All Women Are Bitches!

Been hurt by women in the past?

Sick of getting left on the sidelines?

Not getting the attention from women you deserve?

Bloody b*&ches! How dare they treat you like that… You deserve MORE! You deserve respect, admiration, appreciation! All women are bitches…

Before you freak out and start wondering what the f*ck is going on in my brain, take a second to chill.

I don’t believe this. In fact, my beliefs are MUCH closer to the opposite than to this trash.

But I’m seeing this attitude around more and more on various forums from frustrated and angry guys.

Obviously, this kind of attitude is never going to help you attract truly high quality women so if this is what you’re feeling and want to change it, you need to read this post.

And even if you don’t, then you should read it anyway. There are 8 steps towards the end that you can implement straight away and see massive gains in no time at all.

Here are the 4 steps you need to go through to start appreciating beautiful women rather than hating on them.

 

Step 1: Understand the situation

 

Getting ignored by women sucks. Getting rejected by them can hurt. Getting laughed at can be painful.

I know because I’ve been there myself. I’ve looked in her eyes, opened my heart and shared how I felt, and been left with nothing but a cold and unforgiving stare.

I blamed women a lot – for the pain, the frustration, and the embarrassment.

Until one particularly introspective day, I asked myself a very important question:

“Why?”

- Why was I being ignored? There were plenty of other guys that weren’t being ignored, why was I being ignored.

- Why was I being rejected? There were plenty of other guys that weren’t being rejected.

- Why was I being laughed at? There were plenty of other guys not being laughed at.

What was different about them?

The obvious truth was more painful than the lack of attention, rejection, and laughter combined.

I was being ignored because they didn’t find me interesting. Women were paying attention to the guys they were interested in and ignoring the ones who weren’t.

I was being rejected because they didn’t find me attractive. Women were flirting with the guys they were attracted to and were rejecting the ones who weren’t.

I was being laughed at because I was worthy of being laughed at. Women were laughing at the dorky, boring, losers and laughing with the cool, fun guys.

It wasn’t the fault of the women. It was all on my shoulders. I was either being too needy and clingy or approaching women who clearly weren’t ready to be approached. I was either holding myself back and not talking about interesting things or I was approaching women who weren’t my type.

If you’re hurting, if you’re sick of being laughed at, if you’re sick of being ignored, it’s time to stop looking outside yourself and start looking inside.

Yes, there are external forces at play. Yes, you can’t control how she feels about you. Yes, she might just be a bitch. But, there is always something that you contributed to the situation that you can change.

If you were being real, powerful, authentic, and approaching confident, radiant, and strong women, then you wouldn’t be rejected.

If you were expressing yourself openly and freely and approaching women who valued that kind of expression then you wouldn’t be ignored.

Women aren’t the problem. You’re the problem.

This might come as a rude shock. This might even make you angry, but at the end of the day, when you strip the problem right back to the core, this is all that’s left.

It’s your fault that women are ignoring you.

It’s your fault that women are rejecting you.

It’s your fault that women are laughing at you.

It’s not their fault. It’s yours.

 

Step 2: Discover the true source of pain

 

I want you to imagine a different version of yourself:

- One that’s confident, powerful, free, and open
– One that has an intrinsically rewarding life filled with deep and powerful connections, where you get to wake up every morning and make a real difference to the world
– A version of yourself that has you excited when you wake up in the morning and feeling a deep sense of completion when you lie your head down to sleep at the end of the day.

I want you to imagine this version of yourself walking through the morning sun, basking under its tender touch as you move from one exciting possibility to another.

As you round a street corner and scan your eyes through the crowd, you catch your first glimpse of her.

At first, all you can see is a soft halo of light as the sun catches the fringes of her hair. But as she bounces and glides through the crowd, you can see more: the radiant smile, the warm eyes, the effortless way she floats amongst the thriving crowd with ease. Nothing seems to phase her as she makes her way towards you.

Spending the last week pushing towards what you believe is a beautiful and worthy cause has left you feeling strong, in control, and powerful and you decide to put it all to good use.

“Hi” you announce with a warm smile when she gets within hearing distance.

Her big eyes track your voice back to your lips and she lifts them to meet your gaze.

As the first hint of a smile starts to draw across her face, she turns her eyes forward again and keeps walking down the street.

She doesn’t stop.

She doesn’t chat.

She doesn’t ask your name and she doesn’t give you hers.

She just keeps walking on her way.

In that moment, how do you think you would feel?

And not the current ‘you’, but the new version of you.

- The version of ‘you’ that finds his sense of self worth in the work he does rather than in the way people respond to him.
– The version of you that connects deeply with all people rather than just waiting for a beautiful woman to come along and fill that empty hole in his life.

Would you be upset that she didn’t stop? Maybe.

Would you be disappointed? Probably.

Would you be crushed, shattered, and devastated? Doubtful.

Why? Because that interaction, or any interaction with any woman, didn’t determine how you felt about your life.

You weren’t relying on that interaction to go well so you could feel like a real man, and so you weren’t torn to pieces when it didn’t.

You lived your life fully, freely, and openly, and were able to experience everything you wanted, regardless of how women responded to you, not because of it.

And because of that, it didn’t mean so much when things didn’t turn out how you wanted them to.

Now contrast this with how you live your life now and how that could leave you dependent on women to feel good.

And how that could leave you angry and in pain when things don’t go your way…

Think about it.

Women don’t cause you pain. You cause you pain.

You live an unrewarding and unfulfilling life, making other things in life responsible for how you feel.

You depend on women to feel strong, worthy, valuable, and powerful, and then get left feeling empty and alone when they don’t want to be part of your life.

It’s not their fault. It’s yours.

 

Step 3: Understand the importance of ownership

 

Knowing that it’s all your fault is simultaneously the worst and best thing to know.

The reason it’s the worst is because it puts everything back on your shoulders.

Every time a woman rejects you? It’s your fault.

All the pain you felt in the past? It’s your fault.

Every time you wake up feeling frustrated, alone and empty? It’s your fault.

When you create something, you have to take full responsibility for it.

The ball is in your court.

But this is also the greatest blessing possible.

When the balls in your court, you control the rules of the game.

If you’re responsible for her not being attracted to you, then you can change that.

If you’re responsible for all the pain in your past, you can eliminate all the pain in the future.

When you create something, you have the power of eliminating it for good.

Taking full ownership of a situation gives you the power to change the situation to whatever you want it to be.

If you still believe that the world is responsible for your life situation and how you feel about it, then the world around you is the only thing that can ever change your life situation or how you feel about it.

You’re a leaf blowing in the wind.

You’re a victim of your reality and forever will be.

It’s only once you take full responsibility for what’s happened and how you felt when it happened that you can EVER hope to eliminate it for good.

This is the importance of ownership. It puts full control of your life back in your hands and takes it out of those who have no interest in seeing you succeed.

 

Step 4: Take Control

 

Knowing what the problem is doesn’t change anything.

Realising you’re on fire doesn’t stop you from being burned.

Watching a car speed head first into yours doesn’t make the damage any less severe.

To stop blaming and resenting women, you need to shift the fundamental mechanism that was responsible for you blaming them in the first place.

How do you do this?

Well, I’m going to drift away from giving deep advice about transforming your core here. Why? Because whilst that’s all good and fun and that level of self awareness is necessary to make HUGE shifts in your life, so it taking action.

So, instead of giving you deep advice, I’m going to give you 8 tools you can use right now to start making changes.

When you combine these with the other self awareness exercises and tools on this blog, you’re going to see huge differences to your life.

1. Declutter your life

Get rid of anything you own thats sole purpose is to change someone else’s opinion of you. Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you own simply because you thought someone else might like you more because you own it. Go through your cupboards and throw out everything you held on to because you thought it might one day impress someone.

2. Ruin the story

One of the ways you’ve been making other people responsible for your happiness is by telling them stories about yourself. You’ve been telling them you’re cool / interesting / fun / exciting by selectively including and withholding information about yourself.

As long as they believe those stories are true, you’re going to find it hard to break out of them.

Ruin the story by telling them the complete truth. No more half-truths. No more fractions. Just balls to the wall honesty.

3. Stop living your life based on someone else’s life plan

Stop living the life that someone else has prescribed for you. Stop following their rules. Stop ANY activity you’re currently participating in, just because other people have told you that you should be there.

If you’re just doing something because other people have told you it’s the right thing to do, then it’s never going to be intrinsically rewarding. It’s always going to be less than what you’re looking for.

4. When you wake up in the morning…

Instead of focussing on everything you’re going to have to do that you don’t want to do when you crawl out of bed, ask yourself ‘What is one thing I need to do today to feel fulfilled and satisfied with my day?’

5. When you get yourself into a sticky situation…

Instead of asking ‘Whose fault is this?’, ask ‘How did I contribute to this and what could I have done differently?’

6. When you find yourself with nothing to do…

Instead of just wasting your time away, filling in the blanks with mind numbing distractions such as TV and surfing the internet, ask yourself ‘What could I do, right now, that would help me feel fulfilled and satisfied?’

7. When you find yourself angry, upset, or frustrated…

Instead of looking outside yourself for someone / something to blame, ask yourself ‘What did I do that contributed to this and how could I make sure it doesn’t happen again?’

8. And then, when all this is said and done…

Take action. Take action. Take action. Don’t sit on your arse. Nothing changes till you take action.

There’s no point in knowing that you’re responsible for your life situation if you don’t do anything to change it. There’s no point in knowing that you’re responsible for the pain and frustration you go through if you don’t do anything to eliminate it.

You will not become more satisfied and fulfilled by having all this information and sitting on your arse.

Nothing changes till you take action. Nothing.

Get up, do something, make a difference, and take control.

 

In Conclusion…

 

It’s all your fault.

It’s your fault that women ignored you, it’s your fault that women rejected you, it’s your fault that women laughed at you, and it’s your fault that you felt shit when they did.

And because it’s all your fault, you have the power to change it.

When the ball’s in your court, you set the rules.

You can become more attractive. You can become more interesting. And you can do it in a way that means you’re not dependent on nice smiles and flirty arm touches to feel good about yourself.

So there are no more excuses, no more reasons, no more defences for sitting on your arse and blaming the world around you.

If you’re lost, scared, or simply don’t know where to start, then you can get help.

Get Real is a proven, 5 week program designed specifically to help you take complete control of your reality and become the attractive, confident, interesting Man that women naturally desire.

To find out more details, including the $300 bonus that the first 5 subscribers will get when the doors open on 30th July, follow this link:

http://www.attractioninstitute.org/programs/get-real

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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94 Responses

  1. Jammer

    You Bloody b*&ch! How dare you treat a woman like that… Women deserve MORE! They deserve respect, admiration, appreciation! You sir – are a bitch…

    I think most guys (people in general) turn themselves into bitches because it gives blame to others and lets them off the hook, just once. Then they go and continue with this victim mentality, which is very addictive. There’s a small adrenaline rush which comes from being bailed out of a mess we created, which was learned in childhood when Mum said “Oh son, it’s OK. I’ll clean that up for you, JUST DON’T DO IT AGAIN!” Next time your response might be, “Oh, Peter did it” (smirk)

    However, it’s also a vicious cycle which leads to more bitchiness and a decreasing self worth.

    Sean Stephenson has some quirks, but he taught me a valuable lesson. If I’m feeling bad or helpless, I’ll let myself sit on my ass and sulk… for 15 minutes. After that time elapses, it’s time to FACE this fear and self-pity I’ve spent the last 15 minutes wallowing in.

    Reply
    • Don

      Yes I have given respect and admiration and faithfulness! What have I gotten in return unfaithfulness sex power trips and bullshit! Women are manipulative and controlling! I would be a rich man if it was not for women! Men need to get some balls and work out everyday and focus on being a car guy because my Challenger SRT8 gives me way more pleasure and a lot less headache then my wife!

      Reply
      • maria

        You sir, know nothing about some of us.
        You should blame your poor judgement when choosing a wife. I’m sure she didn’t turn into a completely new person the day after you married her, so you should have seen what her personality was like.

        It’s funny how guys only go after women considered hot, and not beautiful. I’m not one of those people who say the only important thing is personality, that is ridiculous. However, there are plenty of beautiful women who don’t behave ‘hot’, and therefore don’t get approached by guys very often. On top of that, we have to listen to comments such as yours.

  2. oz

    Sorry man, but most of your last “give aways” aren’t really a help. It’s your fault, it’s your fault,…! Why are you don’t trying to give a real help and not an all-time repeating advertisment for your products? Maybe i am the only one but the quality of your blog isn’t the same as one year before. I respect your attitude to earn great money,you got yours i got mine.

    Remember one thing: you only show the way to great and pure wisdom. You can not offer wisdom. Wisdom is a gift not a product you can buy.

    My question finally is, why you writing down these blogposts?

    Have a nice day

    Oz

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Hey mate,

      I’m sorry you feel like that. Tell me, what is it you feel is missing from your life now? What kind of advice do you need?

      I can only give you what you want when you tell me what that is.

      I think the 8 tips at the end of this post happen to be great advice for anyone who’s struggling to find the answers they need so I’m curious to hear what you think is missing.

      I look forward to hearing from you.

      Leigh

      Reply
  3. Stealth

    I agree with the other poster here. Its all your fault? Seriously man? This mind of advice is really shitty as if men are the only ones responsible in interactions.

    Women are just as responsoble for making it work. In my view its 50-50. Yea you can focus on what you can control such as getting fit and being internally validated but the reality is some women are btchrs and its not my fault.

    I find it really immature to assume fault for this and very alike what mainstream pua says. By the way, its also very puaish to say you are responsible for creating attraction. Wtf? Even of you are your best man not every woman will like you, so you cant control how others perceive you.

    And this step by step plan comes across as if its a cosmo article. Im sorry to say its not authentic in my view with how this site came about

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      I didn’t say you could or would be able to attract any woman. I didn’t say you’d be able to pick up any woman by becoming super attractive. I didn’t go on some PUA rant about how you need to learn more attract techniques.

      Yes, there are 1000 different factors that come into play when a woman’s not attracted to you but focussing on the ones that are in her control is a complete waste of time. You will never grow and never become more of the Man you want to be if you just stand around saying ‘Well, she’s just a bitch.’ The only way to grow and take hue steps forward is to own your life, the situations you create, take responsibility, and do what you need to do to make it work.

      If you approach a woman and she’s cold and bitchy to you, then who’s fault is it?

      Well, it could be hers for being a cold bitch. But why are you approaching a woman that’s a cold bitch? What’s wrong with you? Surely she didn’t just transform from a smiling, loving, goddess to a bitch in a second. It had to be written across her face before you walked up to her. Why are you approaching her?

      It’s not your fault that she’s a bitch but she wouldn’t have been a bitch to you if you hadn’t walked up to her in the first place.

      And, she’s only a ‘bitch’ because of the way you’re choosing to look at the situation. If she’s being bitchy, she’s obviously not having a good day. But here you are, not noticing that she’s not in a good mood, approaching her, and then demanding that she’s nice to you. What would change if instead of focussing on how she’s reacting to you if she was in a bad mood, you actually tried to understand her from her perspective? What would change about the situation?

      You could focus on the fact that she’s a bitch and then just blame her, or you cold man up, learn from your mistake, and then grow and become more like the Man you want to be than you were before the situation.

      If I approach a woman and she rejects me then in my eye’s, it’s my fault for approaching a woman that wasn’t ready / wasn’t my type / wasn’t in the mood. Why? Because that’s the only way to grow. That’s the only way to become the Man I want to be.

      If you blame the woman, then there’s nothing you can learn from the situation and no way to grow from it. If you take full responsibility, then it becomes an incredible place to take steps towards the life you want.

      Taking responsibility for your life is the single MOST important step you will ever take. EVER. If you can’t Man up, focus on what you contribute to a situation, and then take the action you need to take to change it, you will never create the life you want. You will always be a victim standing on the side lines say:

      “But it’s her fault too. I’m not to blame.”

      I don’t find it immature to accept full responsibility. In fact, I think it’s the complete opposite. In my opinion, the core difference between a boy and a Man is that a boy is dependent on the outside world — he blames the outside world and expects the outside world to be different in order for him to feel good — whereas a Man takes full responsibility and does what he needs to do to create the life he wants.

      Which one sounds more mature to you?
      1. “Well, it’s not my fault. She was just a bitch!”
      2. “I obviously approached her when she wasn’t in a good mood. I’ll definitely pay more attention to what she’s really going through next time.”

      I don’t know about you but the answer is pretty obvious to me.

      And the recommendations? There is only so many times I can give you exercises to look deeper into your core and see you internal limitations before it becomes pointless. At some point in time, you have to take action. Sitting around and thinking about yourself and your life isn’t going to get you anywhere. You need practical steps you can take when you experience situations that you don’t like. These are those steps.

      I challenge you to take those 8 step and implement them into your life. If you don’t expereince a significant difference in a week, I’ll be incredibly surprised.

      Anyway, I hope that’s cleared everything up for you. Please let me know your thoughts on the questions there. I’m interested to hear whether I’ve explained myself clearly to you.

      Reply
      • Antonio

        Hello I would like to add my opinion to the subject of bitchy women, first of all I agree with a lot that’s been said about taking responsibility and ownership and looking at the situation for what it is, but at the same time in order to meet women u have to approach them right? U can’t always read there body language, women can give mix signals all the time, u can be interesting, cool ,confident, whatever and she can still have her bitch shield up, I think too much is expected of the man, he has to be the one pursuing the woman, with the possibility of her not being interested, but it’s never the other way around, what about qualifying her based on her attitude towards u, you can’t read her mind, women give bad first impressions to, it is not always the man’s fault, give him some credit for at least trying , when u are meeting a stranger for the first time, be it man or woman, you are dealing with a different personality, u have no idea who u are trying to meet.

      • Don

        Just remember ITS A MANS WORLD and as soon as you women hit your 50’s we men of all ages go for the women in their 20’s to 40’s! Thats why you see all these older women all together eating out and hanging out together! If a young guy pays attention to them its only because they want their money and a blow job!!!!!!

    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Oh, and because it’s clear that the core message isn’t clear, I’ve gone through and made a few updates.

      I’ve updated the first step to explain what I’m talking about more and updated the final step to make it clear why those recommendations are in there.

      Does that clear things up?

      Reply
      • Sean

        I agree with everything so far Leigh but how far does this go? In every case and interaction is it my fault? Let’s say if a girl is two-faced,has racists influences and a whole mess of stuff. Is that my fault?

      • Leigh (LoGun)

        No, it’s not your fault that she’s a racist bitch but it’s your fault for talking to her. And it’s your fault when you feel bad when she blows you off.

      • Don

        Okay Leigh you are right in a lot of your comments and myself I love women and really love my wife and for the most part she has been up front and honest with me but I have been angry with her lately because she was in a chat room and met what she thought was a younger guy and it turned out to be a scammer that took her for a lot of money. I was hurt that she was looking for a younger guy and did not understand why as I have always been there for her and am in great shape and work out everyday and I am very easy going and am not a control freak! In her words she was bored! Life goes on so time will tell!

  4. Rory

    You know, after all this time. I think I’m finally ready to bring it. I use to look at the challenges I needed to make this change as scary, full of fear.

    Now it’s a different fear, it’s not like the old kind which threatened me to back off from what I wanted, but instead it’s like encouraging me to go for it.

    I know it sounds wierd, but it feels awesome to me anyway.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      That’s awesome mate. I know how much hard work you’ve been putting in through Get Real so it’s great to see that you’re ready to take the next step.

      Reply
  5. stealth

    @Logun I understand what you are saying. I completely agree that it’s our responsibility to see what we make of the situation and not blame someone else.

    However, this statement is a bit off: ” it’s my fault for approaching a woman that wasn’t ready / wasn’t my type / wasn’t in the mood… he blames the outside world and expects the outside world to be different in order for him to feel good” I don’t agree with.

    See I am with you on not expecting the outside world to make us happy or validated. This applies to women. But, just are there are men out there who are assholes by nature, and have nothing to do with me whatsoever, there are women who are bitches. Denying this is not denying responsibility for your own self validation. Assuming responsibility for how others act is just insane and not an opportunity for growth as I have no say in the matter.

    I do accept responsibility for what I can control. But, how other people will react to me I just can’t, and even though I could care less if I approach a woman and she is bitchy to me, I won’t blame myself for her behavior as you suggested.

    It takes two people to have an interaction, not just one. So the burden does not lie only on me for that matter. I can be the happiest dude on the planet and self validated, but it won’t change the fact that some people will react negatively and that is my point. It’s not my fault.

    “Manning up” to me means setting firm boundaries as to what I will and won’t tolerate. It doesn’t mean assuming the burden of something I can’t control just to make me feel good and “create the life I want”. Is it my fault for approaching someone who I thought was open and friendly and turned out to be mean to others including myself? NO. Does it help to assume the burden of her actions as MY responsibility for something I didn’t do to grow? NO.

    This kind of thinking leads you to blame yourself for how others act all the time, when it really has nothing to do with you. That’s some food for thought. This is not about blaming others, but neither is it about blaming myself only. It’s not a matter of either or, on both extremes, when there are two human beings involved in an interaction.

    By the way, maybe this is not the space to write about this, but in the beginning when you started out I thought your message was refreshing, but what has driven me away from the site is the sales letter feel and marketing in the newsletter and articles. I know you have to sell your stuff, but really your products don’t need much marketing if what you offer is valuable. You ain’t a PUA don’t market like they do.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, just working out what’s really missing here and I think I’ve found it.

      If you can honestly say that you approached her with integrity, honesty, and authenticity, and not only that, you lived your life in that way that meant your honesty, authenticity, and integrity was confident, complete, and caring, and she was STILL a bitch to you, then you could absolve yourself of any responsibility for her being a bitch.

      But even then, you could still ask yourself – why am I approaching this woman? Why didn’t I notice this earlier? And learn from that.

      BUT…

      If you approached her with anything less than 100% authenticity and you’d been living your life in a way that meant your authenticity was powerful, confident, and caring, then there is ALWAYS something you can take responsibility for.

      Because unless you’ve been living your life in that way, and being the powerful, confident, and real when you approached her, you will never know if there’s something more you could have done. She might be a beautiful, loving, and strong woman but the fact that you were being needy (at any level) pushed her over the edge. You don’t know because your lack of strength, integrity, and power was still there.

      My girlfriend is the most loving and most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, yet if someone approaches her and is fake, needy, or dependent, she’ll rip them apart. This includes me.

      I know that if she’s being that way with me, it’s because there’s something about the way I’m living my life that. When I’m confident, strong, and caring, then this isn’t an issue.

      So, let me ask you this:

      The last time you approached a woman and she was bitchy to you, were you being real, confident, and authentic and had the way you’d been living your life allowed that realness and authenticity to be strong, confident, and compassionate? Or was there a something you could take responsibility for and learned from?

      P.S. Thank you for talking this out with me. I’m sure there a more guys reading this who have the same thoughts but just didn’t say it. By talking it out, it’s helped me learn more and understand the point I was really trying to make.

      Reply
      • Don

        CONFIDENCE! CONFIDENCE! CONFIDENCE! The key is confidence! As my mother use to say I could walk in to a bar and pick up a women or two in an hour but my brother could not pick up his feet! Sure there is always one that will put you off but that always made me try harder! Women are like a hot car you have to know what makes them run and how to drive them fast without hitting a tree!

  6. Vladimir

    It’s interesting how when something happens that is good, we generally ‘blame’ ourselves, when something bad happens, we look outside of ourselves to find the cause.
    Regarding doing things for ourselves versus others, I realized that I have to take care of just myself, and then everyone else will come on line, or not. If I’m trying to take care of others and myself, to be strong for them, then there is no chance I will be strong myself. I will inherently follow what the others want, and eventually lose myself.
    I thought I was going down the right path, things were getting better, only to find out that I had left my path, and had started going down her path, and got rightly dropped on my head yesterday.
    It’s a lonely trip, the path where it’s all my fault, the good and the bad, because there no one else to interact with, no one to give you approval, or validation…because you don’t need it. No one is going to blame someone else with you, or tell you that the other person is wrong…because you’re not looking for it.
    I got off the track, without knowing it, living for others, starting to impress, starting to look for validation, and then actually believing it when I got it, or didn’t.
    The mail came at a perfect time, a good wake up call, an inventory check. I have to get back on the path, my path, and be strong, just me.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      That’s wicked to hear mate.

      Realising that you’re responsible is the hardest and most beautiful thing you can ever truly realise. It’s great to hear we’ve been able to help you find that place.

      Reply
    • stealth

      It definitely is a lonely path. Like you said no one will come to rescue you, or shower you with unconditional approval and validation, nor is it their responsibility.

      Reply
  7. Vodka

    The problem is that PUA can generate attraction in all or many women, if she is not attracted to you, then you are not following the steps or method, you are bad! Vomiting.

    Logun, if you tell these guys it was his fault to approach a woman, by the look on her face, then closing them such an important opportunity. Maybe it is projected serious, proud and cold and when you come and say “Hi!” She only opens her heart and I will welcome with a warm and radiant smile. If I do not approach her, not that the other side, inside of her. Only if you get to know you’ll know, no other way, if you draw conclusions from their face, these imagined possibilities that God will know if it passed. That’s not real.

    But I can take responsibility, if I can assume that I can improve.

    Friend, you can not say that a conversation has to be 50-50, because that’s not true, they always give you signs. I can attest I using what LoGun said and I had a thousand things to talk seriously, could never stop talking, they send signals to feed me the conversation always and I’m not talking about what they tell me, speak to nonverbal level. You can be the color of her blouse, can be your name, you can be your smile can be your energy … assuming it’s your fault because you’re not focused enough on her to see the signals they send.

    I take my responsibility. Sometimes fault, if, with this girl I run out of things to say, it was my fault for not knowing how to lead the conversation. Yeah, maybe I was not very funny when I met her, does not generate enough to share my own fun with her. I’m not attractive enough to please, is an indicator that I can develop my potential to be more attractive and push to be the greatest man I can be. But I know that has nothing to do with her being attractive has to do with the way I see life, I face the life I live life and she is just an indicator that has not yet I’m living the lifestyle I want, I can still make my world and the most incredible way I want to be and not sit.

    We do not play with women, we are not going the way PUA, just try to be every day the greatest men that women can be and can not help but be naturally attracted to us because exudamos confidence, charisma and charm for the which they are drawn. Assume responsibility, but also know when external factors played or she was not your type, if not, look like you can reach your potential more attractive.

    Reply
    • stealth

      Conversations don’t have to be 50-50 I agree. But both the man and woman have to put some effort into the relationship or interaction to move forward.

      Even though the man’s conditioned role is to lead, she still has to put some effort in the interaction or relationship to make it work.

      That is where it truly is 50-50. Why would you try to overcompensate for someone who doesn’t bother to make it work? (not saying you are btw)

      Reply
      • Leigh (LoGun)

        Definitely not saying you should compensate for them not wanting to put in their share towards making things work. You’re right.

        But what I am saying is that there’s still a role you play in that.

        Maybe they’re not putting in their share because you’re being needy and dependent. Maybe they’re not putting in their share because they don’t feel loved and appreciated.

        And even if they are a just not interested, it’s your fault for talking to them. There’s always something more you can take responsibility for and use to become more of the Man you want to be.

  8. Vodka

    Oh, men… my english is bad, i speak spanish and the message is great! Ok…

    Reply
  9. Leo

    Hey,these advices are too good to stay only with us..I’m shure everyone who read it would like to say personally a simple ‘thanks,i really mean it’ .And it would be good if we teach people to think this way,not only saying what we read,but with the way we act with others and in our everyday life.And you do it for free man! And we can use it not only with relationships..Finally,your way of thinking gave and will give hope to people.Not a lot,but enought to make a difference !

    Reply
  10. Leo

    ..Even if there are different thoughts..
    We aren’t supposed to agree with all you said here,but you has shown us another perspective,what trully matters is to start thinking with OUR brains,WE decide if we wanna apply all this,just some parts,or nothing in our lifes.
    everybody here needs to realise this.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      GREAT point my friend. I would be very worried if everyone agreed with me because then it would mean that I wasn’t stressing the importance of independent thinking hard enough and you guys were becoming sheep. That’s the last thing I want.

      Reply
  11. Madtequila

    My two cents:
    I noticed one thing really important while aproaching and trying to meet women all of this time. Your feelings are countagious.
    This explains a lot the “bitchy behaviour”. Sometimes we are feeling bad, weird, and after aproach some random woman these feelings are transmited to her, who feels weird and act bicthy to get rid of you.
    Maybe this has nothing to do with a guy being weird or something like that, but has to do with he feeling weird AT THE MOMENT OF THE APROACH.
    Oh, and if you smile and naturally don’t care and keep talking to her friends like SHE is nuts, you’ll simply discard her bitchy behaviour.

    Reply
    • Madtequila

      Another thing very, very important: it’s our responsability, as men, to find the places where there are women we like.
      Here in my city there are many, many clubs: and in each one of them, I can find different kind of women.
      Some clubs have terrible unpolite women… Another ones have cute and friendly girls who often like the same things I do.
      The point is to keep looking for nice women and do a good effort to improve our life because, all generalization is a lie and we can dump with a nice girl anywhere.

      Reply
      • Jammer

        I agree with Madtequila, the male is responsible for Leading the interaction. Borrowing from the great Owen Tyler Cook (some of you may have your views which I respect), “the person leading the interaction is REACTING THE LEAST to the other, and EVERY interaction has a Leader”.

        A man walking into an interaction with a bitchy attitude gives off a bitchy vibe which leads to the woman acting bitchy. Of course some women will play mother to this man and try and help him out of his state, but this is rare and rarely leads to a response of sexual attraction (not mother-son attraction).

        A man walking into an interaction confidently because of his positive mental state and strong belief systems gives off a confident vibe and women will respond in a confident way, though slightly submissive. Of course some women happen to be bitchy and resent his confidence, but would a REALLY confident man walk off with his tail between his legs? NO!!! He’d stick around, laugh at her a little and maybe encourage her to crack a smile. Or he’d brush her off and talk to a new girl or his friends, unaffected and entertained.

        You’ve helped me see more light dude.

      • madtequila

        Glad to help mate!
        Send me and email if you want to talk about anything. I really enjoy talking and learn about women and how to act and make them happy.
        Always is good to exchange knowledge about this!

  12. Pantalones

    One thing you seem to have in common with most of these puas is that you are in good physical condition and you are definitely not ugly,so ppl especially women show more interest and respect to you because of it .
    This Is why it’s so hard for me to accept this “my fault ” jazz. I can’t help the way I look. Though I am not ugly , I am definitely not handsome, so excuse me if this seems like an “easy for YOU to say”kind of reply.
    You guys keep implying that looks don’t play an important and vital part in how we are pegged in life, and if u guys were more on the average side them I’d be inclined to begin to believe some of what you say, but, since in spite of the fact that you all claim that things were different for you in the past and the before and after photos, its hard to not be skeptical and to take you at face value.
    One has to play devil’s advocate and say that you are charismatic enough to be be trying to pull a fast one in spite of the sincere vibe that you give , and in an increasingly difficult world both socially and economically , one has to constantly look over one’s shoulder and remain continuously vigilant.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Sure mate. You do have to be vigilant. I could be trying to pull a fast one on you. This could all be a scam. I could give you the contact details of all the people I grew up with and they could tell you the same story but that could be a scam as well. Without you actually being there, there’s absolutely no way I can prove what happened in the past so it might all be a scam.

      So as there’s no way to prove it either way, I have a suggestion:

      Let go of the question “Is this true or false?” and start asking the questions “How can this new piece of information help me?”

      If you decided to take responsibility for everything in your life, how would that change things for you? If you focused on what you contributed, what you could have done differently, and then taken that action next time, how would your life be different now?

      For example: Think back to your last interaction with a beautiful woman that didn’t go the way you wanted. You have two options here:

      1. You can blame her for being a bitch, walk away feeling shit, stew in your own misery for a while, and then go home alone
      2. Focus on everything you contributed to the situation, find a solution, implement that solution, and keep moving forward with your life

      Which one sounds like it’s going to put you in a more powerful position in life? Which one sounds like it’s going to make you happier, freer, and more confident?

      Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      And on the looks thing, you’re right. I am in good shape. But you know what? I didn’t wake up like this one day. I worked at it.

      I made the decision that I was going to be fit and strong and in good shape and then I got my arse to the gym and got into shape. I didn’t sit around whinging about how it wasn’t fair that I’m not in shape and I didn’t sit around complaining how I don’t have enough energy to get to the gym. I took responsibility, got off my arse, and did something about it.

      Now, I’m not saying that you’re whinging and complaining. Far from it. I’m just telling you how I dealt with the situation and that started by first of all, taking responsibility for the situation.

      Reply
  13. Vodka

    LoGun, i know it, your muscular body is genetics. Yes, Pantalones, for LoGun it was easy.

    But look, if you really are genetically cursed like me, you have to accept that you will have to work a little harder than others, as I do. I’m not physically attractive and if you want, I can show all the photos and evidence of the world and yet I succeed.

    I can only say: This is possible, this is real.

    And once again, the physical does not matter if you’re the kind of man who creates his own fun and shares it with her. Sure! There are women who only value the physical, you will meet them, but never you’ll know if you come meet them. I have approached women who have told me things like “You’re so ugly, I do not want to talk to you” and I wallowed in pain? No. However, if you really want those women who value physical, with effort you can get to have the physical you want, with operations and whatever, but only if you want it, by that I mean there’s always something you can do to create your world the way you want and develop your potential attractive, but not sit.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Really beautiful comment mate. Love it. It’s great to hear such positive words from other guys on this great site we’ve got here.

      Reply
  14. Mark

    The responsibility is yours and yours alone, its how you view the world.

    Today men idolise women, and its what we call the Goddess complex. There is no need to idolise women but one must idolise oneself. Using a simple tactic of ‘i choose’ or ‘my choice’ can change the dynamics of women over men to men over women. You seize control eg., ‘I choose to love you’, ‘I choose to talk to you’, ‘I choose to allow you to love me’… It takes away the power women have over men and installs the power in its rightful place. Even rejection will cease to have an affect as you will clearly state when she says ‘no’, ‘I choose to accept no’.

    Its your choice to say ‘fuck it im in control’.

    Reply
  15. stealth

    Looks definitely matter, don’t be fooled and let anyone downplay this factor. For short term mate choice, meaning one night stands and hookups, there are scientific studies that show women go primarily for looks.

    Reference: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2009.00570.x/full

    http://aleknovy.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/short-term-attraction-vs-long-term-attraction/

    For long term mates, women consider other factors such as social status, fame, personality, etc.

    Of course there are exceptions, but in general terms, and in my experience, what these studies conclude is true.

    Now, I like that Logun places a strong emphasis on empowering men by teaching us to assume complete responsibility for our lives. In that way, every act and decision becomes conscious and we are not led astray by our impulsive reactions.

    However, I personally like to keep my power coupled with realism. I don’t see any fault in asking “is this true or false?”. This kind of question is not to be replaced or let go of as Logun suggested.

    Case in point: there are issues and events out there which are a part of reality that aren’t as simple as replacing “is this true?” for “how can this information help me?” You can’t do this for issues like poverty, cultural customs and dating without getting the big picture.

    My final interpretation of Logun’s point is to first and foremost be firmly rooted in reality by accepting what’s out there: there are women who are bitches, there are tons of assholes, etc. and only then, to proceed to assume complete responsibility not for them or how they reacted, but to act according to my values. If she is bitchy or plays games, fuck it, I have no respect or time for that and I move on, simple as that. No trying to plow or get anything from her.

    So I accept reality as a first step, and then proceed to consciously make decisions and act according to my values.

    @Jammer “A man walking into an interaction with a bitchy attitude gives off a bitchy vibe which leads to the woman acting bitchy.”

    Hey man, you can be all positive and self-actualized and women will still be bitchy. I have a problem with this “vibe” thing as if its some mysterious force that will make women up to you. If you are happy and internally validated, more women may open up to you, or not. So your “vibe” is not the cause for women to open up to you, it only helps and is correlated with it.

    The most important point to realize is that after living the life you want, being self-validated, and having inner peace, you might not get more attention from women than you do now. That is not the point. This type of inner work ain’t supposed to make you a pussy magnet, because if that is your goal, inherently you will always be seeking stuff outside yourself. Do this shit for you and not for women.

    Reply
    • Jammer

      My point was the confident, Real Man was unaffected by her bitchiness. Her vibe is bad, his is still good. There’s no need to change hers if HE doesn’t want to.

      The reason his vibe is still good is because women (and especially this new woman) are not the centre of his universe, in fact this woman has no value to him. Case in point, my girlfriend is bitchy, I take more heed than if a girl I started up a conversation with is.

      Reply
    • Jammer

      From Scot McKay, he explain this a little better than I did.

      “As soon as we allow others to manipulate our values and our resolve, the same people who sought to change our course actually respect us LESS, don’t they?

      After all, seeking approval almost always breeds contempt. You know that already.

      But staying the course, even when not apparently popular, can often build respect–especially when a greater measure of excellence or a higher moral standard was at play than most other people were content to “settle” for.”

      Reply
    • madtequila

      @stealh: yes, looks matters. But not ALL that we usually think it does.
      Of course I would be stupid to think that a really ugly man has the same chances as a bradpit-looking guy.
      But we must have something in mind: the looks you have, helps you only in the first impression you gets from her.
      If a really handsome man aproach a woman and doesn’t know what to talk, express his feelings, build THAT connection… Soon she’ll get bored and try to get rid of him.
      Whereas, if you have an ugly guy, she can YES act bitchy and resist at one first moment because of your looks. But if you take the time to convey to her your personality, showing who you are, your desires and making her feel THAT feeling, man, this guy is gonna have way more chances with her!
      The point is: your looks doesn’t matter when your goal is to achieve hapiness in your life.
      What does it have to do with this subject? If you simply go there to meet her, and are absolutly confident about who you are and who you want to be in your life, your looks won’t matter FOR YOU and this is the most important thing.

      Reply
  16. Rory

    Jammer, I really like you’re take on this.

    Before, I assumed that the woman of my dreams would magically forget whatever problems she was having when I’d approach her and reply happily and confidently.

    Now I realise that’s not leading, that’s just relying on a extremely positive outcome. An “Alpha Male” would just stand up for what he believes in and share his vibe, and even if the girl went to the point of shouting in his face, telling him to fuck off, or laughed at him or whatever, he would have 2 choices depending on how he felt:

    1. Stay, and find out what’s making her act this way and sharing his gift of happiness to see if he could make her feel better.

    2. Leave, knowing that she just wasn’t the kind of girl he wanted in his life right now, no insult or attitude, just a quick decision and a “thank you” and be on his way.

    Reply
  17. Mark

    There will always be dynamics at play when we are involved in the dating game. The unfortunate issue we have in this point in time is ‘women think they are entitled’. The mindset of women is nothing new, they crave superiority over men. Along with this they have been told everything they do is right [whether right or wrong] thus elivating their belief they are better than men. The media has fed us with ‘males are dumb, women are smart’ for so long that men just believe this shit.

    The break through for a male is neither a dating chant, or any other alpha male bullshit. It lies solely at the core of a man to state ‘my fucking choice’. To invest time in a woman is worthless, investing time in yourself is the greatest investment. How does this mindset attract women, simple a woman does not know what the fuck she wants, she needs to be told, be led and be shown what she NEEDS. I would soonner be called an arrogant jerk and walk away with pride intact than pander to some woman who quite frankly doesnt meet my benchmark.

    You guys need to give yourself a break from chasing and pussy pandering. The more you focus on you the less you focus on them.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Hey Mark,

      Thanks for your comment. There seems to be a lot of anger directed externally throughout your post. It sounds like there’s a lot of pain that you’re experiencing and directing outwards at women, at the media, etc… Have you experienced a lot of pain in your past?

      The reason I ask is that there are a lot of statements in your comment that you could use as very effective entry points to help you grow and really move beyond them if you’re interested.

      If you are, start a thread up on the forum with this comment and let me know where it is. We can help you see how you can really empower yourself through this situation.

      Leigh

      Reply
  18. Thund3rX

    Leigh, thank you for this great article. I have put what you described above into practice and it works! I’ve had several relationships but they always ended up badly or abruptly and I was blaming the women for this. Until I started looking within and noticed that I needed to change, I became too vulnerable in the relationships. Women sense this and they drop you like a bag of potatoes.

    But when you have confidence and you live freely, not dependant on women, they will start moving towards you, you become like a magnet. I am not the coolest guy out there but man, this stuff really works!

    Thanks for this great post and keep on writing, it is an inspiration.

    Reply
  19. Wolf

    I think the problem some people here expressed is actually that they might’ve made the single biggest ‘mistake’ of humanity: miscommunication. People are very hung up on the term ‘fault’ and ‘blame’. I think it’s not an inherently bad thing, replace with responsibility. Isn’t what happens inside our heads our responsibilty? Doesn’t 90% of OUR world happen INSIDE our heads? Don’t we DECIDE how we react?
    I think this is what Leigh was getting at.

    I was a ‘choleric’ for about 4 years if not more. I got upset about nuisances. Why? Because I chose to. My remedy was martial arts, something that resonates throughout a lot of the articles here is a statement from martial art philosophy I once read:”There are two lines of power. External and internal. The internal one is endless.”
    Also, don’t ever underestimate your mind. Or how much in control of yourself you actually might be.

    Thanks for reminding me of this and entertaining me, you are an incredibly entertaining writer!

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Great to see you’ve been able to take responsibility and move forward with your life. It’s a very beautiful thing and a great gift to the world.

      It’s also great to hear that you enjoyed the article so much.

      L.

      Reply
  20. Grumpy

    Well, just read your article. now I feel like I want to commit suicide – you know, because it’s all my fault right??
    BS my friend. it’s a two way street. the last three girls that I’ve been talking to have done a 360 on me. I was real, positive, sensitive and funny with them. not to mention giving. maybe they want an A*****e? some women just don’t know how to handle a good guy. plus, all these women came from abusive backgrounds and then they met wonderful me… i’m not tooting my own horn, but I’m a good guy and in no way do i or did I treat women horribly. so, is it still my fault – yes, because I wasted time with the wrong women. unfortunately, this gives me the complex of i’m not worthy. so, I’m giving up on the dating scene cause I like other men I know are sick of the head games and other bs from women. A TRUE WOMEN WOULD KNOW THE GOOD GUY SHE FOUND AND WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES ON HER END TO HELP MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK – COMMUNICATION, RESPECT ETC.. all the others, are simply BITCHES.. thanks for reading.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Thanks for taking the time to share mate. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time.

      Just because you spent time with women who didn’t appreciate you for who you are, it doesn’t make you unworthy. It might make you silly or prone to poor choices but that doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of a good woman.

      If you want to quit the dating scene, then that’s your choice and I’m not going to try and stop you, but if you actually want to find a ‘true woman’ and have an incredible relationship with her, then I can definitely help you with that.

      Let me know.

      Reply
  21. Anonymous

    I… am quite shocked. This article is just… So, it’s your fault women claim rape/abuse, steal your money? i’m not even going to begin to list it all the problem a woman comes with.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      No, it’s not your fault that a woman claims that. But tell me, if you didn’t spend your time with a woman like that, would she ever have the ability to claim this?

      Reply
  22. Bongstar420

    Those women who laughed at you for being a “loser” need to spend their lives alone.

    Reply
  23. Wesley

    Hahaha nice try being a white knight and defending these miserable c’nts. All women just want someone who can literally support them throughout their whole life and spoil them. As soon as your bank account depletes…coincidently so do their feeling for you. Hmm.

    The problem now aside from the fact that these whores are enjoying being how they are, is the men who put them on pedestals and give them all their power. Seriously look at online dating, as a man you won’t even get checked out, a woman will have hundreds of messages HUNDREDS so she gets her already inflated bitchy attitude up even more and if you only meet 99/100 things she demands it’s YOUR Fault.

    Last bitch that thought she could talk down to me and disrespect me like she has to friends of mine I knocked her on her ass. Now she is friendly and more importantly respectful and careful when she talks to me. Now I see why women get beat so much look at it like this

    An immature kid gets hit by his parents for doing something wrong or foolish. Kid learns their lesson and knows its wrong. A 25 year old woman pulls similar immature shit and doesn’t even get a stern talking to…let alone hit, in fact she gets apologized to and even spoiled some more to get her affection and love bought back. So, like a shark on blood they do it as much as they can with no fear of consequence.

    Listen men if you want respect and not to be ignored and laughed at, make a statement and discipline them like I child, you will see the truth then.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Hey mate,

      It sounds like you have a lot of resentment and anger towards women. I cant even imagine what it must be like to carry that around with you day to day.

      Are you interested in trying to find a way to let go of it?

      Reply
      • Wesley

        I am not sure I understand the question. “They’re” the ones with the problem.

        Let go of what? “resentment”? I am simply aware of how they are and I will not be walked all over by them. So I do what I can to keep them in check from doing so.

        I am just simply disagreeing with your brown nosing the opposite sex. Like they have absolutely nothing to do with why thigs don’t work and it’s always the mans fault(female mentality) is nonsense.
        If this is your way of garnering female approval and attention. You have some growing up to do.

      • Leigh (LoGun)

        Just wanted to clarify something in the your response, I didn’t say anywhere in that article that it’s always the Man’s fault. I said it’s always your fault.

        If you’re frustrated, angry, feel used, trodden on or abused, it’s your fault for not doing something about it.

        There is always something you can do to change the situation and if you’re not doing it, then it’s your fault.

        This is the same advice I’d give to a woman who was asking me about relationship problems as well. If something isn’t right, then it’s your fault for not doing anything about it.

      • Wesley

        Yeah see there you go again. You don’t think when I had my downturns in a relationship I made an effort to fix “contribute” to the solution? I guess it was my fault she decided to just not be receptive to any communication or attempts at making our relationship work.

        Again by your logic, if I make women feel abused trotted on and bad, then it is not my fault but theirs. I don’t believe you would give the same advice to a woman, because a woman doesn’t have to approach, women are the selectors, they are the ones that do the laughing at etc…so that point you made is irrelevant. You said previously that you dont believe in 50/50, yet you claim that the woman you would advise things on would be the same as a man in which I just explained how that is false.

      • Leigh (LoGun)

        I never said it was your fault that she didn’t want to ‘contribute’ to the relationship but there is always something you could have done about the situation. You could have seen the signs earlier and gotten out of there, you could have chosen a different woman, you could have just walked away.

        You can never control how other people act but you can control what you contribute to any situation.

        And no, it’s not women’s fault if you make them feel abused, trotted on, and bad. It’s your fault and their fault. You both contirbute to the situation. But, if at any point the women aren’t happy in that relationship (some women actually get a kick out of feeling abused), then it’s their fault for not leaving.

        What it seems as though I haven’t communicated very clearly is that I believe in the absolute responsibility of the individual. It’s your life and if you don’t feel the way you want to feel, then it’s your fault for not doing anything about it.

        Does that make sense?

        If it doesn’t, check out http://www.attractioninstitute.org/programs/empowermen

        Yes, it’s a information page about a product but don’t buy anything. In fact, please don’t buy anything. I don’t want you to think I’m sending you there to close a sale or anything like that. The reason why it’s important that you focus solely on what you contribute in any situation is on that page and it’ll make plenty of sense.

        Once again, please don’t buy anything. Just read the page.

  24. Wesley

    I made my point at my last sentence. Don’t be afraid to discipline them instead of give in so they DON’T do all those things men hate.

    Reply
  25. Wesley

    Yeah yeah I have received “help” from “experts” like you and it goes know where. What works for them won’t usually for someone else. Bottom line is I am trying to
    Let everyone know that they need to be handled with aggression and control. Take their feminism out of the equation. Slap around torque an elbow and even abuse them every now and again so YOU are the one walking all over them not them. When I was mr nice guy it but me in the rear…so indirectly I followed your advice and did something about it…I took responsibility for curbing my “niceness” and now have become an “asshol3″ to another degree and it feels a lot better. Though I can still admit I get angry every now and again when I have to deal with those situations.

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      Great to hear you’ve taken responsibility for your situation and done something about it. It’s an empowering step and one that will help you immensely.

      The only thing is that you don’t have to handle situations with aggression. Control? Yes. Aggression? No.

      If you choose the right woman – one who is independent, confident, and caring – the aggression is exactly what you don’t need.

      Reply
    • bongstar420

      Like I said. They need to be alone. Simply do not talk to them. Only give decent people the time of day. Additionally, always keep in mind that most people are loosers (regardless of social or monetary status). It is usually a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

      Reply
  26. Johnshollaj

    Dude , i was reading this with great interest since i had personal experiences in this field . What you said has a good message but in my opinion isnt very realistic . Like i said , from my own experience all the women i ve met in my life were cold hearted materialistic bitches attracted only by fake ass posers and assholes who were seeking only sex . Ive done anything to have good relationships , even having close friends from the other gender , but all i got was a knife in my back . What you said in the begining that it has to be my fault , ive analyzed that too you know and i had nothing wrong in me . I dont want to look overly optimistic but ive been a very good student and i was not ugly at all . I helped each one of my girlfriends to get through the toughest moments of their lives , and all i got was being left for a fake gangster Alfa male or whatever . And all this happened from the ‘good’ girls as i never approached bitches but as far as i see all of em are fucking whores (or at least all the women ive met ) i dont want to sound like a loser because i aint i have achieved great things in my life , but in this case it is not on my hand

    Reply
    • Leigh (LoGun)

      I don’t know you and I’m basing all my assumptions off what you’ve written here but it sounds like you have no idea how to turn a woman on and then when they’re not attracted to you, you justify it as being their fault for being materialistic and cold hearted.

      I’ve never met you but from what you’ve written here, that would be my observation.

      Something to think about.

      Reply
      • John Smith

        @ Leigh: I don’t know you and I’m basing all my assumptions off what you’ve written here but you seem like a self-righteous narcissistic person who has had the world on a platter, and has no idea of what the words “bad luck” mean and then when, say, some middle-aged worker loses their job and ends up homeless, you blame them for not being young enough.

        I’ve never met you but from what you’ve written here, that would be my observation.

        Something to think about.

      • Leigh

        Interesting you say that mate because nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve had nothing handed to me.

        I’m the child of a single mother of 4. We were homeless till I was 3 and lived in government accommodation till I was 6.

        I was always the kid who had no money – for lunches, for excursions, for anything. My mum worked her arse off to feed and support us but it was always tough.

        I was so terrified of social interaction that at 19, I was eating my lunch in toilet cubicles so I didn’t have to talk to people.

        I left school at 16 and I’ve earned everything I’ve got. I never whinged about ‘bad luck’ or ‘unfair circumstances’. I got up off my arse and made my own luck.

        A middle aged person doesn’t end up homeless because they lose their job. They end up homeless because they haven’t planned for the fact they could lose their job.

        In any situation, there are elements within your control and elements outside your control. If you choose to focus on what’s outside your control then you will always be a victim. If you choose to focus on what’s inside your control, you will eventually get where you want to be.

        Your choice.

      • John Smith

        Hmph, I had you pegged as yet another one of those faux Internet expert know-it-alls. There is a lot of them out there.

        Maybe you’re one of those who just happen to have what it takes – good for you then. I don’t. If I had what it takes, I would have probably made it big by now. I’m actually fairly affable in real life, probably because I have to be. My posts, well, to be honest, were mostly trolling to get a rise out of you. I assumed you were one of those hoity-toity types who have it all but that you’ve explained, I apologise for my hostility. No hard feelings.

        Me, given that my plans in the past of all these types have failed, I try to be content with what little I do have, rather than try to grasp for more. Maybe I like being on my own, on some level! Perfectly legitimate lifestyle choice, you know. Perhaps I’m a bit too sensitive to get back with anyone again, after the bad experiences I’ve had. That’s my cross to bear, not yours. How would I go about just being single for the rest of my life, but in a way that won’t get other people saying that I’m gay or whispering unseemly rumours about me? (I tend to worry what people think, and I live in a smallish town).

      • Leigh

        Hey mate, no hard feelings. You said what you felt and were willing to listen and that’s far more than most.

        As for your situation, it’s more complicated to answer than a quick: Here’s three steps…

        If you want to get a real solution then I’d be more than happy to chat with you and help out. You’ve already shown that you’re receptive to new information so maybe I could help you find something that would work for you.

        You’ve got my email, just flick me a line and we’ll see what we can do.

        If not, all the best mate.

  27. Jonathan

    This is an awesome post! Thank you so much. I’ve kind of learned to resent women which is stupid. Anymore other things that could help me overcome it and love them again?

    Reply
  28. Don

    In response to Maria yes my choice of women have something to do with my troubles! As far as my wife goes we are working it out! She is house sitting for 2 days to get some “space” as she says but things have gotten better between us. I think the key to a relationship is communication. My first wife was a good women but we were just young to be married and she left me by cheating on me with another man. We are still friends to this day! Life can be hard sometimes and my wife’s comment to me was do you trust me going away to house sit? I told her if we did not have trust we should not be married!

    Reply
  29. Collin

    Dear sir,

    I’m sorry, but you’re wrong- completely wrong. Women are inherently, biologically, genetically, psychologically manipulative, cruel, heartless, opportunistic, and despicable.

    How do I know this? Because I’ve always gotten a healthy dose of female attention— but have fallen in love very selectively. The common thread between those I was merely attracted to and those with whom I fell in love, was always my compromising of myself, mistakenly believing in chivalry, and mistakenly believing that women were hallowed and beautiful. I always had interested girls, but I when I was truly in love, I bent over completely, brainwashed by the illusion of “the fairer sex,” etc.

    Interesting, is it not, that upon realizing my own worth and really coming to love myself for the first time in my life, my eyes were somehow opened to women’s true nature, almost simultaneously?

    Gentleman, they’re trouble. Far more trouble than they’re worth. You may see a nice-looking one in a bar or on the street and admire her legs and chest and ass and all that— but I promise you, your fantasy will always be a million times better than the reality. Keep clear of them, and I promise you, you’ll be happier.

    Reply
    • leigh

      Hey mate, thanks for your honest response.

      There’s one thing in your response that stands out to me that I’d like to understand more:

      – How much of a role do you think the fact that you completely bent over backwards for the women in your life and continually compromised yourself played in women taking advantage of you?

      – If you weren’t always so eager to change yourself to please women, do you think it would have even been possible for women to use you?

      The reason I ask is that it appears from where I’m sitting that you created the environment where women were able to use you by telling them, through your actions and I’m guessing your words as well, that this was acceptable behaviour.

      Do you think your actions could have contributed to the situation?

      If you’re not sure, consider this: If you weren’t so willing to bend over backwards and just do whatever women wanted, would women have been able to use you?

      Reply
      • bongstar420

        Blame the victim.

        Those women are responsible for their own indefensible conduct.

        Stealing is still wrong even is the person you stole from didn’t have a security system.

      • leigh

        I completely agree that every person is responsible for their own conduct. I’m simply asking Colin what he contributed to the situation and if the situation would have been different if he’d contributed something else.

        This isn’t about finding blame, it’s about finding a solution.

        If you only focus on what others contributed to the situation, you will continue to find yourself in that situation over and over again because other people aren’t going to change the way they live their life for you.

        If you focus on what you contributed to the situation, you can change that and find a long term solution because you are in complete control of how you live your life.

        It’s not about blame, it’s about finding a solution.

      • bongstar420

        Yep. It is the “marks” fault for being a “mark.”

        The only solution is for those women to never get pregnant, to be forced to take care of themselves 100%, and to be completely ignored forever by all decent men.

        So you wouldn’t blame a rapist for raping these women would you? You would ask the women what they did to get them into that situation?

      • leigh

        What I’m saying is that in any situation in life, there are elements that are outside your control and elements that are inside your control.

        If you focus on things that are outside your control, you’ll continually face the same problems over and over again because the world is never going to change to suit your agenda.

        If you focus on the things that are inside your control, you’ll be able to find a real and long term solution to your problems because your actions are completely under your control.

        This isn’t about blame or trying to find who’s responsible. All parties have contributed to the outcome in some way. This is about finding a solution for the people who’re going through the problem.

        It seems like it’s more important for you to find someone to blame for your problems rather than a solution to your problem and that’s fine. When you’re ready to find a solution, I highly recommend you take a look at what you contributed, how that influenced the outcome, and how you could create a different outcome by contributing something different.

      • Collin

        I don’t think I set myself up for anything, honestly. My bending over backwards wasn’t even that dramatic, really; just manifested in little acts of kindness and attentiveness where I knew other guys would be more complacent.

        When someone does that for me, I appreciate and value it- my immediate inclination isn’t to take advantage, and THAT’S the difference between me and the average girl-about-town.

      • Keith

        That’s why you go to places like Thailand, Amsterdam etc. and pay a hooker. No mess, no fuss. No attachment means no heartbreak.

    • John Smith

      Hear hear, fellow comrade. All the good women are either:

      1: Taken by the time they leave high school,
      2: Lesbian, or
      3: Afflicted with some form of horrible disease that ends up killing them and leaving all around them heartbroken.

      Strangely, all the women say much the same about the men.

      Me, I’ve decided a new tactic – make myself my own love object. Because I know that I am the only person I can truly trust, appreciate and love.

      Reply
    • leigh

      It seems like you’re really committed to blaming women for your problems.

      If that seems like at any point that it’s not going to help you create the life you want and you want to change it, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

      Reply
      • Keith

        No, what I want is simple. Let me spell it out for you:

        I. Want. To. Turn. Gay.

        Is it really so hard to understand?

      • Keith

        I already have the life I want. I want to be left alone.

        Plus, I’m not a man. Though anatomically male, I am without gender.

  30. Mary

    Dear Leigh,

    I just got on this site quite by accident. I Googled “how to be vulnerable.” And started following other links on your site. Your original post and this thread are extraordinary. You’re talking radical responsibility here. You’re talking about the fact that you can only attract on the outside what you are on the inside. I’d only say to you maybe change it’s your fault to it’s your responsibility, but I think perhaps you’re doing it to wallop some people on the head who need to be woken up, so I understand why you’ve written it the way you’ve written it. I’m female, and you’ve helped me tremendously. I am so grateful I found this site… but then when you go looking with open eyes, heart and mind, you find what you need.

    I realized I am not letting my wonderful boyfriend see my vulnerabilities for fear he will leave. The post I read on your site before I arrived on this one absolutely set me straight. Love me… all of me. Dark side and all. Own my strength. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can now go to him and be me.

    Now about this post… guys like John Smith, Mark, Don, Collin,etc: I am saddened to hear you’re having a hard time in life and with women. Your posts show you are in a lot of pain. I wish I could have a cup of tea or a drink with each of you and just chat and help you smile again. All women are not bitches. I never deliberately treated a man badly and if someone approached me and I wasn’t interested I was always kind about saying no thanks. I think very well of men. Right now I have the kindest, sweetest man in my life I could ever ask for, and I appreciate him every day, and make sure he knows it. And for those of you who think looks are everything… he’s over 50, lost a lot of his hair, he has a bit of a belly, he rents a room in a house rather than own a house (lost it to the ex in the divorce many years ago) so he can afford to pay for his son to go to university… and I love him with all my heart. Just told him on our last date he’s the handsomest man in town, as a matter of fact. He actually blushed!! Me, I’m younger and what I’ve heard men in bars refer to as a babe. He is so kind, generous, considerate, affectionate with me, I couldn’t help but fall in love with him. So please don’t believe it’s about your looks. It’s more about how you treat her. We don’t not do “treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen” with each other. That’s BS. A decent girl won’t put up with it nor dish it out.

    I know Leigh your ideas are hard for some to get, but you are right when you take responsibility you become master of the game. Thanks for your great work. Clearly you lived through a lot. I can see where your compassion comes from.

    your new fan, Mary S

    Reply
    • Leigh

      Thanks for your comment Mary. I’m so glad you’ve been able to find the answer you’re looking for here.

      And thanks for your kind words as well.

      You’re right, the word ‘fault’ is there to smack some of these guys upside the head but maybe ‘responsibility’ might be more effective.

      Good luck with your journey.

      Reply
  31. Leigh (LoGun)

    Thanks for the comment mate but I’m not sure what the point of your post is.

    Could you try summarising it for me in a more concise manner?

    Reply
  32. Wesley

    Oh and nice try on trying to make a profit on your perceived “resentment” I have. I guess some men will try to use others too.

    Reply
  33. Leigh (LoGun)

    There are several assumptions in your post that you might not be aware that you’re making and I thought you might like to be able to see what’s really going on.

    1. That your frustration and pain is solely caused by things outside you

    In every situation involving two people, both people contribute to the experience of each other in the situation. This includes you.

    Am I saying that women don’t contribute anything to the frustration you experience? Definitely not. But you’re not blameless either. There is always something that you contribute to a situation and until you can see that, your life will be frustrating and painful.

    2. That all women are the same

    Not all women are the same and have the same motivations. That’s completely incorrect. Just in the same way that all guys aren’t the same, all women aren’t the same.

    You seem very committed to blaming other people for the frustration and pain you experience in your life. I’m very committed to taking responsibility for my life. There are women who fall into both groups and somewhere in between as well. Categorising all women as having the exact same personality types is as clever as saying that all cars are the same colour. And I’m guessing that you’re not that silly.

    Am I saying that there are no women who are painful, frustrating, needy, money grabbers? Definitely not. But there is no way that they’re all like that.

    3. That I’m trying to sell you something

    Would I like you to believe in our philosophy enough to purchase a product? Of course. That’s how this business survives. Am I going to try and sell you something if you’re clearly not in need of something? Of course not.

    There are over 500 articles 15 videos and podcast, and 40000 forum posts that you can access for free. And if you realyl want a solution, rather than just looking for something to complain about, you can find your solution in one of these.

    Reply
  34. Keith

    You are obviously a woman using a man’s name, or you’re just buying into their agenda in the hopes of getting a fuck. As for me, I hope that I am able to turn gay.

    Reply

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