Improving Self Esteem – is it really the solution to your issues?

There are plenty of articles out there on how to improve self esteem..

.. but this one will be different.

I’m going to ask a deeper question that you must consider before you embark down the journey of trying to improve your self-esteem:

Is improving self esteem really the answer to your issues?

I know this must seem like a stupid question, but it’s something you must consider before you decide that the path of developing rock solid self-esteem is the path for you.

The only way to answer the question ‘should you bother improving self esteem?’ is to look at the layer behind it. And that layer is ‘why?’

Why do you want to improve self-esteem?

Improving self esteem isn’t an end point – it’s a pathway. You’re trying to improve self-esteem for a reason. So, what’s your reason? Why do you want to be improving your self-esteem in the first place?

It’s only once you take a closer look at your ‘why’ that you can tell whether or not you should bother with it.

What’ s your end point?

If you’re having trouble working it out, imagine the future you’re trying to create with this high self esteem you’re looking for. How do you act? Who’s there? What are you doing? Who’s doing it with you? How do you feel?

And how different is that to your life right now?

I’m not inside your head and I can’t see your future but if you’re anything like every person who comes to me asking to help them improve their self esteem, the reason you’re doing it is because they think you’re going to feel freer and happier once you have it.

You think that once you’ve done improving self-esteem, you’re going to be able to do whatever you want and finally live the life you deserve.

You think that they’re going to be able to approach any woman, get the promotion, and captain the football team. You think that improving self-esteem is the key to finally doing what they want to do.

Does that sound like you? Is that close to what you’re trying to achieve? If so, you definitely shouldn’t be trying to build self-esteem.

You see, you’ve got it backwards. Improving self-esteem doesn’t allow you to live freely and create the life you want. Living freely and creating the life you want allows you to build self-esteem.

Confused? Good, so am I. Oh, hang on. I remember what I was going to say now.

If you focus on improving your self esteem so that you can finally live the life you want, then you’re always going to struggle because of the underlying mindset behind this pathway.

That mind set is: In order to be able to do x, I need y.

In order to be able to talk to that woman, I need to feel confident.

In order to be able to say what I think, I need to feel accepted.

In order to be able to do the things I want, I need to have high self-esteem.

If you’re waiting for all these things to be perfect before you do what you want, you’re always going to be waiting.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect. Ever.

You’re always going to be nervous around the girl of your dreams because she’s the girl of your dreams.

If you weren’t nervous, then she probably wouldn’t be the girl of your dreams. If you wait for the nerves to go away before you talk to her then you’re only going to end up settling for girls who you’re not that attracted to.

You’re always going to be waiting to say what you think because there’s no way to get EVERYONE to accept you. Not possible. You’re always going to be holding yourself back and not developing the deep connections that can only come from opening yourself up.

You’re never going to do what you want because your self-esteem is never going to be just high enough. It’s very natural to doubt and when you do, you’re going to hold yourself back.

Improving self-esteem isn’t the answer to being able to live the life you want. At best, it’s a temporary solution to living up to half your potential.

Is that the kind life you came here to find?

The only way to live the life you want is to learn to take the actions you need to take, regardless of how you feel, not because of it. It’s only when you can do this that you move into the world of endless possibility.

You don’t need super-high self-esteem to talk to the hot woman walking down the street because your levels of self-esteem don’t hold you back.

You don’t need to be improving self-esteem for months to share what you really think because your levels of self-esteem don’t hold back .

You don’t need to build self-esteem to do anything because you’re not limited by how much self-esteem you have!

To find our more about improving your self-esteem, get a copy of Seduction Community Sucks by following a link below.


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One Response

  1. guillermo

    “learn to take the actions you need to take, regardless of how you feel, not because of it”. This is the key for me. How do you do that??

    I´ll tell you an experience I had. For six days in a raw I´ve been doing daygame, and my purpose was to feel powerful and my focus was in the life I wanted to create and it was the most powerful feeling that I ever had in my life, so much that i was scare and it was like my mind was going to explode. I was being rejected but didnt matter becouse I was trying to experience power whitin mysefl, and I felt more powerful thatn the day before til I could handle it anymore. It´s like I said “Noo, I´m loosing my power!”

    Yesterday was the day I was supoused to complete my 1 week of my 30 day challenge, but I didn´t feel powerful and today I felt worse and I stoped because It didn´t make sense to me to take the action (approach 1 girl a day). Not only I felt powerless, frustrated, etc but sad and depressed, which for me are the worst two feelings in my life. I felt off and if I had taken action was going to be for the sake of taking action and not becouse I really want.

    So the cuestion again: ¿ how do you learn to take the actions you need to take, regardless of how you feel, not because of it?. I think is not becouse the propouse, but because I was disengaged from it. Any sugestions?


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