Why You Will NEVER Become A Man

How long will it take you to become a Man?

And I’m not just talking about an adult male here. Age is not a factor. I mean that strong, powerful, authentic, courageous Man that women are drawn to.

A month? A year?

Maybe 10 years?

Well, I’m sorry to be the one to disappoint you, but if you’re giving yourself even a week, you may as well be giving yourself 100 years because you’ll never become a Man.


Because if you’re giving yourself any amount of time before you become the authentic, committed, courageous Man that you know you can be, then somewhere in your mind, you have to be thinking that there’s something you need to collect / achieve / do before you become a Man.

That there’s some arbitrary set of goals to achieve before you can bestow that title upon yourself.

But a Man isn’t defined by the number of objects he’s collected or the amount of activities he’s done. There’s no specific set of things he has to purchase, do, or achieve to become a Man.

A Man is defined by how he lives his life in this present moment and that can only happen in this present moment.

You can’t ‘become’ a Man. You are either being a Man or you are not being a Man.

You are either living your life with integrity, authenticity, dedication, independence, and courage, in this present moment or you are not.

You’re either pushing through challenges with determination and commitment, or you are not.

You’re either deeply aware of where you’re going and what you believe to be true in your heart in this present moment, or you are not.

There’s nowhere to go, nothing to achieve, nothing to collect, nothing to create to become the kind of Man that women naturally adore.

There is only: how you’re choosing to live your life in this present moment?

Look around you. Look at the walls that surround you, the desk you’re sitting at, the clothes you’re wearing, look at everything that exists in this very moment and ask yourself:

How am I going to live my life in this very moment?

And then once this very moment is done, ask yourself again:

How am I going to live my life in this very moment?

And then once you’ve finished with this easy moment, when there are no challenges to face and no hurdles to overcome and you’re finally standing toe-to-toe with the tough decisions you usually run from, where you have to put your morals, beliefs, and courage to the test, ask yourself:

How am I going to live my life in this very moment?

And not ‘How do I want to’ but the very real, present moment, committed version:

‘How WILL I live my life in this present moment?’

Because if you’re reading this, and you’re wondering why women aren’t drawn to you, and why sometimes things feel so challenging it hurts, and why sometimes you feel so alone that you want to cry, it’s because you’ve been making a different decision in the present moment.

You’ve been choosing, to be weak, you’re choosing to be needy, you’re choosing to be dependent, and you’re choosing to be clingy, in this present moment.

You’ve been choosing to run from your barriers, you’ve been choosing to hide from challenges, in this present moment.

You’ve been choosing to live someone else’s version of the ideal life rather than passionately pursuing your dreams, in this present moment.

There is no such thing as ‘becoming’ a Man because there’s nothing to ‘become’. There is either being a Man or not being a Man.

And whether or not you’re being a Man is determined by the decision of how you will live your life in the ever evolving present moment.

It’s not a level or endpoint defined by the amount of trophies you can collect or the notches on your belt. Being a Man is a way of life.

This is why your journey will never be done. This is why you’ll never be finished.

You will never have enough cars or slept with enough women or have enough money in your bank account to become a Man, and you will never be able to relax knowing that now, everything is complete.

You will have to make the decision, the tough decision, in every present moment for the rest of your life.

You can choose to live your life with integrity, honour, and courage, and be the kind of Man you know you can be for 30 years, and then you can decide to be dependent and needy and all of a sudden, you’re back at square one again.

There is no end point because the only time your present moment will ever finish is when you’re dead and buried.

So, as you move forward for the rest of the day, I want you to ask yourself one question:

How am I going to live my life in this present moment?

Become consciously aware, in the present moment, of what you’re doing and how you’re choosing to live your life.

When you see all the moments where you choose weakness, fear, and dependence, make a new choice.

Choose strength. Choose authenticity. Choose courage. Choose to take responsibility for your life. Choose to become the Man of your dreams.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

Because that is the ONLY way to EVER be a Man.





P.S. If you want to understand more about why you’re making the decisions you’re making and what you need to do to change it, download your free copy of Seduction Community Sucks from directly below.

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29 Responses

  1. Breathe

    This is one of the simplest, yet most profound and important realizations.

  2. Trevor

    I love this article. I read it every other day. I really like when you call the stuff we collect, garbage. Haha! I had a laugh and had to share it with my friend. So very true. Supremely written. Thank you

  3. ron

    It was 12 AM when I read it. I got my ass up, stopped procrastinating and starting cleaning up the house, something I want to do but avoid doing.

    I’ve done everything I wanted to do, and now when I wake up tomorrow I’m going to continue this. I have a shit load of fears through out the day that I can have fun with. It’s time to be aware of them and take charge.

    Typing that sentence out just made me feel like I have a knot in my stomach. I’m always fearing something, and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of letting it stop me from being a man. It’s hard to explain, but the fears feel so damn strong, almost overpowering. But I guess that could just be me being weak.

    It’s always the same fear, the fear of socializing. I don’t even know if it’s the fear of socializing. I honestly don’t know where it comes from or what I’m even fearing. All I know is that when I want to speak, I feel fear. I always second guess what I want to say. This is in general, with everyone.

    I’m sick of this shit, so I’m done with it. I want to take action now but there’s one thing on my mind:

    When I want to say something, and I feel fear and stop, should I say what I want to say anyway? See, right now I’m having the fear of seeming unnatural if I do that. My mind is now telling me I’m not going to know what to say if I seem unnatural and they’ll think I’m weird because of it. Fear after fear. It’s incredible! I want to MAN the fuck up right now!

  4. Peter

    I read this article and Rudyard Kipling’s “If” every other day.

    • Leigh (LoGun)

      It’s a beautiful poem. I’ve read it a couple of times now and I always come back to it.

      Great to hear you enjoyed the article.

  5. Andres Casarrubias

    Hi ! This is an awesome article, but raises some questions in my head …

    You see sometimes through the day I see this beautiful or attractive girl that catches my attention, but something happens … I don’t think it’s fear anymore or anxiety I mean those emotions are still there but I can now overcome them and continue … I have read Endgame but I still don’t understand this, By reading this article I found in myself the motivation needed to take action, since there’s no other way, but back to the girl, I see that girl and I guess approaching her it’s the though choice right ? I have done that before and something feels weird like no matter what I say I’m still trying to get something from her and since I’m not going to say “Hey can you respond to me nicely so i can feel good about myself for a while ? Oh and have dome sex with me ? Thanks ! 🙂 … Haha well i could but that’s not going to get me very far … So what’s the though choice ? Approaching her and making her responsible for how i feel ? Or not approaching and take control of how i feel ? .
    P.S. If is the second choice how would that be ?
    Awesome work with the site !! Really really thank you ! 😀


      • Andres Casarrubias

        Oh ! you know it’s funny i have read Endgame and i think that most of the articles in AI and till now i come to realise that it takes time at least for me to realise this kinf of stuff, maybe that is what “Turn Up the Volume” means, but i think the biggest change i’ve noticed is that I now realise that it’s just a matter of choice, of every day taking a conscious choice.

        But to do that you first have to know what is it that you want … what my idea of my perfect world is … I know i have a long way to go, and many things to realise, do you have any advice ?

  6. Jammer

    If she likes you and you have sex, great.

    If she doesn’t, still great, because someone else already is.

    LoGun is right on this one.

  7. John

    Good job, the ebook is marvellous.
    I have been searching weeks in order to find something else than “the Mystery” and “PUA methods”, as they seem too shallow and temporary. Thanks again.

  8. Shaun wall

    I really loved this article. Where I have confusion is that if “I do what I want when I want, women will just want to be around me.” I don’t want to come off demanding or self centered. But I also don’t want to be unconfident and passive. I’m missing th middle ground here.

  9. Nickolaidas

    Basically, as I read and read and read articles about this website, I don’t really think I need to read any more.

    Basically, the authors and the articles say four things (about men):

    A) The less fucks you give about the world, the manlier you become.
    B) The more activities of daily life you perform on your own, the manlier you become.
    C) The more you do what makes you feel good and what feels rewarding (for you), the manlier you become.
    D) The less you let a woman influence your thoughts and actions, the more she admires you for it. And the manlier you become.

    I think that’s about it.

  10. Akshay

    “This is why your journey will never be done. This is why you’ll never be finished.” Loved the article Leigh, I couldn’t stop my hands from clicking the share button. Very Insightful knowledge. Thanks a lot 🙂

  11. Andrew C.

    The world had worn me down.

    This has re-ignited the fire in my belly that i used to have. I’d always rejected that PUA stuff that my friends would tell me about. Even so, it crept into my consciousness just enough to mess sh** up. Then i found “Her” a month or two ago. (and you know the rest) A little while ago i began Googling that stuff to see what she might think i thought. [It’s an uphill battle to resist the PUA tricks. and i needed to know what i was resisting. But i had nothing to lean on, nothing proactive.] So the tricks crept in and f***** up my thinking.

    Then i found Attraction Inistitute, and this stuff, and felt new strength return. I’m grateful for all you guys have done. It’s not the validation i was looking for. It’s better.

    It’s reinforcement of the fact that there is no “Map”, no fate but what we make.

    Thank you.

  12. Willis Stack

    We don’t need to seduce we simply need to be real and up front

  13. Roger

    There is an element of the shallow in this even though it has a single profound kernel of truth. Essentially it says: never think about the past, or dwell on the future or the pros and cons of a situation, just be a simple present-moment decision-making machine where the decision is: this is what I want and I’m going to make it happen…

    Well, it’s not like we haven’t heard that before. It has a long philosophical pedigree and pops up in less-than-palatable political ideologies like ‘libertarianism’. There’s a lot to be said for living in the moment rather than daydreaming while the present flounders; it’s the basis of all the ‘mindfulness’ washing all over the place currently and the Eckhart Toll acolytes. A little bit of analysis about how people have become distracted from present-moment living is absent. We live in a culture that thrives on empty promises and ease of acquisition – not just things but also skills and ideas – and one where we are trained to project into the future (partly for legitimate and obvious reasons since live-for-the-day philosophies can be a little reckless). Being a man is hardly ‘being a man’ when all one is doing is aligning oneself with a culture of individualism projected onto you from without. That doesn’t make you ‘the boss’, not even of yourself. Not everything is subjective.

    I think that even though, as you rightly say, a woman respects and is drawn to a man who is confident about his sense of self, there also needs to be a level of flexibility in his thinking and a even a little vulnerability. I don’t think any women like men who are 100% ‘in control’.

    Maybe a little more nuance and practical explanation is required rather than the constant repetition of one or two observations? I realise that it’s easy to fall into the same trap as old-school PUA and over-analyse everything, butthe other extreme is no better. Koans require too much interpretation.


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