Two questions you MUST ask yourself, every day

The usefulness of the answers you receive to questions about how you should live your life is determined by the questions you ask. Questions like “How can I become an alpha male?“, “Why don’t they like me?”, or “What would William Shatner do?” will typically take you away from your core values and the life you want to live. There are other, more productive questions, that will take you closer to your One Perfect Day.

I just got an email from a client who’s recently completed his coaching journey who articulated this situation perfectly.

His life has been a rollercoaster of challenges and experiences due to asking the wrong questions. He spent his life focussing on the wishes and desires of others and wondered why his life left him feeling empty and meaninless. After years of struggling to find productive solutions, he turned to coaching to find the core of his issues and a reliable, long-term solution. Though this process, he found his answer – two simple questions.

These two questions have given him the clarity to be able to look at himself in mirror without shame and the strength to start moving forward with his life. If you’re struggling to feel authentic and strong, read these questions in his email below.

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Hey mate,

Now that I’ve had the time to fully digest how much coaching has changed my life, I wanted to share something with you…….and before you get excited, it’s not my extensive nubian goat porn collection…

For most of my adult life (especially the past 10 years), I felt uncomfortable looking at myself in the mirror. This was not due to any major complex I had concerning my appearance (granted, I’m not exactly Hugh Jackman material…but I scrub up ok)…..but rather I saw a fraud staring back at me every time – a small boy pretending to be a man.

The small boy who kept his desires well hidden, the small boy who needed to gain others’ permission to do the things he wanted, the small boy who convinced himself he was happy in his relationship to counter the fear of being alone. And with each passing year, as the small boy’s physical appearance took on that of the man he was supposed to be, it became increasingly difficult to confront.

So what has changed since going through coaching? Well for starters, I’m no longer uncomfortable looking in the mirror because the man I’ve become is now congruent with the physical appearance of the man I see. Of course, this is a constant work in progress but the small boy has gone….and the fraud has gone with it. Every day is full of excitement and possibility, where once there only existed the resignation of someone who had decided to settle for less.

I never used to speak of power and connection because I didn’t have a concept of what they were, and how they could change my life. I now actively seek out both through challenging my perceptual barriers and reminding myself daily:

Question 1: What kind of person do you want be?
Question 2: What would they do right now?

Sure, I stumble along the way but having the presence of mind to come back to these questions gets me back on the right path soon enough.

There have been two major turning points in my life to date, which has changed it dramatically for the better:

1. Going to Japan as an exchange student in 1994, age 15
2. Discovering meditation back in 2003

It is no exaggeration to say that LifeOS represents the third, and probably most significant turning point in my life. I know I’ll look back at this last few months for many years to come and say that’s where it all happened……and for that, I can’t thank you enough.

Hope you’re well and thank you once again for getting me on this pathway towards becoming a better man.

Keep em huge,

Tom
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If you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of the kind of Man you are, then it’s not going to happen by accident. It’s going to take commitment, courage, determination, self-awareness, and focus control.

If you don’t feel like you can do it on your own, then we can help.

Leigh

4 thoughts on “Two questions you MUST ask yourself, every day”

  1. Those are definitely some tough questions, and extremely powerful if used well. Honesty and authenticity are essential qualities of any man living a powerful life, and they start with being honest and authentic with yourself. Great points.

    Reply
  2. My life is kind of confusing right now, even though I’ve a girlfriend now – which I thought was gonna solve all my problems (ha, big mistake – but an enlightening one…).

    Well,this is where I get confused the most…I need to be honest with myself and others to ‘Turn up the volume’ and prove to myself that that which I’ve been doing is not working so I can change it.

    If I answer these questions and the answer I get goes against what I’m feeling (I feel anxious but the kind of man I wanna be wouldn’t ) in the moment do I still do it anyway?

    Isn’t that going against the ‘Turn up the volume’ concept?
    I don’t know if I made myself clear,maybe this would be better discussed in the forum,but my thoughts are so confused I don’t know if I’d be able to make myself clear there anyway… So….I think that’s my doubt 🙂

    Reply
    • You made yourself clear man don’t worry) what about trying these answers: “Im feeling so anxious right now but would the man I want to be let his fears get into his way? Wouldn’t he go after what he wants regardless of how he feels and focuses on his goals?”. “Im so lazy but I don’t want to study at all. The man I want to be wouldn’t feel lazy at all.” Now this way of thinking wont take you much further but if you think like this: “I dont want to study at all but the man I want to be takes dedication hard work commitment. He wouldnt let his momenteraly feelings get in his way while he is working for his ultimate goal. He would study regardless of the situation around him and regardless of how he feels.” I also invite you to read Are you a boy or man? Your 20+2 checklist post. It will enlight you more.

      Reply

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