanted, I’d be really happy… fulfilled.

      • LoGun

        Ok, great. So here’s what I mean by finding what you’re looking for through the action rather than the outcome.

        What I got from your answer was that the experiences and feelings you’re looking for are freedom, happiness, and fulfillment.

        Finding these sensations form the outcome of your actions would be doing things to get approval, validation, and security from people around you so that you could give yourself permission to be free. Once you gave yourself permission to be free, then you could start doing activities and taking actions that allowed you to expereince happiness and fulfillment.

        An example of this is hiding what you think, feel, and what you want to get the approval of a woman so that you then allow yourself to be free and open with her. Once you perceive that she’s given you permission to be free and open, then you start doing things that are more rewarding and fulfilling and start to feel happier.

        Finding the sensations from the actions themselves involves doing actions and activities that allow you to experience free, happiness, and fulfillment, regardless of whether or not people around you approve.

        If I use the same example as above, the difference here would be interacting with her openly and freely and treating her in a way that you find rewarding and fulfilling, regardless of whether or not you perceive you have permission from the world around you.

        The ironic thing is that 99% of the time, the best way to get permission to be free from people around you is to be happy, fulfilled and free. When you’re happy and fulfilled and free, you can share that with people around you and they want you to keep going because you’re bringing happiness to their life.

        Does that all make sense?


  2. Pianoman888

    9. Nothing is type is grammatically correct.

    This iz selff explanatory.

      • Cockblock

        Everyone who still thinks it’s all about the proper way of putting ideas into words, didn’t really get the point here, I guess. 😀

  3. Ben

    Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Thank you! Though I wonder… how would all this change from person to person? I know that the desire to be free, happy, and fulfilled runs through all of us. But what if someone had a different purpose for coming here?

    • LoGun

      Well, for me, it’s the same thing. How do you currently feel —-> how do you want to feel —–> How can you bridge the gap that puts you in control?

      Try it with any expereince. As far as I can work it, it fits with all of them.

      Connection, power, validation, appreciation, acceptance. All of them fit this same model.


  4. Nick T

    Having your shit sorted and your ability to interact with women are separate issues if you ask me. But in the end its about ‘purpose’

    4. You need to have your shit together before you start meeting women

    I don’t think you NEED to have your shit sorted, but it helps. If your looking for a meaningful relationship/interaction with a woman/women and you plan on opening yourself up, wouldn’t you WANT to have your shit sorted? Or on the flip side, if you were a woman, wouldn’t you wan/like/be attracted to someone who had their shit sorted? It shows a sense of organization, planning, purpose, drive, ambition.

    AI teaches purpose, having goals and being held accountable when you slack from them. I’d like to imagine woman or no woman in your life you’d keep this in mind.

    Keep in mind if your goal is to just go out and bed heaps of girls with no further interaction then this is a moot point… but I’d also ask why are you reading AI and not some other PUA article. AI has so much more to offer than just sleeping with woman, it offers a fulfilling, purposeful and meaningful life. And included with that deep meaningful connections with women.

    5. When you get your shit sorted, women will fall into your lap without you doing anything.

    I agree with Logun on this one, just because you have your shit sorted doesn’t mean you still don’t need to make the effort to go out and interact with women.

    But again it helps. I remember a thread in the AI forums somewhere about confidence and self-worth/value. Somewhere in there we talked about “demonstrating value” and “negs”, all that PUA crap.

    I still maintain that if you concentrate on making yourself a better person, sorting out yourself and your own life. You don’t need tricks or gimmicks to get women.

    Seriously… you know those days where you just feel good, and I mean GOOD, from your core, your being/soul you can feel that aura permeate and radiate from your body, head to toe. Those days you feel like nothing can bring you down… well have you noticed that when you interact with other people on days like that they can feel that vibe from you too?

    I think having your shit sorted is kind’ve like that. You don’t have to walk around advertising that you’re sorted, but if you are in a good spot in your life and you have things in order people who you interact with will feel that too.

    Having your shit sorted isn’t the sole factor in having the confidence to interact with women, but when you do have your shit sorted you can atleast think to yourself “my shit is sorted and I’m happy to have someone else amazing be part of it!”

    Just my two cents… from a guy who’s had interactions with many women, I decided to take a year off, that’s not to say I’ve decided to stop interacting with women, but I’ve decided to stay single for some time. Mean while I’ve also decided to concentrate on other areas of my life such that when I’m ready to consider committing to someone again that the rest of my life is at point which I’m happy with.



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