Definitive Guide To Fixing Your Inner Game.

Alright, so you’ve come to fix this whole ‘women’ thing and you think you need to work on your inner game.

Sweet. But do you know what you’re actually working on?

The seduction community’s really good at telling people that their inner game needs work…

..but they don’t actually tell you what that is, so I’m going to break it down for you into a couple of very manageable pieces..

..and then show you how changing your inner game can ELIMINATE the need for learning ANY outer game.

Firstly, we need to separate the inner game and the outer game.

To quote the guy who originally coined the term ‘inner game’ back in the 70’s, Mr Timothy Gallway:

“In every human endeavour there are two arenas of engagement: the outer and the inner.”

The inner is the way you experience the world. The outer is the way you interact with the world.

Your inner game determines your experience of her telling you to go away, your outer game determines what actions you take.

There’s a whole bunch of guys out there who can give you tips on what to do, so I’m going to stick with what I know: your experience – the inner game.

Your experience of the world isn’t just one big element.

Just like outer game, it’s determined by a few different parts. They work in layers and just like an onion, dig down to the core.

So, lets start at the outside and work in.

How you feel.

The primary influencing factor of how you experience the world is how you feel – your state.

I’m going to guess that you’ve had at least one experience in your life where you were in such a good state that it didn’t matter what people did or what happened, they couldn’t phase you.

On the flip side, I’m sure you’ve had experiences where you were so volatile that the smallest, most insignificant thing would completely set you off.

(Just as a side note: if this is the case, is it the external element that’s the issue and the cause of you problems or is it your mood?)

It’s this state that you’re in that is the first layer of your inner game.

But you don’t just decide to feel good or bad. You don’t just wake up one day and look at the sky and think:

‘Well, I think I’m going to feel shit today. That sounds good.”

There’s underlying factors at play here. And the first one is:

Your focus.

How you feel about your world is determined by where you’re focussing.

At any one point in time, there’s really positive and empowering stuff going on in the world and there’s negative and disempowering stuff.

Your mind is structured so that it can only take in a small amount of information at any one point in time.

Where you direct your attention determines what information you actually take in. It the information that you take in that determines how your state.

Is the guys who sits in front of the TV all day watching news all day, watching news stories about the wars and violence around the world..

..who spends his time focussing on the misery and pain that he and everyone else is experiencing going to feel great?

I doubt it.

Is the guy who lives in Hawaii, spending his days surfing in the warm water and the perfect waves and focussing on the beauty and perfection that nature has to offer..

..focussing on the activities that he enjoys, going to feel good? Well, he’s got a much better chance than the pain guy.

So, which one of these guys is ‘right’?

Is either way more true than the other way? Well, yes and no.

The way of seeing the world is definitely ‘true’ for the guy experiencing it but is it globally true? Is it absolutely true?

Is the world a cruel and painful place of is it a beautiful and wonderful playground? It’s neither.

There’s plenty of stuff you’re going to love and plenty of stuff you’re going to hate going on all around you, the question you have to ask is what are you focussing on?

But you don’t just choose a focus.

It’s not like you woke up one day and went “Hmm… I’m going to focus on painful things today. That sounds great, thanks.”

There’s a layers beneath that is the primary determining factor in your focus.

Your purpose.

The thing in your life that you choose to focus on are a product of what you’re trying to achieve – your purpose.

Your purpose is the thing that you’re trying to achieve in any given moment. It can change from moment to moment but there’s always something that you’re trying to achieve.

If your purpose is to prove how scary and dangerous the world is..

..or to find a scape goat for all the fear you experience in your day, then you’re much more likely to spend time watching the news for stories about the dangers and problems that exist in the world.

If your purpose is bring as much pleasure into your life as possible and to celebrate all the blessings that we’re afforded every day..

..then then you’re much more likely to spend as much time as possible doing the activities that you enjoy, and if you happen to like surfing..

..then you’re going to spend your time focussing on how much you enjoy the waves.

In psychology, this is called ‘confirmation bias’.

When we receive information into our world, we extract the parts of that information that confirm the way we see the world and we discard the parts that don’t.

Does it mean that the pain and suffering that is experienced in other parts of the world is diminished? No.

But it just means that you’re choosing not to direct your attention to it because it doesn’t help you get what you want.

Our brains are fantastic at working out what’s necessary for us to pay attention to and what’s completely unnecessary.

If we weren’t we wouldn’t have made it to where we are today.

There’s no point in getting caught up in paying attention to the beautiful flowers when a sabertooth is about to eat you. It’s just not productive.

But what’s different about these two guys that means one guy spends his time focussing on the pain and suffering that goes on around..

..and the other guy focuses on how much he can enjoy himself?

You don’t just wake up one day and think:

‘Hmmm… Today I’m going to prove how painful the world is…’.

You guessed it – there’s a deeper layer. That layer is how you think you get what you want out of life.

The Pathway

The purpose that you choose in any given moment is determined by how you think you get what you want out of life.

This is your overriding goal, your mission. It’s the bigger picture.

If you think that in order for you to get what you want out of life, the external world has to be the way you want it to be and match your idea of perfection, then you’re going to be focussed externally.

If you’re not getting what you think want, then you’re going to focus how shit the world is.

You’re going to look at all the different ways that the world is preventing you from experiencing what you want.

If you ARE getting what you want, then you’re still going to focus on the shit parts of the world but you’re also going to focus on the good parts of the world.

If you think that in order for you to get what you want out of life, you need to go and do the things that fill you with joy..

..then you’re not going to be focussed externally on what the external conditions are like. Rather, you’re going to be focussed internally on what you can do.

If you’re not getting what you want out of life then you’re going to focus on what you can do to experience it. If you are getting what you want out of life then you’re simply going to focus on doing more of it.

This is the core element to the whole puzzle.

How you think you get what you want out of life determines what you’re trying to achieve, which determines where you focus, which determines how you feel.

And one thing to consider here: how much of an impact how you feel has on your actions?

Yes, there are learned habits that play a role in this but for the most part, it’s the deeper, underlying layers that are controlling this chain.

So, if you want to change your inner game, you can go about it any way you want. But I highly recommend start at the top and work your way out:

– How do you feel when you’re interacting with women?

– What are you focussing on that’s causing that feeling?

– What are you trying to achieve that’s directing that focus?

– And what does your purpose tell about the way you think you get what you want out of life?



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