Thought of the day: The Man of your Dreams

This is the next installment of the ‘Thought of the day’ series. These are little quotes, sayings, and (mostly) questions that I ask myself to keep me moving towards the life I want to create.

Today’s is one of my favourites:

Who is the Man of your dreams?

This question isn’t about finding some dude who I’m in love with or working out who embodies the traits that I want to embody.

It’s a question to bring my focus to how I want to live my life.

I use this to help me bring things into perspective, especially when I’m confused about what I should be doing or how I should be living my life.

Times when I might ask myself this are when I’m sitting in front of a project that I don’t feel like doing, when I’m about to start a tough conversation, or when I’m about to do anything scary.

My answer to this question is:

He is considerate.

He is honest.

He is understanding.

He is generous.

He is courageous.

He is open.

He is focussed.

He is dedicated.

He is a Man of his word.

If I ever find myself in a situation where I’m not sure what to do, asking ‘who is the Man of your dreams?’ helps me work out what is the right course of action.

What you’ll notice about this list is that there’s no external perceptions or outcomes listed on here.

I haven’t said he’s funny, charismatic, or attractive. Why? Because you can never be those things to everyone. Some people might hate you, others might like you. Some might find you attractive, others might find you repulsive.

There’s no point including things on your list that are impossible to achieve. Just stick to ways of engaging and relating to the world.

So, who is the Man of your dreams?

How does he engage his world? How does he relate to other people? How does he relate to himself?

Don’t focus on the outcomes of his actions or the way he’s perceived because they are completely out of your control. Focus only on how he lives his life.

Don’t focus on how much money he has or how many women he can attract, focus on the way he engages his work and how he interacts with women.

Share your answers below.

 

L.

 

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5 Responses

  1. Josef

    Ill try to be the most integrate man everyday to pass in these life… But, i found a problem now, and these is a big one, well, I develop a litle problem in my first times in the seduction comunity, the bad lection was that you have to hide your true emotional state for others for the objetive to be more persuasive or whatever, sure you will understand these thing, well now, Im more in my real me, but, Im still been disasociated with my emotional states in the 60% part of the time, im stay in blank and lost in a big part… So, i was research about that, and i found that these problem could be fixed with cognitive therapy… Damn.. that therapy require so much time, 2 years..! and is very expensive… So, imagine the problem that these behaviour is caussing now on me, and that create me toxic stress, because i cant quit me out that fuc..in behaviour… God help me in these thing… Guys, Leigh help in these thing… again, 🙂 See you, nice weekend

    Reply
    • ehhe

      “Im still been disasociated with my emotional states in the 60% part of the time”

      Have you tried meditation? It helps you to stay connected with your emotional state.

      “So, i was research about that, and i found that these problem could be fixed with cognitive therapy”

      How do you know it can be fixed with cognitive therapy? Therapy is, as far as I know, just for people with major mental problems.

      “that therapy require so much time, 2 years..!”
      How do you know? It takes a qualified psychologist to evaluate this and it differs from person to person.

      Reply
  2. Zach

    ^ I’m confused.

    I’m a man of integrity, and I want to live my ENTIRE life like that. No more bullshit of trying to please EVERYONE. I REALLY realized this when some friends and I were down in Ocean City Maryland at the boardwalk a few days ago. We approached some girls and just made random conversation (they were wasted lolz) and I just said whatever I felt like saying. That included teasing them about smoking cigarettes/being sarcastic about it. The one girl got prrrettyyy pissed off at me about it but now I just don’t give a shit. I’ll say what I feel needs to be said, and what I want to say, based off living a life of integrity. CHYEAH

    Reply
  3. Letitshinenow

    I so needed to see this post right now, thanks LoGun 🙂

    My dream man:

    – he lives with integrity
    – he gives his all in every moment
    – he is honest
    – a man of his word
    – courageous
    – ambitious
    – generous
    – kind
    – loving
    – always striving to be the best he can be
    – doesn’t change who he is for anybody
    – open

    Reply
  4. Pedro

    My Ideal Man:
    -Can control his emotions – not overcoming/controlling/ignoring them, but being able to direct them and transform them into a positive force in his life

    -Is very motivated to create – he’s to embody both creativity and motivation, to have a drive to transform new ideas into reality and pursue changes

    -Is not preoccupied, not worried about future events – I find this word very interesting. Being preoccupied means one is occupying his mind with something before (pre) this something is to take place, and therefore forgetting to live his present life.

    Now I’d have to work and pursue these ideals. It’s funny how I believe the Ideal Man to have exactly that which lacks in me…

    Reply

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